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alexis
29-06-05, 02:29
I have got an unexpected event.
I have a funeral on Thursday of a close relative who has died suddenly. I know I have to go and I Know whatever happens I will not be able to leave the church early as before.
Really I am posting to get all your positive vibes and hints to help me through it, I have the usual things, blue tc, elastic bands etc. i just hope I can stay in the church.
take care all, love Alexis,x

Quirky
29-06-05, 08:11
Alexis,
Firstly I am so sorry to hear of your bereavement. I know how difficult funerals can be but you will get through it. I try and tell myself how bad other people are feeling with their grief etc and it helps me know I'm not the only one feeing awful, even if it's a different kind of awful. You'll be suprised what you can achieve if you have to. I'll be thinking of you on Thursday. Take care,
LJ

florence
29-06-05, 09:15
Hi Alexis

Sorry to hear about the bad news..
I hope you will be able to cope in the church..

All the best.
Florence.

**Don't believe everything you think .**

pinkscrumpy
29-06-05, 09:41
Sorry to hear about the bad news Alexis.

Will be thinking of you on Thursday.

This is a hard one to help with but I think you have all the angles covered with the elastic band etc. Thats what I would do

Take care


MANDIE XX

kairen
29-06-05, 10:15
Hi alexis,

dont wear a watch, and keep telling yr self how well yr doing and you only have a few minutes left, thing is you will have to be there for your mum so that in itself may take your mind off how you feel, i cant even say txt me through the service like we did at the christening,

If you do have to come outside im sure no one will mind, just take long slow breaths and ignore the little demon on yr shoulder you will be fine, im sure of it, anyway speak to you later xxxx

kairen x

clickaway
29-06-05, 12:08
Hi Alexis,

I had to go to funeral in February when I was absolute rock bottom - at a time when I could hardly get further than the corner shop but I did it.

I was advised by my occupational therapist to keep to a busy and strict schedule of distraction leading up to it, and it worked for me - try it and hope that it does it for you too.

I got myself together - and seemed OK on the surface. I stayed in one piece for most of the wake in the pub too. It was only my cousin's remark about health that sparked my jitters off, and even then I held those in so no-one except my brother noticed.

Your aunt wants you to be on top form tomorrow and so do I.

You can do it - be strong

Will be thinking of ya

Ray



Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker

clickaway
29-06-05, 13:16
....and I meant to add - do you have a small stock of diazapam for emergencies?

If so, take one tonight so you can have reasonable sleep - obviously you can't drive soon after taking one!

Take Care,

Ray



Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker

seh1980
29-06-05, 14:27
So sorry to hear the bad news Alexis. Putting the funeral in the back of your mind could be the wrong way to go about it. Try to think of yourself sitting in the church and feeling fine. This has worked for me before when I have been nervous about going somewhere..:D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

Meg
29-06-05, 15:18
Sorry to hear of your sudden loss Alexis..

Sit wherever feels best for you and know that if you really did need to leave you can.

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

pips
29-06-05, 17:25
I'm So sorry Alexis,

My thoughts are with you and I do hope you manage to get through it.

Take care,

Love PIP'S X X

Karen
29-06-05, 17:28
Sorry to hear of your loss Alexis.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

alexis
29-06-05, 17:34
Hi Guys, when I posted this early this morning I just wanted positive vibes, I didnt feel too bad about it but as the day has gone on I feel AWFUL, my heart is racing, my head feels like it is going to explode and i just feel as if I want to cry for the rest of my life.
I am so tired, so this does not help at all. I think my sleep pattern is getting worse as I get better.
I dont know what to do with myself, I dont know if i want to chat or go into chat room, I dont know if I want to try and relax or do what I usually do and keep on the go. I just dont know what to do.
Thanks for all your replies.I wish I did have diazepam on occassions like this when I need to be somewhere but no i dont and unfortunately rescue remedy does not do much for me.
I would normlly sit at the back and near the door like i do if I have to go in crowded rooms but I dont think I can here because of it being family.
There is no way I would feel right if I had to go out, I would feel it is disrespectful.
Thinking beyond church only leads me to thinking about the pub afterwards, I havent been in a pub for over a year. that I will prob miss though and not go.
Anyway sorry its a long reply, thanks again guys, I dont mean to be negative, Im just on a bad day, i think the feelings after the concert on Friday are still lurking at the back of my mind too. Take Care, love Alexis,xx

