That's it, I've had enough!!!!

[rocklover]

I posted the other day about extreme anxiety and PAs before going to my boyfriend's house. Well tonight it just got too much, broke down on my Mum and had to text him to say I couldn't make it.

I have to be honest with him and tell him what's up. I am so ashamed that at 34 years old, I can't even get myself together to enjoy visiting my boyfriend, I'm so scared of what he will say when I tell him how bad things have really got for me. I have been crying and crying and I still am, I just can't cope anymore. When will all this bloody well end? I feel like my life is over.

[Notator]

Have "THAT" conversation with ya fella as soon as you can... If you're down about it can't be any worse - you never know, it may clear the air and start to makes things better.

Nothing to be ashamed about by the way, you're ill - you wouldn't be ashamed if you couldnt make it because you had flu, or a broken leg.. just because you're panic is in your head doenst make it any less real or anything to be embarrassed about. Its just the way things are (just at the moment) and I hope they will start to get better soon for ya!

[feels_like_home]

I think being honest with the right people can help us to feel a little bit better. If someone can understand even some of what you are going through it might take the pressure off you. I think you are very brave for being honest about how you feel.
Take care.
Michelle

[missacorah]

I agree with the posters above. You didnt ask for this anxiety to come to you - you have nothing to be ashamed of. Even if your boyfriend doesnt fully understand at first how this thing can take hold of you, I'm sure your honesty will be totally appreciated.

[rocklover]

I am talking to him now, via msn. It's making me cry as I type it.

[lesleya]

Aw hun i really feel for you its so distressing isnt it, but im sure your boyfriend will understand. I know its hard for people who have never experienced a panic attack to know how your feeling, but if your honest with him and tell him..its better than him maybe thinking the worst that maybe you dont want to see.
I hope it all turns out right for you and maybe it may a turning point for you by sharing it with him like (feels_like_home) said earlier it will take the pressure off you and maybe in turn will help you relax a little more.
Let us know how it goes hun.
Take care and good luck.
xx

[rocklover]

Well, I thought I would update. Boyfriend was very nice to me, I admitted that I had not been telling him how bad I have really been recently. I don't think that he understands completely, but then I wouldn't expect him to, but it's a relief to have it out in the open.

However, this morning I feel lousy, my eyes have been watering all night so they are swollen this morning, I didn't sleep well and I feel very sick and shaky. I have the horrible on edge feeling that a panic is imminent. Does anyone else feel ill/anxious in between PAs or do you generally feel ok most of the time?