At a loss, my anxiety is back to stay!

[rocklover]

After having managed to "cure" myself for around 3 weeks in Oct/Nov, I am having to face the fact that my anxiety has come back almost as bad as it was before.

The difference this time is that my panic attacks are more frequent and they are happening usually before I have to do things that I can't cancel (e,g dates with my boyfriend, taking my daughter to a Christmas party at a toddlers group). The awful thing is when they happen the after affects can last all day, even through the night to the next morning, I find it terrifying and uncomfortable. I really don't know what to do, I pulled myself out of it before, but I can't seem to do it this time. I am using the deep breathing technique to stop the actual attacks, but the shaking and constant feeling of fear afterwards is really difficult to cope with.

I am also waking in the morning with feelings of dread, I am just so angry at myself that I am allowing my mind to do this to me again, as I have also gone back to feeling sick all the time. Has anyone else had a relapse and managed to deal with it? What do I do? I don't want to go on to meds again as I felt even worse when I was taking them.

[MikeyT]

Hi
I was in your situation in the past, and I realise it is hard, but I have come to think that the anxiety goes around in a cycle.
Everything you have described I have experienced, I tried to sort it by using alternative methods and I bought the CD from the forum which helps as does this forum, because even though I have a wife and two children, you can feel isolated.
A friend of mine is a drugs and alcohol counsellor, who has also suffered from anxiety, he suggested going to see my GP and getting back on meds as he thought trying to battle it by myself was not the most effective way.
I have been on a small dose of Cipralex for a while now, and most of the time it seems to work for me (not this morning - see other post) with all meds its finding one that works for you and a GP who knows their stuff when it comes to anxiety. Plus meds do take a while to get working.
For me the anxiety is still there at certain times, but the other feelings of dread etc have diminised.
Don't loose heart - sorry for any spellings.
Good luck and have a nice Christmas
Mike

[rocklover]

Thanks Mike. I am thinking of trying 5-HTP, as I have heard some good things about it, I am not sure what else to do, think I ought to buy Claire Weeke's book, I really have to change the way i am thinking. Hope you have a great Christmas and New Year too!

[lorac]

Hi

I have been through so many of these relapses that I have just learnt to accept them as part of my recovery. When this used to happen I used to get so upset and think I will never get better but now I have learnt to carry on the best I can and I have made great progress by doing this, even on my really bad days I can still do what I want to do. I think these relapses have made me a stronger person and more understanding of myself, they are not pleasant but I really do think they are part of recovery. You mentioned getting a copy of Claire Weekes book, I would strongly recommend it because it helped me so much to understand what was going on.

Carol

[rocklover]

Thanks Lorac. I have picked up a copy of Panic Attacks by Christine Ingham in Waterstones today, but will need to order Claire Weekes I think. I have also bought some Omega-3 capsules instead of the 5-HTP because I was worried about the reported nausea as a side effect, as I am already feeling nauseas most of the time, I don't want to make it worse.

The Omega-3 was suggested on this site, so I'll give it a go. Going on holiday to Florida in November brought my anxiety back, so at least I know there is a reason for it this time. I can still get out and about into town etc, but I just hate every second of it as I feel so sick, it's like my body has forgotten how to relax and I am totally tensed up tight all the time, even when I am not having attacks, this is why i am feeling sick. I was taking St John's Wort before and they really helped, but I am back on the pill now, so cannot take them. I am thinking I may have to come off the pill again which will be really inconvenient.