Demoralised, how bout u guys??

[MVP123]

Does anyone else feel totally demoralised when you have a few good days and you think Hey I'm getting better, only to then suddenly have a major attack?

Well I had a really good day yesterday and last night felt the best I have felt in a few months, and I haven't had a panic attack in like 2 months. And then today whilst I was doing my usual round of christmas visiting I was at my elderly grans house and had a really bad attack, I was so dizzy I could hardly stand and felt so sick and kept having major adrenaline rushes, and couldn't stop trembling. This went on for about 3 hours and I was left rocking backwards and forwards pulling at my hair, and I haven't done that in quite a while. It's like this horrible illness lulls you into a false sense of security by you feeling better, then it says ha ha I was only fooling you, it's like you are being punished for feeling good.

There was no reason for me to have had the attack today cause like I said I have been feeling ok lately and I haven't been worrying or stressed about anything. It just makes it so much worse to have a panic attack after feeling like you are getting better, I feel like, why should I bother trying to get better its going to keep getting me.

Does anybody else feel like this? and sorry for the rant, but had a bad day and needed to vent

[girlrock]

MVP,

I know exactly what you mean. I didn't have panic or health anxiety for 4 years now and it suddenly returned with a bout of stress and then stress-induced health troubles. So for the last 2 months I've been a basket case but all my stressors started getting better one by one. For instance I passed the class that I was failing(which was one of my first triggers) and then all I had to wait for was my bloodwork to come back. I told myself that once that bloodwork came back fine and clean I was going to do cartwheels down the street and go out and celebrate and have a great time! Well the first day...I was completely ecstatic....I was walking around humming silly tunes and being giddy and calling everyone I knew to share the exciting news about my doctor's appointment. Then BAM...the next day right back into a panic attack! And then yesterday and today again feeling very anxious. All my original stressors have diminished!! I don't understand what is going on with me...but I do have a feeling its the "anxious about being anxious" thing with Christmas coming up. Very upset about it...it will be my first anxious Christmas :( Hopefully some magic switch gets turned before Christmas Eve... I hope!

Thanks for letting me vent back :) Just know that you aren't alone and it is so frustrating. Especially when its something you thought you left in your past years ago...

[Yvonne]

Yeah I know the feeling but not with panic. Although have been through what you've described in the past.

It's disheartening, makes you feel like giving up trying doesn't it. Mine is a case of feeling content for a couple of weeks then coming tumbling down with low low mood. Same thing really but instead of panic it's the brother the demon depression.

Iknow how you feel and when the feelings come back you can't remember how it felt when you were good. "It" just comes and laughs in your face and says "I'M STILL HERE HE HE".

What probably caused your panic was a thought of some kind which reminded you of anx, or it was a bodily feeling which the anxiety ridden part of the brain latched on to and wouldn't let go thus getting back into the old vicious circle of anxious thoughts - more anxiety - more anxious thoughts ... etc.

That was a horrible attack you had today and the after effects of such an attack can last hours and then we keep worrying about it. I dunno, you just have to be so so strong with this crap and put it down to experience.

Try to get it off your mind somehow. Take care.

[MVP123]

It does make me feel better to know other people go through this, then I also feel guilty for feeling that cause I wouldn't want anyone to go through this, talk about mixed emotions eh! Anyway now I am feeling a bit better I am starting to feel guilty about the way I was today, as I was visiting my Gran who is 94 and not in the best of health, my Aunt who lives with her (who suffers from Dementia) and also my mom who suffers with bad nerves, so they really didn't need to see me rocking backwards and forwards and pulling at my hair, my mom was upset and was crying and I feel so bad now for putting them through that, esp[ecially my elderly Nan who I should be trying to cheer up and she is really frail and properly ill. Damn I feel so guily now.....

[Grayw]

Yes,i'm the same lately,seems the slightest stress triggers one off,i'm a bit stronger now though when i have one although i could well do without it and hope one day i will get better,they only really started in October but, seems like a lot longer.Had not only the stess of christmas but ,quite a bit of noise and stuff coming from flat below due to workmen etc...so,its probably that wich is stressing me out.I did go a whole week without a panic attack and yes it lulls you into a false sense of security befor it strikes again,oh well,we carry on regardless,Gray

[tracy1972]

i will join you had three months really good now for the last month really stressed and then yesterday bang and today got no get up and go feel like sleeping all day or just sittting doing nothing with a blanket and drifting in and out of sleep it s horrible and i do know how you feel and my heart goes out to you but look on the bright side only a while to wait and we will have a ffew good months again and then bright side tc from tracy

[MVP123]

Thanx for your replies guys, but I just can't get it out of my head that I shouldn't still be getting these side effects as I have been on Citalopram for 6 weeks now, so I keep thinking I am really ill and there must be something in my head to keep giving me headaches and making me so dizzy and sick, am sooooo fed up, don't know what to think or do :unsure:

[LACEYA1961]

I know exactly what you mean and it's so depressing. Made it into town two weeks ago and was fine then couldn't go this past Friday. Guess we just have to always be prepared for an attack but try not to dwell? I don't know how to handle it.