fear is back

[vernon]

Hi, as most of you know I was supposed to have my eye surgery a couple of years ago and between me cancelling and last time it was cancelled because of an eye infection. Well the date has arrived again its this Thursday the 30th. Its only small surgery but if not successful because of my eye condition it could lead to further surgery, but as you all know the eye in question has no sight so cant really lose anything, but could end up with better sight in that eye than I have had for years. This time I didn’t seem so scared, I was convinced I would die from fear or something but not scared at all more like looking forward to better vision. But, yesterday I woke up so so scared of the surgery even though its real small surgery. Then today I woke up a real mess shaking with fear and hardly able to walk so weak, I know it’s the fear of surgery but its so instanced and am so scared I will cancel again on the day and I know deep down if I cancel again It will be on my mind. Until I get this done even if it is not successful, I know my nerves will never get better with this on my mind constantly. The fear today is unbelievable and I am so scared I wont go and all this will do is put me back to the beginning and will have to go through it all over again. I realise now this putting of must be a big thing towards raising my anxiety as it don’t feel like fear its moor like a panic and feeling dizzy. Weak and shaky walking. Last week when I wasn’t scared and looking forward to seeing again I thought I had began to think positive again as last time I was scared weeks before. Sorry for being such a baby and waffling on but I am so scared and scared I won’t turn up again. Take Care. Vernon

[Quirky]

Hi Vernon,

I'm quite new here so don't know your story with anxiety or with your eye but I understand your fear of the surgery. It's natural to feel scared, even non anxious people do, but us anxious types always imagine the worst. I've had several tests in the last two years, partly to diagnose my ME and partly because of my anxiety. You would not believe how worked up I got myself just over tests at the hospital. I was petrified for a few weeks before some of the tests.
Also some years ago I needed all my wisdom teeth out, I was so scared and cancelled it a few times. Eventually they got so painful I just went and got it done. I felt so fantastic and proud of myself when I'd done it and it was over. I had it done with local anaesthetic as I was scared of a general but it was fine.I know that's different to what you're facing but it's still fear. Try and be brave Vernon, imagine how great it will be for this to be over with and you never know you may even see better again. The worst bit is always the waiting beforehand. You'll be in good hands, tell the doctor or nurse you feel anxious, they'll understand.
Good luck, we'll all be thinking of you.
LJ

[vernon]

Thanks LJ, They know I have cancelled and I told my surgeon last time it was because of anxiety and fear, so she told her staff that she wants a certain anaesthetist with her on the day of my surgery and as I don’t like general anathestic this anaesthetist is so good with sedation. So she told me to come ready for general. But they would use local and use general as a last resort

[Quirky]

Sounds like the surgeon is on your side and very understanding. They will help you through it too.
Thanks for your reply to my post too by the way.
Take care,
LJ

[Meg]

Venon , maybe a few regular valiums for these next few days would be a sensible move on this occassion.

Its better than last time so you are making progress.

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[seh1980]

aaawwww Vern I would be scared too hun. At least the surgeon seems to be very understanding so that will help I'm sure. I'm sure they will do their best to make you relaxed and comfortable. All the best..:D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[mjh74]

Hi Vernon,

Sorry to hear about your anxiety. I don't know how I managed it but I had a lump which had grown around a stitch from an operation when I was 7 removed from my eyeball and 3 new dissolveable stitches with absolutely no sidation, just some anaesthetic drops and then a pain block put into the eye. Throughout the whole operation I was listening to my heart beating and it was SO steady until the painblock started to run out as they were putting the stitches in. The anaethetist just came over with some drops and they put the final stitch in, squirted what seemed like vaseline which filled my eye and I was up and out within 15 minutes of it finishing! It sounds horiffic but the staff are so friendly and reassuring and when you are actually there ready to have it done, each sensation isn't as bad as you expect it to be!

