Dominic1975
20-12-08, 23:55
Hi All
Where do I start?? About 2years ago, Id been out for a really nice meal with a few freinds, which included my normal bottle of red wine, so was feeling nicely chilled out and relaxed.... On the way home we called into another friends house for a coffee and out of no where, I had my first, extremely frightening panic attack... The symptoms were terrifying and at the time I truely believed I was going to die... My heart was racing fast, couldnt breath and couldnt concentrate on any of my surrounding.. The only thing I knew was, I needed to get home quick, as I would rather die somewhere familar!!!
For the next two weeks, I experiences several attacks, to the point where I was scared to go to bed and most nights feel asleep on the sofa watching telly vision. I was convinced I had a several health problem, but was too scared to go to the doctors, in the fear that I was right and my time on earth was coming to an end
I had talked it through with a close freind, and one day she gave me a clipping from a magazine on Panic Attacks. Reading the article, I could have cried, I realised at this point this is what I had been suffering with. On the one hand I was relieved and on the other disappointed I hadnt got something more seriously wrong. Strange statement you might think, but a medical condition is diagnosed, treated and you can fight it.... mental health is a lot more complex and ongoing and I wasnt sure I had it in me to put up the fight!!
Well several months past and my behaviour changed day by day. I went from a person that really enjoyed holidays, socialising, dinner parties, meeting up with friends for drinks and meals.... to someone that only left the house to go to work!!! Every social occasions ended in me leaving earlier, or calling off at the last minute, I couldnt even feel comfortable around close friends and family. The final straw was last November, when a life long dream of visiting New York, was ruined by continual panic attacks including several on the flight home, which was the most terrifying thing I had experienced. Trapped in a lump of metal, 30,000 feet in air and no way of getting off for another 6hours
I returned home and decided I needed to go to the doctors.... This was a waste of time, as all they wanted to do was get me onto medications... So I decided to sort it out myself. I researched for hour after hour on the net and learnt a lot of useful information. I discovered CBT and lucky for me, found the treatment was covered by my private health insurance through work
I finished the therapy about 2months ago and found it really helped. I was able to look into myself and discovered I have been suffered with high levels of anxiety all my life and have a very irrational way of thinking. I also think I have learnt these patterns of thinking from my childhood
Me now?? Im still suffering with anxiety, but Im able to manage the panic attack much better, but on occasions they still get the better of me. Ive started going out more, but have completely stopped drinking alcohol, as this just makes my thought patterns worse. Ive started having weird thoughts, especially about people drugging my drinks, I dont know where this has come from
A fear I have had since I was young, is being attacked by people in my surrounding, this is a real problem in busy bars or outdoor events. Im working on this one, but this is the biggy for me. The last one I have developed more recently, is I cant take tablets of any kind, as I fear I will have a reaction, that will provoke a panic attack that will last a long time
So to finish off, I have made a lot of steps and on the road to recovery, but I think this is going to be a long journey
xx
Dom
Where do I start?? About 2years ago, Id been out for a really nice meal with a few freinds, which included my normal bottle of red wine, so was feeling nicely chilled out and relaxed.... On the way home we called into another friends house for a coffee and out of no where, I had my first, extremely frightening panic attack... The symptoms were terrifying and at the time I truely believed I was going to die... My heart was racing fast, couldnt breath and couldnt concentrate on any of my surrounding.. The only thing I knew was, I needed to get home quick, as I would rather die somewhere familar!!!
For the next two weeks, I experiences several attacks, to the point where I was scared to go to bed and most nights feel asleep on the sofa watching telly vision. I was convinced I had a several health problem, but was too scared to go to the doctors, in the fear that I was right and my time on earth was coming to an end
I had talked it through with a close freind, and one day she gave me a clipping from a magazine on Panic Attacks. Reading the article, I could have cried, I realised at this point this is what I had been suffering with. On the one hand I was relieved and on the other disappointed I hadnt got something more seriously wrong. Strange statement you might think, but a medical condition is diagnosed, treated and you can fight it.... mental health is a lot more complex and ongoing and I wasnt sure I had it in me to put up the fight!!
Well several months past and my behaviour changed day by day. I went from a person that really enjoyed holidays, socialising, dinner parties, meeting up with friends for drinks and meals.... to someone that only left the house to go to work!!! Every social occasions ended in me leaving earlier, or calling off at the last minute, I couldnt even feel comfortable around close friends and family. The final straw was last November, when a life long dream of visiting New York, was ruined by continual panic attacks including several on the flight home, which was the most terrifying thing I had experienced. Trapped in a lump of metal, 30,000 feet in air and no way of getting off for another 6hours
I returned home and decided I needed to go to the doctors.... This was a waste of time, as all they wanted to do was get me onto medications... So I decided to sort it out myself. I researched for hour after hour on the net and learnt a lot of useful information. I discovered CBT and lucky for me, found the treatment was covered by my private health insurance through work
I finished the therapy about 2months ago and found it really helped. I was able to look into myself and discovered I have been suffered with high levels of anxiety all my life and have a very irrational way of thinking. I also think I have learnt these patterns of thinking from my childhood
Me now?? Im still suffering with anxiety, but Im able to manage the panic attack much better, but on occasions they still get the better of me. Ive started going out more, but have completely stopped drinking alcohol, as this just makes my thought patterns worse. Ive started having weird thoughts, especially about people drugging my drinks, I dont know where this has come from
A fear I have had since I was young, is being attacked by people in my surrounding, this is a real problem in busy bars or outdoor events. Im working on this one, but this is the biggy for me. The last one I have developed more recently, is I cant take tablets of any kind, as I fear I will have a reaction, that will provoke a panic attack that will last a long time
So to finish off, I have made a lot of steps and on the road to recovery, but I think this is going to be a long journey
xx
Dom