View Full Version : Is anyone else anxious ALL of the time?
Hi all,
This is an outpouring of everything I've been thinking today... I'm sorry if it brings anyone down... I need to get this out of me somehow... it is pretty dark and bleak but its the truth of how I feel right now and therefore needs expression.
As I'm writing this a part of myself is shouting at me; "stop questioning all the time, you have anxiety, just let it happen, stop being afraid, and it will pass!"
But I am really struggling again this week with the CONSTANT nature of my mental state of mind. Since waking up feeling anxious nearly 4 months ago, there has not been 1 second of 1 day when I have not had an "awareness" of my anxious / low mood. It is like something snapped and won't heal itself. I manage to sleep about 6 hours a night, and in sleep comes my only relief. I awake and immediately the thoughts and the anxiety comes, and that is it for the rest of the day. I try to just let it come, I try to think positively. Nothing works. Some hours are a little better than others, but it is always there. It dominates everything. It has taken away all of my joy in life, and I have a lot to be joyful for.
This is what hurts the most - the fact that my life is good and that I cannot see where this has come from. I have all these great things in my life and they are all out of my reach because of my state of mind. It is like seeing a beautiful diamond and every time you reach out to grab it, it moves a few inches away from you.
My symptoms have been distressing (entirely of the head variety - pressure in the head, full ears, prickly sensations on the brain). Last week I thought I had conquered them. They are back with a vengeance. It seems that most people get a variety of different symptoms, many around the heart and other parts of the body. Why do mine all feel like they are actually located inside my brain?
The other weird thing is that I just don't get panic attacks. Everyone else seems to get them. In the past I have had times when my anxiety has massively increased, but it wasn't really panic. I don't get the racing heart, sweats, palpitations. Why don't I get panic attacks but everyone else does? This site is called nomorepanic - I feel like I don't belong here...
Also, I'm not afraid of doing anything. I can go on planes, be on my own, drive my car, be around loads of people. Nothing seems to make me any less or any more comfortable in my head. There is no circumstance where I feel any better or any worse. Can you understand from that statement why I am questioning all this? I just don't seem to fit any "anxiety profile" - I don't seem to be like the rest of you.
I am trying so hard and doing so many things - psychotherapy, healthy eating, exercise 3 times a week, deep relaxation every single night, hypnosis CDs, supplements, books, challenging my negative thoughts, letting the anxiety and low mood come and trying not to judge it. I get up every day and I come to work. I come home in the evening and I try to engage properly with my wife and in my home life, but this wall is there - of this feeling in my head. It's like living in a nightmare.
I come on here to read people's messages probably too much, and I am afraid that I may now simply have become obsessed. Every thought, every action, even when I am distracted, is still shrouded with this "awareness" of anxiety - like seeing everything through a filter. The world and everything in it seems a little darker and a little more distant. I try to come back to the world but it won't come.
I have a great life. A good job, a caring, loving wife, enough money, good friends, good health. And then one day something snapped and every ounce of joy that I had was removed and my mind turned on me. I am really struggling today to see this as a beginning of a better way of being. I can only see it today as something unexplainable having broken in my brain, and that I must somehow (but how?) learn to feel like this for the rest of my life.
really sorry, but that had to come out somewhere,
Gareth
*** I think, therefore I'm anxious ***
Hi Gareth,
are you on any medication, i know a lot of people on here dont like to take it, but sometimes it just gives your brain time to relax, and help you find your feet, many time over the years i have suffered anxiety and panics and could never put it down to one thing, and i think maybe i tried to analyse things to much,
i have been fine now for about 6months with the odd bad day but i tell myself its just a bad day im doing fine and i will be ok tmrw, i still rely on this site for help and encouragement, it has helped me so much, just knowing that your understood and having someone to talk to about things is a great help,
i do hope things pick up for you soon, i know how hard it is when you have that black cloud hanging over
take care x
kairen x
hi Gareth,
There are quite a few people who suffer from anxiety but don't actually have panic attacks. In many cases, these poeple did have panic attacks at one time but have learnt how to deal with them and therefore no longer have them. So, in a way, you are very lucky because you seem to have skipped the worst bit!!
I once felt like you do. I spent 100% of my time feeling anxious and just couldn't shake these feelings off. However, it will get better after a while though it doesn't seem like that now. All you can do is try your best to keep calm and just tell yourself that it's just anxiety and it can't hurt you..
Sarah :D
"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal
Hi Gareth,
I'm like you to. I seem to live with a low anxiety most of the time and some days it does heighten.
Like you I don't seem to have any real trigger I can do most things also.
You do belong here though don't think that. we are here to help.
I think the thing you can do which might help you is to try and accept the anxiety not fight it and not think about it so much.
I try to do this as if you make to much of an issue out of the anxiety it feeds it more and you feel worse.
I know its hard and I still have anxious thoughts everyday for no real reason. I just try to push them away distract myself and try to move on. If it comes back again I tell myself ok so your back but tough i'm going to ignore you. Try to give it no real importance and the symptoms might ease for you.
