How do your family cope with your anxiety?

[Nat84]

Hi all,

I'm new here.

I was just wondering, how do your families react to your anxiety problems?

Sometimes I feel like such a burden to my husband, I think one day he is just going to say 'I'm leaving'...

I'm sure I do his head in with my constant 'what ifs' or 'I have this ache..'

Problem is, he is the only person I can talk to about it. I only have one or two friends that I have confided in about my nerves. I'm scared to tell the others about my condidtion because, simply, I don't know how to word it without sounding crazy. It's so hard doing 7 hours a day in work and not being able to tell someone when I'm having an anxious moment or panicking.

Anyone have any similar experiences?

Thanks

Nat xx

[Joeycrazycat]

My family has always been very supportive: they motivate me to keep on doing things, such as shopping, exercise, going out, etc... And because they are so good to me, I always make a extra effort to face my fears.

Also, I've decided to come out with my issues with all my colleagues at work; since, I found out that a lot of them suffer from different degrees of anxiety or depression. And I was very surprised to see that most have been very supportive, including my boss. So at least, everybody knows now, and it's taken a huge load of my mind.

[shortstuff]

I agree with Joey - I was astounded how supportive all of my work colleagues have been. I too made the decision to be open about my condition some time ago which took a great deal of pressure off me. If I'm on a bad run, I don't have to contend with an array of concerned looks, paranoia about people looking at me, and better still, I can rely on quite a few of my colleagues to know what to do.

Unfortunately, I live quite a distance from my family and live on my own. This means that I haven't got that immediate support network. However, my friends are great. I, like yourself, am constantly convinced that they muct be sick of me and ready to run. They, on the other hand, remind me that I would stick by them and offer support and that I still do as a good friend when they are in need. I think the problem is more mine than theirs - I am so used to being the strong, supportive one that I am not used to needing or accepting help.

Good luck Nat

Nic

x x

[andie73]

Hi

I too agree with Joey and Nic. I found it hard at first to tell people at work, so I started by telling the people I work closest too. You WILL be surprised if you do just how many people suffer from anxiety too. I can now tell anyone at work, it just doesn't bother me. If they think I'm a nutter then I feel sorry for them as they have a narrow view of the world and the people that live in it.

Honestly don't be scared to open up, you have NOTHING to be ashamed of. And I would bet money on the fact you will be taken a back by most of the responses.

It really helps once you do this as it makes life at work a lot less daunting cos you are no longer on your own with this.

[MikeyT]

I agree with the other replies, my family have been supportive, other members don't quite understand the why, but who does.
The only time I come into trouble is with my partner when I beat myself up, which she find frustrating etc.
Mike

[Lweb10290]

My family thinks that i am striving for attention , but when they realize that there 18 year old daughter was not leaving the house they then somewhat accepted it. My boyfriend is frustrated also and i've learned to accept that if no one wants to help me overcome my anxiety and attacks that there not the people i thought they were.

[eljay]

I know exactly how you feel, ive been like this all our married life and some so thats over 18 years, I honestly dont know how he puts up with me but he does, he is always telling me he loves me bless him, I worry that he doesnt take much notice when i fret over something though, he just thinks its "me" so then I worry that maybe it isnt, frankly im fed up of it, over the last couple of months ive even thought that if something was wrong and it was curtains for me then it would be a relief, id be gone and no more worrying for me or hubby having to put up with me, im sure I wouldnt really feel like that but I do sometimes wonder.
So to answer you YES I do wonder how he copes with me.

An example of 2 mins ago as I was writing this, we were talking about Christmas presents, we agreed we wouldnt buy each other one as we dont need anything and id like to get him a laptop in the sales, I asked him to swear on my life he hadnt got me anything [its not something I normally say] I then said, "you may as well im always dying anyway" so he said "no change there then" and laughed, that made me laugh and thats the way we try to go, doesnt work very often mind but I love him to bits for loving me.
your hubby may feel the same, he loves you, but I do know how you feel x x

[Panic08]

At first it was difficult because i didn't know what was going on, i became agoraphobic at 19 and my mum tried to make me go to the supermarket we had this massive showdown in the kitchen, basically because she just didn't understand, i think they though i was doing it for attention or something, but once they came to the doctors with me and i got a diagnosis they have been really supportive, trying to help me get better and using their days of to take me to appointments

[Meewah]

Hey

I am the husband, it is my wife that is having to deal with me. As a closed male that does not talk all she sees is my quiet days or days when I am easily agitated or touchy. I try to put on a brave face for my family but it is hard being a male as I am meant to be the strong one. The shoulder to cry on!! I have to say I can do all my talking on hear.

Mee

[dawn rose]

my husband is fantastic with me when im having bad days orpanicky times i couldnt cope without him.

