Enough.

[ladybird64]

I'm not wallowing in self pity, I have tried to help myself get better with the books, articles here on NMP and other places.
I try to stay positive most of the time although I do have blips, same as everybody else, I usually get back out there and try and face/float whatever the heck you want to call it.
It seems like everything that I do, something comes along to test me..it feels like I'm not supposed to get better! I have had a rough week with family problems and today have received news which has just totally wiped out any faith I had in accepting my lot in life and going with the flow.
I can't post what it is because this is a forum which can be seen on the internet and I might be recognised, I did pop into the chat room earlier, which helped briefly.
Tonight I feel like I'm just slipping into depression and I can't get a hold to stop myself. I can't cry although I should, I can't let my anger go although I know I desperately need to..I want to blame SOMETHING for the crap that keeps happening to my family but I can't do a damn thing.
I'm not suicidal, too many people depending on me..I metioned in a recent post that I wondered if some higher power was having a laugh at my expense.
Now I'm bloody convinced of it. I think I'm beat this time.

[marie1974]

hiya matey, im very sorry u feel this bad hun and i have been in a similar situation where i am so angry and sad and its all inside and i feel like i wanna explode.

i made my self see a counsellor in the end to let it all out and to try to let go and understand, have u done this?

u have to let this all out somewhere hun cos keeping it inside is just killing u and making u much worse.

hugs and im always here if u need to talk xx

[Cathy V]

Hi ladybird. Sorry you're feeling so down and without knowing whats happened I can't comment, but just wanted to say that as a member of nmp, when you fall down you don't hit the ground...you fall into the cushions and feathers that we put underneath you. And always remember what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Keep going, we are all with you.
Cathy xxx

[Hope 2]

Hi Ladybird

God I feel for you, I truly do.

I get a real sense of stomach churning, gut wrenching, pent up whatever going on for you.

Maybe cos I feel in a similar place. Your thread title says it all, I relate.

In your reply to a recent thread of mine, you spoke of not being able to even imagine 'opening your boxes'. You know I have begun to (try) and start taking the sticky tape off mine. Only it don't wanna bleedin well come off lol, been stuck down too long eh.

I kinda reached a point where I thought what is worse......

Living the rest of my life feeling 'not belonging' with both myself and 'society'.

By having a go at this counselling malarky I felt it was my only chance of 'living' and being who I REALLY am. I did think it may be too late though :unsure: .

It's funny cos I have been going round this last couple of weeks looking up to the sky going...........

"WTF is going on, whoever you are 'up there', get stuffed, I have had it !!"

Don't let 'em/it win. WE are worth more aren't we ????



Hope and Care sent to you :flowers:

Julia