Quirky
29-06-05, 17:54
Hi Alexis,
I am thinking of you. It's hard this has come so soon after the concert.
Just try and rest/relax as much as you can. Maybe you can't sit at the back of the church but maybe try and be on the end of an aisle instead.
You will get through this and if you can't manage the pub don't worry it's the funeral that matters most. You've done really well in the last week with the concert, remember that.
take care,
LJ

alexis
29-06-05, 18:21
Thanks LJ yes, not really worried about the pub as I have partly accepted I cant go especially as it is the one where we had my dads.
I will sit near the end of a row. The church has lots of memories, both happy and sad but i have been thinking I will sit in church and if panic or feel bad I will try to think how many happy events have happened in there.
Eg I went to brownies and guides there, I got married there, I used to go to christmas midnight services etc, my granda did a lot of joinery, I must find something positive to help.
Thanks again love Alexis,x

bluesparkle
29-06-05, 18:43
hi alexis...
i just want to say i will also be thinking of you and sending as many positive vibes as i can...
i know this is difficult... but you will get through it...
im afraid i dont have any sound advice but we all understand how you must be feeling right now...
will be thinking of you tomorrow
take care and let us know how you get on
rach

Quirky
29-06-05, 22:28
Alexis,
You seem to have the right idea by thinking of all the positives and good times you've had in the church, well done.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, what time is the funeral?
Take care and let us know how you get on.
Love LJ x

nomorepanic
29-06-05, 22:36
Alexis

Can I send Piggy along to look after you?

We are all thinking of you and please try to do it cos I know that you will regret it if you don't.

I did 3 funerals in 3 years when I was really bad and I managed to do it cos I had to be there for Alex so I remained strong. It was not easy and I felt awful but I did it and so can you.

Big hug and will be thinking of you.
x

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

Quirky
30-06-05, 20:10
been thinking of you Alexis, hope today went ok
LJ

alexis
30-06-05, 22:56
Hi guys, thanks again, I went today , I wont bore you with all details but I was first out of church and struggled to stay in but I did,
I really dont feel good, Im so tired its unbelievable but I think this is the insomnia, and the fact that I have had 2 extremely mentally taxing things this week Iam going to bed now and if I wake at 2am then I do, but I am hoping tonight is the night I will catch up on all the missed sleep, thamks again, Love Alexis,xx

Meg
30-06-05, 23:00
Well done for doing what you needed to do ..

Sleep well xx

Quirky
01-07-05, 00:17
Well done Alexis. Must have been a very hard day for you, but you did it.
Love LJ

kairen
01-07-05, 09:14
well done, remember most of all you did it, no matter how you felt you got through it, :D:D:D

hope you were'nt late for work this morn,

speak later x x x

kairen x

clickaway
01-07-05, 12:14
Yes, you did well Alexis.

Hope you caught some good sleep last night, but remember you may well need a little time to recover.

Just make sure you take it easy in the run up to seeing Rod!

Take Care,

Ray



Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker

leo05
01-07-05, 14:52
sorry to hear your sad news feel like crying fro you just reading it

but glad you did it well done

keep strong stay positive thinking of you always

feel free talk contact me if you need to chat

take care

love leanne xxxx and a big hug

carlin
01-07-05, 20:47
You did real good Alexis xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

pinkscrumpy
02-07-05, 11:00
well done Alexis. So proud of you

Love

MANDIE XX

Karen
02-07-05, 13:52
Well done Alexis. You did what you had to in order to get through it.

Hope you've been sleeping better.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.