getting the feeling i shouldnt be here

[jobear]

My Story:

Ive always been a worrier, but sinse the begining of this year anxietys been slowing trying to take over my life.. and sinse i had my baby 2 months ago it succeeded.
Ive tryed SO hard to ignore it but its just one thing after another, im sick of thinking im guna die on a dailey bases. im getting to the point were i think i want to. and people would be better off with out me. not like i would be missed, all i do is worry all the time and ive lost my sense of humor and im desroying my relationship and i cant take care of my baby properly.
whenever i seem to feel like im getting better something else will knock me back down. ive tryed and kept trying to not think of it all but something else will happen and my HA will kick in.
i also have low self esteem, which has got a hell of a lot worse and i feel like i cant even look at my self alf the time, i hate my body and everything about me.
i take round 13 tablets a day because i have high bp which they THINK i developed through pregnacy. it doesnt seem to be getting any better.. i have to take iron, ibs tabs, pill! and now this new one they give me yesterday which is for your kidneys. Im also sick of all the side effects cuz i dont know whats what anymore. Im ONLY 19 years old. and i feel like my lifes comming to an end, i dont wana go out or do anything because i think my bps guna go up and al have a heart attack/ stroke. i keep getting pains in my chest and arm and felt a bt breathless. so i went docs for my own peice of mind hoping theyd say its anxiety but no! there sending me the hospital for tests and doing another ECG and taking MORE bloods. she told me that the ECG isnt always right if you arent gettin the pains when you have it done then it doesnt always pic it up. which i didnt want to here as ive had a few, she told me if i get the pains again to ring an amblance, oh yeah great!
anyway, ive been crying my self to sleep most nights now, i can feel my self getting more depressed and down. ive just nothing left in me anymore i feel weak and tired and its finally just taken over.

[HeatherMc]

Have a word with your health visitor, how is your sleep with the baby, this sounds to me like post natal depression, don't be worried about this it can be treated, you are up the wall with the hormones after having a baby are you getting enough help and support if anyone offers you help take it, get as much rest as you can make sure you are eating properly and don't be worrying about your body no ones body goes back to normal quickly after having a baby even though the celebreties seem to (they don't live in the real world)

Can you talk to your mum, friends, sisters partner.

Heather

[lorac]

Hi

It does sound to me like you may have post natal depression and you should talk to your Health Visitor about how you feel and the worries that you have. She may be able to put your mind at rest or get you some help. Your hormones are all over the place at the moment and having a new baby is not easy, our lives get turned upside down and we are so tired whilst trying to keep up with everything. Try and get as much rest as you can. As for hating your body, I think that is natural, especially after having a baby. I hope things improve for you soon and keep posting we are always here to offer advice and support.

Take care

Carol

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Jobear,

Congratulations on your new baby! I also think you could be suffering from post natal depression. Even new mothers without post natal blues are exhausted and have no time for themselves. You are having to readjust your whole live and it takes time to get used to it, plus you have your hormones readjusting too. In your case, you also have physical issues that you are dealing with so that is also another load on your shoulders. You must get some assistance immediately. Tell your doctor how you are feeling emotionally. If you need additional medication right now take it. Believe me it would be better than feeling worse. Your doctor will know the correct thing to do. When you get someone you trust to take care of the baby for awhile go out and get a break. A must for a new mother. Rest, rest and more rest if you can manage it too. Having a newborn can be quite overwhelming and with medical issues it is no wonder you are depressed. Please tell someone how you are feeling and get some medical help, you are your baby are worth it. Do take care.

Laura xxx