NatteAsbak
02-01-09, 16:42
Hello.
First of all, I would like to thank you all for this site and for the opportunity to share my feelings with people, who know what I'm going through. This is a lifesaver!
When I was 10 years old, I was diagnosed with severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, though my psychologist told me, that it was probably an Anxiety Disorder, that manifested itself through OCD. I was treated with Citalopram and was okay again, after about a three weeks of treatment.
Two months ago, I was stupid enough to smoke cannabis. After a REALLY bad trip, I had extreme panic attacks, a feeling of floating out of space, hopelessness and an altered sense of reality. I felt lost, depressed and was afraid, that I was going crazy. I sought medical care and was given Benzodiazepine and more Citalopram, which helped me cope with the anxiety and sudden panick attacks. The doctor told me, that the cannabis had "awoken" the Anxiety Disorder and that I wasn't going psychotic, which helped me alot.
It's been two months now and I have this very strange feeling. It's as if I am walking around in a dream world, with no emotional attachments to the environment - as if I'm there, but not really there. It's as if I'm watching my own life, but not really living it. The world seems strange, distant and with no real coloring, so to speak. It's very disturbing and I keep thinking, that there's something really wrong with me: Like, "I'm loosing my mind/going insane", "something in my brain is broken" or "I have a tumor" etc. When I look in the mirrow, I can see myself, but I don't feel myself standing in front of the mirror. Also, when I close my eyes, I feel myself drifting away - I'm afraid, that when I go to sleep, I won't wake up again. I have sudden blood-rushes to the head, which makes me very dizzy.
After doing some study, I came across "derealization", which sounds very much like the way I'm feeling. I've read some of your posts and it's calmed me down a bit, since alot of you seem to have felt the same way I do, at some point. I would just, for my own sake, like to know if what I'm experiencing sounds like derealization and if so, how you guys came over it?
Any help is greatly appreciated!
Love
Jarl, 18 years old.
First of all, I would like to thank you all for this site and for the opportunity to share my feelings with people, who know what I'm going through. This is a lifesaver!
When I was 10 years old, I was diagnosed with severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, though my psychologist told me, that it was probably an Anxiety Disorder, that manifested itself through OCD. I was treated with Citalopram and was okay again, after about a three weeks of treatment.
Two months ago, I was stupid enough to smoke cannabis. After a REALLY bad trip, I had extreme panic attacks, a feeling of floating out of space, hopelessness and an altered sense of reality. I felt lost, depressed and was afraid, that I was going crazy. I sought medical care and was given Benzodiazepine and more Citalopram, which helped me cope with the anxiety and sudden panick attacks. The doctor told me, that the cannabis had "awoken" the Anxiety Disorder and that I wasn't going psychotic, which helped me alot.
It's been two months now and I have this very strange feeling. It's as if I am walking around in a dream world, with no emotional attachments to the environment - as if I'm there, but not really there. It's as if I'm watching my own life, but not really living it. The world seems strange, distant and with no real coloring, so to speak. It's very disturbing and I keep thinking, that there's something really wrong with me: Like, "I'm loosing my mind/going insane", "something in my brain is broken" or "I have a tumor" etc. When I look in the mirrow, I can see myself, but I don't feel myself standing in front of the mirror. Also, when I close my eyes, I feel myself drifting away - I'm afraid, that when I go to sleep, I won't wake up again. I have sudden blood-rushes to the head, which makes me very dizzy.
After doing some study, I came across "derealization", which sounds very much like the way I'm feeling. I've read some of your posts and it's calmed me down a bit, since alot of you seem to have felt the same way I do, at some point. I would just, for my own sake, like to know if what I'm experiencing sounds like derealization and if so, how you guys came over it?
Any help is greatly appreciated!
Love
Jarl, 18 years old.