looby
28-06-05, 15:25
hello everyone,
I thought I'd best introduce myself. try not to fall asleep.
My name is Louise, and I am 25 (nearly 26) and I have suffered from depression on and off since I was 18.
When I had my first depression episode, I went to my GP. I told him how low I was feeling and his reply was "Oh well, never mind". I couldn't believe it.
I ended up confiding to my Mum who had suffered with depression and anxiety and she told me of a charity who can counsel people with a mental illness.
After a year of counselling, I managed to get through to the other side and felt so much better.
When I was 20, I met my now fiance, who lived 40 miles away. We fell in love etc etc, and he asked me to move in with him. I thought it would be perfect, but I didn't think how much moving to a strange place, without any close friends or family around me and I would have to relocate for my job.
It finally hit me when I was 22 and we went on holiday together. I had had bad times in work, and felt I couldn't trust people, so I cut myself off from seeing people from work socially. I had my first anxiety attack on this holiday, and i didn't know how on earth i was going to cope on the plane home, when i couldn't even get in a taxi to my apartment.
Somehow I managed it, but I ended up pinching myself all the way home to stop me from thinking about my anxiety. I still to this day pinch and hurt myself (not cut) to try and take my mind from the anxiety. I have never told anyone this, not even my counsellor or GP.
I went to see a doctor about my anxiety, but she prescribed me with propanol, and when I was younger, I had asthma, so these tablets kicked my asthma off again.
I went to see another GP, who I still se now, who has been brilliant, and without her I don't think I could have got through it all. After a few attempts, she has found the right medication for me.
A couple of months ago, my sister had quite a serious health scare, and I hoped and prayed, and even said to my fiance, that I wished it was me who wasn't well and not her, because of all the s*** I had been through, one more thing wouldn't matter. I didn't think that me saying this would affect my fiance, but it did.
The health scare was over, as she had all test done and thankfully they all came back negative.
I was still stressed out with what had happened and other things that were going on, so I had to go and see my GP again, as I wasn't sleeping. My GP reduced my paroxetine and increased my dothiepien, but it didn't help. I got more and more agitated as the days went on, so I went back again. ( I hope you are all still awake!!!) My GP had to increase my paroxetine again, and fingers crossed, it appears to be working.
I still have anxiety attacks now and again, and I am stressing myself out about my friend's wedding in a couple of weeks, and I know it is going to be hard, but I think, sorry no I KNOW I will be able to get through it.
I am still seeing my counsellor and my GP regularly. It does take time, but I know I will get there in the end, and if I can get there, so can anybody, unfortunately it takes time.
Sorry for boring you all to tears ;)
Louise
xxxx
I thought I'd best introduce myself. try not to fall asleep.
My name is Louise, and I am 25 (nearly 26) and I have suffered from depression on and off since I was 18.
When I had my first depression episode, I went to my GP. I told him how low I was feeling and his reply was "Oh well, never mind". I couldn't believe it.
I ended up confiding to my Mum who had suffered with depression and anxiety and she told me of a charity who can counsel people with a mental illness.
After a year of counselling, I managed to get through to the other side and felt so much better.
When I was 20, I met my now fiance, who lived 40 miles away. We fell in love etc etc, and he asked me to move in with him. I thought it would be perfect, but I didn't think how much moving to a strange place, without any close friends or family around me and I would have to relocate for my job.
It finally hit me when I was 22 and we went on holiday together. I had had bad times in work, and felt I couldn't trust people, so I cut myself off from seeing people from work socially. I had my first anxiety attack on this holiday, and i didn't know how on earth i was going to cope on the plane home, when i couldn't even get in a taxi to my apartment.
Somehow I managed it, but I ended up pinching myself all the way home to stop me from thinking about my anxiety. I still to this day pinch and hurt myself (not cut) to try and take my mind from the anxiety. I have never told anyone this, not even my counsellor or GP.
I went to see a doctor about my anxiety, but she prescribed me with propanol, and when I was younger, I had asthma, so these tablets kicked my asthma off again.
I went to see another GP, who I still se now, who has been brilliant, and without her I don't think I could have got through it all. After a few attempts, she has found the right medication for me.
A couple of months ago, my sister had quite a serious health scare, and I hoped and prayed, and even said to my fiance, that I wished it was me who wasn't well and not her, because of all the s*** I had been through, one more thing wouldn't matter. I didn't think that me saying this would affect my fiance, but it did.
The health scare was over, as she had all test done and thankfully they all came back negative.
I was still stressed out with what had happened and other things that were going on, so I had to go and see my GP again, as I wasn't sleeping. My GP reduced my paroxetine and increased my dothiepien, but it didn't help. I got more and more agitated as the days went on, so I went back again. ( I hope you are all still awake!!!) My GP had to increase my paroxetine again, and fingers crossed, it appears to be working.
I still have anxiety attacks now and again, and I am stressing myself out about my friend's wedding in a couple of weeks, and I know it is going to be hard, but I think, sorry no I KNOW I will be able to get through it.
I am still seeing my counsellor and my GP regularly. It does take time, but I know I will get there in the end, and if I can get there, so can anybody, unfortunately it takes time.
Sorry for boring you all to tears ;)
Louise
xxxx