blackie
17-12-08, 09:56
Hi all
I am stuck in a dilemer at the moment. I am agoraphobic and havn't been able to leave the house very much over the last three years. In the last three months i have been tring really hard and am now able to go out with support people which include my parents and my support worker. Anyway today i am meant to be seeing two of my friends for lunch in town but yesterday it all got unsettled when i woulnt of been able to get there and back so i cancelled. It turns out i can now get there and back but i am terrified. I built myself up to do it and although i was terrified i wasn't going to back out. Now i am finding it really hard to get back that motervation. I had a teriible night last night when i just couln't stop crying and didn't get much sleep. And now i am coming down with a cold. i feel utterly depresses (and a bit sorry for myself). I am 20 years old and am meant to be having the time of my life. I am also taking a biology degree through the open uni and got some great results last week. However i have to do two residential units and this is making me feel really down as the more i read about them the more i feel i cannot do it. The first one involves a feild trip and the second public speaking. They are in july and august which seems to be getting closer very quickly. I just dont know what to do at the moment. I know i should try and force myself to go out today it's just i dont know if i can. And i dont want to keep mucking my friends around. They will get sick to death of me.
Sorry for the moan.
Blackie
I am stuck in a dilemer at the moment. I am agoraphobic and havn't been able to leave the house very much over the last three years. In the last three months i have been tring really hard and am now able to go out with support people which include my parents and my support worker. Anyway today i am meant to be seeing two of my friends for lunch in town but yesterday it all got unsettled when i woulnt of been able to get there and back so i cancelled. It turns out i can now get there and back but i am terrified. I built myself up to do it and although i was terrified i wasn't going to back out. Now i am finding it really hard to get back that motervation. I had a teriible night last night when i just couln't stop crying and didn't get much sleep. And now i am coming down with a cold. i feel utterly depresses (and a bit sorry for myself). I am 20 years old and am meant to be having the time of my life. I am also taking a biology degree through the open uni and got some great results last week. However i have to do two residential units and this is making me feel really down as the more i read about them the more i feel i cannot do it. The first one involves a feild trip and the second public speaking. They are in july and august which seems to be getting closer very quickly. I just dont know what to do at the moment. I know i should try and force myself to go out today it's just i dont know if i can. And i dont want to keep mucking my friends around. They will get sick to death of me.
Sorry for the moan.
Blackie