Mark

[carlin]

Hi Vernon,
My goodness, this is such hard work isn't it? we plod along trying to get things slowly back on track and then something major happens and bang, back to feeling scared, dizzy, tearful again. I have no sound advice, i, along with all here, understand what you are going through, all i can say is, try the valium as Meg suggested, and take each hour as it comes, you will probably be ok on the day, and the op. hopefully will be successful and your quality of sight will be so much better, i wish we could all come along with you, mind you that would be a sorry sight!!!sorry i can't help vern but so understand how awful you are feeling, i get like this when i have to go shopping sometimes, so i know what's going on. You will be fine, they will look after you and things will be greatly improved afterwards. keep posting vern. take care xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[zena]

Hi Vernon,
Can imagine what you are going through hunny.

I'm sure as someone who is as strong as you will be able to get through.
Will be sending you all the positives thoughts that I can on the day.
Good luck Vernon.

with good wishes

Zena

[jill]

Hi Vern,

I can understand your thoughs and fears and my heart goes out
to you vern. At christmas my mun went in for an op and I could
feel all here fears[^] Although my mum dose not suffer PA or
high anxiaty she had the same symptoms as you. She told me
that the fear was unbelievable. She also told me that she wanted
to walk away and not have the op the fear was that bad. The staff
in the hospital were very good, they understood her fears and made
her feel relaxed and comfortanble. After the op Mum was fine, the relief on her face was unbelievable. She said it was the waiting and the negative thoughs that were going on in her head made things worse,
if she had to go through it again she would not be as scared.
I know its hard Vern but be brave, you CAN do this.

Sending you a BIG HUG, with lots and lots of strength and courage to help you get through this.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXXX

[kairen]

Hi Vern,

I can understand you feeling scared i think anyone would just keep

thinking about all the benefits to this surgery, you know you have

everything to gain and nothing to lose, you will be fine, i know its easier

said than done but try not to think about it just put it to the back of yr

mind, and keep telling your self you will be fine you can do it,

I really think you will get there this time as you seem a lot more

positive,

we are all here to help you through it vern, you can do it, im sure they

will do every thing they can to make you feel comfortable as they know

of your worries be strong hun xxx

take care

kairen x

[vernon]

thanks all u are such a good crowd u have made me feel much better (I think) lol. Meg about the Vallium I havnt touched one for months now not since i had the sygmoidoscopy, I asked last year if it would be ok to take a valium on the morning and they said ok as long as i tell the surgeon when i get there. If I took a vallium or a atavan (lorazapam) would this stop me from being able to have sedation? If i can manage to stay awake with sedation i would prefer it. but they told me to prepare for genral just in case i do panic which wouldnt be good with eye surgery. and Meg is it better to take Vallium of Lorazapam? thanks Vernon

[mumof4]

aww vernon i wish u all the best i hope u do go but i know how u feel im the same with my tooth and u know how bad i am with the dentist.


good luck and let me know how u get on.

[vernon]

lol taylor i have had toothach on and off for over 12 months for the sake of 15 mins at dentist arnt we so stupid? tc

[pips]

Thinking of you Verny and hope you manage to go through with it.

Wishing you all the very best.

Take care.

Love PIP'S X X

[Meg]

Vernon,

Taking one won't stop you having sedation but they will take into account what you've already got in your system so may not give you the full amount straight away as part of the sedation is often an derivitive of the valium family anyway.

If you are finding the stress on Wed too difficult and the night before take one then too.

We're all rooting for you .


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[vernon]

thanks meg, are valium the same as atavn (lorazapam)? I got these on prescription after the vallium but not took any of either for months now, so does this mean i will get a stronger effect from then as i havnt had any for so long? the Vallium I have are 2mg and the atavan are 1mg but when i did take atavan i only took half a tab as i found these stronger than vallium. thanks Vernon

[Meg]

No they're not the same . Both Benzodiazepines though. I guess its like being a first cousin drug.

You've not taken them regularly for any length of time anyway have you to build up resistance, so should be fine straight off.

Ativans peak quicker to work but don't last as long. The dose doesn't mater as you can easily half or double the dose to what works for you with each ..




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[vernon]

thanks Meg