so down and not sure what to do ...but no panic!

[bluesparkle]

well i wasnt sure where to put this as its kind of a plea for help but in a strange way it is also a personal success story...
not sure where to start... and appolagise now as this may be a bit long winded ...
as some of you know i have been having problems with my son(15yrs)
yesterday he was accused of stealing some money from a `friends` house...
but it all seems a bit odd... as she has lots of kids too and her younger ones were caught spending money on way to school.. anyway...
this is an awful thing to admit but i am not 100% sure either way as to weather it was tom or not...but i checked him and his bag when he got in...nothing!!!(it was quite a substantial ammount not easily got rid of).
he says he didnt do it and even came to the police station with me this morning which im not sure he would have done if he was guilty...as he is not very brave at the best of times.
i asked the family concerned to contact the police ...last night they said they couldnt get an answer!!! and today she said they were busy...but they did have some record of it...but she has apparently said she doesnt want to persue it and has cancelled the report of theft but is telling me she has done no such thing...(confused... i know i am!) i was totally in agreement with her contacting them as i want to prove my sons innocense or get him the right help if he did do it... tom does some strange things when things in his life are not quite right...
i have retuned the money to the person concerned...obviously my money but with a note to say when this is sorted we will sort that bit out..think that was against my better judgement now but its done.
she accused tom straight away yesterday... i have been in touch with school who seem to be taking this quite seriously and have been quite nice to me... but in the mean time tom has recieved some disturbing texts so is scared to go into school tomorrow ... (he has been bullied in the past)
i think it has dawned on me that i may never be able to prove what has happened ... and i know the family will give us grief... and the boys will not be good to tom at school...
he seems fairly calm and ive been honest about everything to him... we are also waiting for a counsellor but that could take ages...
ok sorry about all that but i wanted to tell someone and ive just lost my closest mate as it was her ...and the way she spoke to me yesterday there was just no need...
does anyone know where i can get some extra help in what else i can do to help my son...?
oh and the success part (thats sounds awful at a time like this) but i havnt paniced yet... ive cried alot and shook from anger etc but no attack...
anyway thank you so much for letting me tell you on here...
rach

[seh1980]

What a horrible thing to have to go through Rach. Kids can do some silly things at times (whether or not it was your son). I'm not sure what to advise you to do or what help you could receive. Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you hun. I hope it all works out. :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[Meg]

Rach,

I'm so sorry .. The thing is, it will all come out eventually as the other kids will let it out sometime if it was them but that may not be for ages yet..

You've done everything you could do and more. Congratulations on dealing with it all so well.

I especially feel for you regarding your best friend - even if it does get resolved and Tom is innocent you wil have a bad taste about how she handled it..Think your response was much more sensible than how she handled the accusations.






Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[kairen]

Hi Rach,

It will come out in the end, but till then you have to take toms word,
i think she could have handled the situation a bit better seeing as she is your friend, maybe in a few days you could try and talk to her about it,

On the posistive side you have coped with it so well and to not get into a panic over it shows how far you have come, well done

do hope things work out theres nothing worse than a sour atmosphere,

hope to catch u soon LOL we keep missing each other

take care you know where i am



kairen x

[pips]

Hi Rach,

Sorry you have had to go through all that it's so unfair mate. Remember I am here if you need me.

Well done for coping so well.

Take care,

Love PIP'S X X

[bluesparkle]

thank you all so much for your kind words... i understand what you are saying that it will all come out in the end... i just wish it was sooner than later... this is a flippin nightmare...
to top it all its gold hill fair this week end and everybody is around town... its awful as i think everyone is looking and judging us... but i have to go again tomorrow as beth wants to go...
i am trying(and managing)to carry on as normal as possible as i have the others to think of... but not sure what to do now...
i have been coping quite well...or at least i think so... i have cried alot but have learnt from here that this is not a bad thing...
well anyway im posting as my `friend` concerned has asked me to go round later this eve... and i dont know what to do (how pathetic does that sound)
i dont want to gossip and put her down but she is quite a forceful person and stubborn too and wont budge once she thinks she is in the right...if i go i want to be able to say how i feel and what i think...
i have left it that i will let her know later... but i wondered what you all thought...
also if i do go then just walking through the door is going to be very hard and a big achievement if i do...
thank you all again for listening
rach

[andrew]

hi rach,

i would go. you might just slot back into being best mates, you might end up arguing.

good luck, deep breath. whatever does get said, try and stand your ground... tc andrew

[kairen]

Hi Rach,

hold your head up high you have done nothing wrong, i would deff, go. It will be interesting to see whta she says to you, stand your ground and speak as you feel, you have a right to defend your son and yourself,

good luck pet,

will catch u later xxxx

kairen x

[Meg]

Rach,

You are doing all the right things which includes considering whats best for you and the family ..

Hope it was ok.




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...