[Cherbear]

My mum and my boyfriend are very supportive but I just feel guilty all the time for burdening them. Thankfully they are very understanding and always there to help me out, doesn't stop me feeling bad though:weep: xx

[Franz]

My parents worry about me a lot, and I've tried to stop unloading on them because I feel guilty (although I cave in sometimes).

When my parents know I'm in a bad way, they phone less, because they can't cope with the worry. They care deeply about me but... as I say, they just can't cope. They're anxious people themselves.

They also live 4 hours away.

So, often, I feel very much alone with my problems. I have a few friends locally but I don't really feel comfortable confiding in them.

[Franz]

Hi

I too agree with Joey and Nic. I found it hard at first to tell people at work, so I started by telling the people I work closest too. You WILL be surprised if you do just how many people suffer from anxiety too. I can now tell anyone at work, it just doesn't bother me. If they think I'm a nutter then I feel sorry for them as they have a narrow view of the world and the people that live in it.

I've told a couple of people at work about my social phobia and they have been pretty supportive. Sometimes it seems to make things worse though. I told the guy who sat next to me and although he was nice about it, I felt even more uncomfortable afterwards because I worried he was looking for signs of me feeling uncomfortable :\

[BNCfan]

Haven't had any family for 33 years and have had to cope with my anxiety and depression on my own. At this time of year - especially as my father died on New Year's Eve when I was nine - I find it desperately hard. It's good to know so many of you do have support, but I can't even begin to imagine what that's like.

[Meewah]

Haven't had any family for 33 years and have had to cope with my anxiety and depression on my own. At this time of year - especially as my father died on New Year's Eve when I was nine - I find it desperately hard. It's good to know so many of you do have support, but I can't even begin to imagine what that's like.

BNCfan - You have us. I have found this forum to be my larger family. It does not judge and is always here with wealth of experience. How many family members have the experience of us. If you need to talk just PM me anytime. Also try hoursesmouth.co.uk it is a mentouring website where you can get one to one help with a mentor.

Take Care.

Mee & Them.

[BNCfan]

Thanks Meewah, don't really know how I'm going to get through this Christmas/New Year thing this year. It's never been easy, but have been experiencing extreme anxiety and depression since August - I've battled with anxiety since I was a kid - 55 years in all - but these last few months it's moved into a whole new hemisphere and I can't handle it. Psychiatrist has prescribed Effexor, but the possible side effects are so frightening I daren't take it, especially as I'm alone and previously when trying antidepressants they - SSRIs in particular - (I know Effexor is an SNRI) have always made me feel suicidal as well as physically awful. Gastric symptoms are often triggers for my anxiety attacks as all my mother's side of the family died of one kind of stomach cancer or another and the psychiatrist told me that most side-effects of Effexor are gastro-intestinal. Don't know why he prescribed them, he knows how afraid I am and that I'm alone and that SSRIs have made me suicidal. Sometimes, the way they treat us (anxiety sufferers) I think the Mental Health Services hope we will do ourselves in. Thanks again for your kind post.

[Meewah]

Thanks Meewah, don't really know how I'm going to get through this Christmas/New Year thing this year. It's never been easy, but have been experiencing extreme anxiety and depression since August - I've battled with anxiety since I was a kid - 55 years in all - but these last few months it's moved into a whole new hemisphere and I can't handle it. Psychiatrist has prescribed Effexor, but the possible side effects are so frightening I daren't take it, especially as I'm alone and previously when trying antidepressants they - SSRIs in particular - (I know Effexor is an SNRI) have always made me feel suicidal as well as physically awful. Gastric symptoms are often triggers for my anxiety attacks as all my mother's side of the family died of one kind of stomach cancer or another and the psychiatrist told me that most side-effects of Effexor are gastro-intestinal. Don't know why he prescribed them, he knows how afraid I am and that I'm alone and that SSRIs have made me suicidal. Sometimes, the way they treat us (anxiety sufferers) I think the Mental Health Services hope we will do ourselves in. Thanks again for your kind post.

BNCFan. Dont forget it only becomes worse if you let it. It is like a little devil on my shoulder the more I let it have its way and listen to it the worse it gets. Are you in any support groups? I would start trying to build a network of support, Why not church or I am a Buddhist and go weekly to a Buddhist centre and meet fellow Buddhists with the same beliefs. I find there is a lot of get togethers and social events to go to. Again if you need to talk just PM.
I hope by the time you read this post you will be coping with Xmas. If you know that most people are suffering at Xmas and it is not the experience the media let us believe it is. Lots of rushing around buying tring to live the dream, the only problem is the dream does not exsist it has been drempt up by the Victorians to help boost jobs.

Mee

[Sherboha]

My mum is the only one who actually knows about it. She tries to force me into situations as she believes that will 'cure' me...it doesn't :-(