I hope you feel better soon.
Take care,
Love PIP'S X X
Hi Gareth,
Anxiety and panic affects everyone very differently and how we react and make sense of these symptoms and feelings will also differ from person to person. One thing is for sure though, panic and anxiety does happen for no reason... although on the surface everything in your life seems to be fine but there will be something lurking deep down in your subconscious... Maybe you have been worrying about something, has your job been stressing you our but you havent realised... there are so many reasons for panic attacks and anxiety to start.
I do understand how you feel about the head symptoms as i suffer alot of these types of symptoms too along with the panic, palpitations, chest pains etc. I am assuming you have spoken to your GP about your symptoms? I have had lots of different head symptoms over the last few years and I too have worried that I have soemthing wrong with my brain but I have had a MRI scan and its normal and I still get lots of weird symptoms. There is nothing wrong with your brain other than anxiety/stress causing lots of weird symptoms.
As I said before anxiety presents itself in so many different ways but none of which are life threatening or doing any other damage other than preventing you having the calm and relaxed life you want or once had. I too agree that the hardest thing to conquer with anxiety is losing your fear of the symptoms and ACCEPTANCE of your anxiety. Somedays like you, I can stop myself worrying about the symptoms and have a fairly 'normal' day, then others I feel consumed by worry/fear of my symptoms and worry if I will live another day. I have suffered this for nearly 5 years and I am still here and lot better than I was when my panic attacks started.
Try and relax and not worry and always remeber we are here and know how you are feeling.
Take care
sadie
Hello Gareth,
I have felt this way too in the past - always anxious, but not neccessarily having panick attacks as such. I do know how frustrating it can be, at the time i felt like i was obsessed, as you have said too.
I guess i just wanted you to know that you are not alone, and that, with time, it will get better.
Hang in there
Donna x
You can undo this Gareth. Just takes time and a lot of patience.
Relaxation is an important part of it in my eyes, especially since you seem to be suffering from this constantly. Your anxiety levels are obviously very high and you need to rectify this. It helps to give your body time to relax.
If you're in such an anxious state all the time, then your body never fully relaxes, so you need to give it a little encouragement to let it do this.
It is a struggle, and if anything, anxiety is a pain in the a***! Just be patient, let it be, and don't get yourself more tense by worrying about how tense you are. There's loads of good info on here, and equppied with that alongside the willingness to practice the advice you'll receive here, you will get better.
mico
Gareth,
Sorry that you're having a really rough time this week ..I know thats it does feel so utterly desperate sometimes
**But I am really struggling again this week with the CONSTANT nature of my mental state of mind**
This is very usual that it is all consuming and takes ages to even see a chink of light.
**I have all these great things in my life and they are all out of my reach because of my state of mind**
The reality is that they are all within reach but because of how you're feeling , you are finding it too difficult to appreciate them in the present tense.
**Last week I thought I had conquered them. They are back with a vengeance** Its excellent and very encouraging to read this so it hasn't been constant every minute for 4 months -last week you had a bit of a reprieve and are having a blip this week. Even if you have seen just a chink know that it is there and wil return and be a bigger one this time.
You may still have an awareness but it not being so overwhelming is the key
Have you ever achieved freedom from your thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3184)
Strategies for coping (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2680)
I just give up! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2633)
worried to get better!?!? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3419)
home truths (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2398)
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
nomorepanic
29-06-05, 21:42
Gareth
Sorry you are having a bad time of things at the moment.
You say
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">The other weird thing is that I just don't get panic attacks. Everyone else seems to get them. In the past I have had times when my anxiety has massively increased, but it wasn't really panic. I don't get the racing heart, sweats, palpitations. Why don't I get panic attacks but everyone else does? This site is called nomorepanic - I feel like I don't belong here...</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
I am pleased that you don't get them as well cos they are horrid. However anxiety is just as bad - I haven't had a panic attack this year as far as I can remember - I just get very anxious.
You are more than welcome here as is everyone. You can suffer from anything atall but if you can relate to anyone else in here then you belong. Please stick around and don't leave us now ok?
Hope you are feeling just a bit better now.
Nicola
"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"
Thanks so much everyone. It's really great to know you're all here for when I have a horrendous day like yesterday. I'm just starting to realise just how much that this site (if used correctly) is a life saver.
As I said its the constancy without any chinks of light that has been getting to me. But you've all reminded me that I have managed to make the physical symptoms recede for just over a week, so there is nothing to say that I won't be able to do the same again.
Next time I do so I will be able to work harder on the thoughts, and put the worst of this anxiety to bed for even longer. I am still committed to beating this thing and will carry on working hard. I have an enormous reservoir of strength somewhere inside of me, which constantly surprises me, but in darker moments it is harder to see it.
I am better today than I was yesterday, and knowing that there are people out there who have felt like me and managed to feel better is a real boost.
