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clickaway
28-06-05, 17:40
Hi all,

My life at the moment seems to be like a row of London Buses in Oxford Street – looks like they may be overheating and I’m trying to avoid calling the mechanic out. But the street seems to be plagued by roadworks. Read On!

Two or three months ago I just had one highlight a week – a visit to my psychotherapist. I was really low then and could not do very much. I have got a lot better since then although I’m still having blips and at the moment I’m quite vulnerable to going down, but that’s hardly surprising.

During the current 21 day period, I’ve only had about five days where I have not had some kind of firm ‘appointment’, so this has been good for my socialising and getting some kind of structure going. During this period I’ve been to Belgium (4 days), attending farewell’s at my old workplace (3), seeing therapists (3), dinner with friends (2), working in shop (2) and meeting Dad (1). I’ve even had to turn down a trip to Lincolnshire on Friday as its clashing with a meal with an internet friend from the USA!

This is all very well, but I have other things going on in the background which are not helping. My mum is now very frail and on my last visit to see her, she spent the whole time asleep - I think I’m starting to grieve for her already.

Then there is my house and my road. My curtain rail fell down and I needed it re-fixed. As I also needed the kitchen ceiling repaired, I called in a retired master builder who does ‘odd-jobs’. What seems to be a relatively easy job for many turned out to be a prolonged saga – after two months my curtain rail has failed twice – my builder even broke a couple of ribs in between visits! It is still not fixed and this 'little' thing is really bugging me.

As for my street, well they’ve been renewing the gas mains for six weeks and its been like living on a building site – they’ve now migrated to the roundabout at the top of my road so the mayhem is still there.

Whilst digging the holes, the gas guys managed to cut off my electricity and of course at one stage the gas too. When they turned the gas back on, my boiler didn’t work and so had to get that repaired!

Then lo and behold I looked out of my front window yesterday and saw water gushing out of the pavement and flowing down the road – yes, the water main had collapsed! I was chatting to some neighbours who said “Well, you have a telegraph pole right outside your house, so watch out!”

Well, ironically enough, there was a BT engineer on top of that pole this morning, but fingers crossed I think the lines are still intact!

So Thursday, I eventually have my farewell presentation at work – I officially left in January after prolonged sick leave. I’ve been there 34 years and am going this week ‘under cover’ of two other colleagues – it makes me feel more comfortable than had I have to be there on my own.

So its no wonder I’m a bit shakey at the moment – but fortunately I can laugh some of this off.

Have you read up to here? Oh well done you – you are very patient!

Take Care,


Ray



Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker

Meg
28-06-05, 17:55
Ray,

How wonderful that you are recognising overload and are taking steps to deal with it even off loading does help.

Also, how fabulous that you have been managing and even enjoying most of these activities ! That's proof in itself.

However the Mum situation is sad and won't get any better so good that you're starting to alter your perspective on how you might find her over the coming months.

All the things you're struggling with are those you have limited or no control over - BT, water etc so it makes those ones even more infuriating .

Glad you're sounding cheeful and are doing ok . Keep it manageable and you know what to do if it starts to overwhelm you .








Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

carlin
28-06-05, 18:47
Hi Ray,
gosh it took my breathe away reading that lot! as you say no wonder you are feeling 'stressed', anyone would feel the same! it is very unsettling when their are any major works going on in and around your home, i had that recently and was constantly moaning at everyone, as if it was their fault, it's the change in routine and structure of my day i can't stand. early morning calls, cups of tea, work not completed correctly or on time, the list is endless. As for mum, i so really understand how you feel it is an awful time seeing our parent so frail and ill, i had this with my dad, the one who was always so strong and looked after me, and then the tables turn and well, i don't mean to upset you further, spend as much time as you can with her, make her comfortable, and just 'love her' even if she sleeps, she knows you are there. hope the other things settle a little for you, take care mate and please keep in touch. xxxxxxxx

alexis
28-06-05, 18:50
Hi Ray, hope you are OK today.
gosh you have got loads on and inbetween that you need to go into pub and leave me a few drinks remember! And visit chat.
It is sad about your mum, as they get old and frail you remember the good times too more I think.I did with my dad in his illness so that was confusing my mind even more you may be different.
Youve had trouble with gas water and electric, things come in 3s so they are finished now.
Dont worry about your curtain rail, you have till winter to sort it, lol
i am sure you will enjoy your work "do" then you can concentrate on your charity shop work and get looking for THE BAKED BEAN JIGSAW.
Yes Ray I think you are entitled to feel shaky, take care, you know where I am if you want to talk, Ill go to pub and leave you a drink, Love Alexis,xx
PS I read to the end!!!!

Karen
28-06-05, 19:15
Hi Ray

You are doing so well to cope with all these events that have been happening and have made so much progress in recent months. It is natural to get stressed at things that are out of your control, but you are still managing to avoid letting them drag you back down. Well done.

It is also so good to hear that you are enjoying so many of these outings and activities you've been undertaking.

Sorry to hear about the sad situation with your Mum.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

kate
28-06-05, 19:22
Hi Ray,

Firstly, sorry to hear about what is happening with your mom.

Secondly, I think you are coping really well with all the things happening in your life right now.

Enjoy your farewell presentation on Thursday.

Love Kate x

kairen
28-06-05, 19:48
Hi Ray,

If these things had happened a year ago i dont think you would have taken them so well, so i suppose it shows how far you have come, its good that you can have a bit of a laugh about it as life is to serious as it is,

I know how hard it is with your mum, but she is comfortable and not in pain, and she has had a good life and 2 very caring sons to look after her, i know how hard it was with my grandad when he was so ill, so you have my every sympathy, and im here for you xxx

I'll put anohter drink behind the bar with alexis's looks like you'll be in the flower beds again LOL,

glad you seem to be getting some order in your life
and yr garden lol

you know where i am hun take care





kairen x

nomorepanic
30-06-05, 19:55
Ray

What a lot you have going on!!

Sorry about your mum - that must be really hard.

I hope all those niggling things get sorted soon and you feel brighter about it.

Here's a Stella and a hug mate
xxx

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"