Panic/anxiety with not understanding parents?

[CABelieve13]

well i shouldnt say that. My dad is very understanding. He knows just what to say, and no, he doesnt baby me when i am having a panic attack. Sorry, thats what my mom says.

My mom on the other hand, she just.....ugh.
My relationship with my mom has become strained because of my anxiety. She would get so frusterated when i was have my anxiety attacks, but instead of trying to calm me down, she screamed at me for hours until i basically stopped thinking about how i felt, and just how much i disliked her.

Now i dont tell her anything. My anxiety attacks are off how i feel (as in health wise). Im so afraid of being sick, i can even create an illness when i am nervous from having to go to school, a test, or whatever. so if i feel sick, and cant stop thinking about it, and go into anxiety attack, i go straight to my dad. I dont want to have her yelling at me. But of course my dad tells my mom and she calls me up and basically says get over yourself.


She has said some very hurtful things while im having a panic/anxiety attacks.

I have really bad emetrophobia, and i remember that when i had my worst panic attacks a couple years ago, she used to threaten my by saying "Ill go get the medicene that will make you throw up so you can get it done and over with" trying to threaten me so i would stop having my panic/anxiety attack.

Does anyone else have this problem? What am i supposed to do? Do i talk to her when im anxious, even though i know im just going to get scolded? help please.

[Nechtan]

I don't have this problem but I can understand it though do not condone it. It is incredibly hard for anyone to appreciate the terror you are experience unless they have experienced it themselves. By nature everyones understanding is varied. To be honest I would probably be alot like your mum if I had not experienced panic as previously I was very intolerant of people who had an illness I could not see.

On the other hand though there are people who should not need to know how terrified you are like your parents. As a father myself I could not bear it if one of my children was in distress and would want to comfort them regardless of whether I could understand it or not.

Maybe you to get someone who can talk to your mum about your condition and explain it to her. Also would it help if you could give her something to read?

All the best

Nechtan

[orangeblossom]

There was a really good thread on here about a month ago - not sure if you remember it - it was from a parent of a teenage child who had started having awful panic attacks around the time of her GCSEs. He was basically asking for any advice on how to help her deal with the anxiety/panic from people who had experienced it, because he and his wife never had, and they wanted to understand a bit more about it.

It was a fantastic thread and I'd recommend perhaps showing it to your Mother to read...?

[Eva May]

Oh my god CA I'm really sorry (and angry) to hear that. Can your dad not talk to her, get her to leave you alone if she refuses to try and support you? Or is there a counsellor in school you could talk to? You can't let things continue like this, you are under enough stress as it is without having to factor her into it as well. Sorry, I don't mean to talk badly about your mother but that kind of thing, that bullying behaviour makes me furious. Let us know how you get on

[stellabella]

I really feel for you, that's a horrible way for her to treat you. I live with my dad and he doesn't understand at all, when I can't make it to work because of my anxiety he puts it down to laziness and he doesn't understand why I get anxious or am depressed. He's a logical person, needs a straight forward answer and needs a reason for everything.

Hope everything goes ok for you :hugs:

[CABelieve13]

its been like that for years. i just avoid it now by not telling her anything. not the best but not too much i can do