Thanks again,
Gareth
*** I think, therefore I'm anxious ***
Glad you're feeling better today Gareth,
It is a really crippling time when there is just no let up and you think as you feel bad still there are no chinks, but being able to control the physical symptoms as you did is actually a large chink..
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
hi im sorry to hear your not so good just now.when i first started having panic attacks which was three years ago now, for the first few months it was so bad, i kept totally freaking out thinking there was something realy wrong with me, but since then its nothing like that anymore and i think its because our body learns to accept it and deal with it better. it will get better and you know deep down that a panic attack cant hurt you in anyway. hope this helps.x.
dmcgovern
Hi Gareth,
I too suffer with almost constant anxiety which sometimes progresses into a full blown panic attack.
It is very, very draining to constantly be "on edge" and never be able to switch off and totally relax.
Hope today is a good one for you.
Love Kate x
psycho2000
02-07-05, 12:58
Hi Gareth,
Sorry to hear your having a nightmare right now. If it's any consolation to you, I myself not been having a very good week. I have found out, although I have relatively quickly managed to control my panic attacks ( i haven't had one since a long time now like 3 weeks I think), I have not been able to get rid of the anxiety feelings in my stomach, my chest, my belly etc lol. It's very unpleasant as as mico very correctly said, it's very difficult for the body to relax then.
One thing I can suggest is maybe try to up the exercise a bit, to make you tired when bedtime arrives so your body feels tired and can relax finally. Also, you can have a nice sleep then. Other than that, just keep with it as I'm sure the more you train yourself to ignore it, the quicker it will go.
The body is a strange thing. It's a bit like a computer if you asked me. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, something goes wrong. Then you have to search a lot to know what went wrong. Then install/uninstall (train, retrain) the appropriate stuff, and then finally things start working properly again :)
These days I've taken a fancy with hyperventilating for no reason ...i tell you it's a real pain lol...but I try not to think about it too much and also, to practice 7/11 breathing which I just learnt last night as a matter of fact, and it worked.
Anyway, if you wanna chat, drop me a PM :)
Take care,
Sam.
One day, one day I will beat u and that day, I will be free again, as I was before...
Sa,
You have done very well to master panic quickly and the residual symptoms wil also pass.
Blips happen but you learn from them.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
Hi Gareth
I was exactly the same as you. Going through life really happy. Had pretty much everything, nothing in my life to get me down. I was fit and healthy, used to go abroad twice a year. Had nice house, good job and good friends. Then one day something snapped in my mind. It was like I'd been pushed into a deep dark well and everything I'd enjoyed was out of reach at the top of it.
I too felt constantly anxious from the minute I woke up until the minute I went to sleep. I kept trying to do things that I know I enjoyed in the hope it would snap me out of it but nothing worked which made me even more distressed about it. I found it a huge struggle to carry on with normal life. I questioned it every minute of the day. Thinking how can I be happy and fit and healthy one minute then like a frightened, depressed quivering wreck the next.
I had panic attacks but I actually thought the anxiety was worse than those. I never had any physical symptoms but mine was all in the head too. Thinking I was cracking up and that I would be dragged off to some mental institution if I didn't pull myself together.
I started taking meds and eventually they helped and I managed to get back on track. It took a while and I had to be very patient but I gradually emerged from it. I was well for a couple of years after and came off the meds. But then I had a lot of stressful events in my life last year. None of them bad but just a build up over time. I knew I was heading for it again, I started with tension headaches and then I could feel that black cloud creeping back again. But this time I was prepared. I got straight to the doctors and went back on the meds. I know they are not the answer but they give you chance to get back on track. They take away the anxiety so that you can start getting yourself feeling better again.
I've started back at the gym and I eat healthily. I take supplements and I relax etc. It's been a struggle but knowing that I have beat it before gives me the strength to feel positive that I will beat it again. I'm still uneasy about going abroad but I managed it earlier this year.
Anyway, sorry for waffling on but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in how you are feeling and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Stick with it and keep up with everything you are doing.
This website is fantastic and has helped me no end so don't be afraid to ask anybody anything.
Take care
Emma x
existential crisis
04-07-05, 16:29
I'm new to this site but it seems that Gareth has saved me a job when it comes to explaining how I feel. What you said was EXACTLY how I feel myself. The hyper-awareness of your surroundings, the general feeling of anxiety that rarely culminates in a full-blown panic attack...I think you did a very good job of describing how a lot of people on here feel. Until I read your post, Gareth, I had convinced myself that I was on the cusp of falling into some psychotic disorder! It has been a massive help to me to see that someone feels the same as I do.
*I think, therefore I am.*
Welcome to the site - glad you've found something to help you so quickly..
Gareth liked this one that was written recently
The Battle that Rages in my Head (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4149)
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...
nomorepanic
04-07-05, 19:59
Hi Exist
Welcome aboard. Glad you can relate to Gareth's post and it helped you.
Nicola
"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"
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