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peterg
02-07-05, 16:19
Hi everyone, I'm Peter.

I was suffering from a great deal of work related stress this time last year after the retirement of an employee and poor performance of another. I had to pick up the work of the retiree as I was told he would not be replaced and I had already picked up significant amounts from the other employee.
Prior to this I had experienced 3 bereavements in 15 months, two of which I had to make the arrangements for and deal with the small estates. I have a 3 year old and a one year old.

This all culminated in me being carted off in an ambulance from work in September 04. My speech had gone, I could not tell a colleague the number to call to let family know, breathing affected, tight chest.....yes you've guessed...my first panic attack....paramedics not sure so I was taken to hospital for an ECG and discharged 3 hours later.

What followed over the following weeks and months could only be described as an absolute nightmare. I thought I was going mad, I was suffering extreme symptoms, I could not do basic DIY or even turn on a computer. I was signed off by the doctor for two weeks and then a further two weeks which then turned in to 4 weeks at a time.

I was put on to Cipramil within 4 weeks, despite my best efforts to avoid tablets. I started basic one to one counselling in November which still continues.

I started a phased return to work in January 05 following pressure from work and OH. It was good to get back to work but I was having problems with the symptoms associated with anxiety. I was short with people without realising this at the time and was continuing a battle with my boss who would not accept work related stress as a reason for being off. This in hindsight had a detrimental effect on my health and I was put on Lustral (sertraline) at the beginning of March and treated for depression.

I have since May continued to recover and am now back at work full time. During June, i took back staff responsibility for one member of staff whilst working within restrictions.

Still feel I am having a battle for survival at work as the tight chest and clamped heart feeling and arm shakings and judders can be a bit debilitating. Mentally, my memory, particularly recall is poor and I have a tendency to go into a downward spiral if anyone annoys or irritates me.

I guess the next phase is to work around this and change the negative thoughts I keep getting. To help this I have worked my way through the Overcoming Anxiety cd set and rely heavily on the relaxation cd (particularly track 6 deep relaxation) when I go into a downward thought spiral.

I start CBT on 1st August...not quite sure what to expect, although I am convinced this will help me.

In summary, I am learning to cope with the symptoms of anxiety although I would dearly like to rid myself of them. I never avoid situations that cause me anxiety and believe this has helped me to make rapid progress over the last 10 months. I am now trying to deal with the constant fatigue, tight chests and general up and down nature of the condition. I would like to know if you ever do rid yourself completely of the symptoms or is this something we have to get used to and live with ?

Sorry this is so long and I really did start by trying to keep it brief....but have found this a useful exercise.

Does anyone now if anxiety disorders have been classed as a disability (per DDA) or perhaps a long term illness by the medical profession ?

Bye for now [Sigh...]

finny12000
02-07-05, 16:47
hi peter,ive never tried relaxation tapes before but i might give them a try as im open to anything.hopefully symptons will get better for our anxiety and im sure given time and help we will return to a somewhat normal less anxious time again.ive just started with a psychologist so will see how that goes,hope you have a good weekend ..kev

k finnigan

seh1980
02-07-05, 18:18
Welcome aboard Peter!! :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

jill
02-07-05, 18:23
Hi Peter

WELCOME TO THE SITE

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXXX

Meg
02-07-05, 19:47
Hello Peter ,

Welcome to the site and well done for progressing well this far. You've come along way especially when you're still experiencing abusive behaviour from your employment . have you kept a journal so you can see just how much you've improved ?

Yes, for your symptoms personal CBT will be better than general counselling which are probably not focusing in deeply enough on your interpretations of thoughts or symptoms which is the final frontier for you. If you want to post a bit more about those we can start you off ..

Why did you switch from Cipramil to Lustral ?

Glad you're enjoying Track 6 - it is very powerful.

You can totally her rid of it - not overnight but with time, effort and determination you can . A quieter life with a peaceful period would also help.

The constant fatigue will pass as you get stronger and buld yourself up again and has much to do with depression..

The tight chest is a common symptom and is mostly a result of tight and tense intercostal muscles, posture and stretching can help as well as relaxing.

Blips happen - learning to control anxiety by distraction is great and huge progress and within that you are also starting and managing well on interpreting negative thought and focussing on their meaning to you not just the thought- but may need more evidence this is working for you before you fully believe it and move on the next step.





Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

pinkscrumpy
02-07-05, 20:32
welcome Peter

Love

MANDIE XX

melanie
02-07-05, 21:11
Hi there Peter, crikey sound like you are doing really well good luck for the future! I have had cbt before and have just started a second course and it is hard work but i find it really effective,somehow i dont know how buut i suppose thats their job but they manage to get down to the whys and how of everything thats happened if you know what i mean.
I am on my second course of cbt as had a lot of bad things happen a few months back just incase you are wondering why the second lot of therapy.Feel free to email me or pm me about cbt or sertraline i will help if i can.
melanie

melanie

Mcched
03-07-05, 12:43
Hi Peter

Welcome aboard!!!!!

You'll find that this site is a welcome relief and that you don't have to fight it alone!!!

I too am trying to overcome work related anxiety and am unfortunately off work again.

The DDA does include both mental and physical disabilities, so your employer does have to sit down and listen to you and your requests!!!! Since October 04 they now have to ensure they do everything that will make you feel comfortable in your work environment. Examples od disabilities include diabetes, epilepsy, depression, anxiety, glaucoma, numerical blindness, dyslexia etc....... For more info see the link below;

http://www.disability.gov.uk/dda/

If you need any further info then feel free to pm me.

henri
03-07-05, 12:50
Hi peter,
welcome to the site! sounds like you've have a rough time of it.
CBT really worked for me - i had around 8 sessions and they really helped. but it's hard work, you have to be proactive and it takes time.
i don't know about anxiety being classed as a disability but i do know that if you give your employers a doctor's note (which you have done already) there is nothing they can do to stop you having time off work. i realise that some people have difficulty accepting issues relating to mental health but you should ignore any colleagues who have such an attitude. all that matters is you and your wellbeing.
as meg said, it is only a matter of time before you start feeling much better,
henri x

peterg
03-07-05, 14:20
Thanks everyone for your comments....a big help.

Meg, the switch from cipramil to lustral was as a result of a big set back at work in terms of the treatment I was receiving from managers. They really do not have the foggiest idea despite my best efforts to explain my situation.

I had been in denial that I was suffering from depression also. The medication switch also came with a change in (locum) doctor who wanted to see if I responded better to Lustral I guess ?

I kept a very detailed diary up until April. It was suggested during counselling to avoid totally focussing on the illness and symptoms and fully concentrate on my recovery and my reactions and thoughts. I am also trying to under-react to situations which I find particularly difficult (this may have been a suggestion from your Coping with anxiety course).

I found your cd set excellent and complimented the reading around the subject I was doing and also the weekly counselling.

Thank you everyone for your support and I hope this is available for everyone to read as I'm still getting used to working the forum.....

tonyd45
03-07-05, 14:23
HI Peter
Im also new and this seems like a good place to be,it sounds like you have had a very rough time of late and i wish you all the best.
I have also the symptoms you mentioned,the tight chest etc and it usually lasts all day and i feel like im fighting to get air in my chest.
You mentioned you have children,are you looking after them on your own?
It doesnt sound like you have had any time to grieve properly and we all need time to retreat from the world and lick our wounds and it sounds like you had to battle on regardless, i do hope your situation improves as regards work and im sure on top of what you are already doing you will find help and support here.

God Bless

Tony d

nomorepanic
03-07-05, 14:39
Hi peter

Welcome aboard the forum.

I am so pleased to hear that Meg's CDs are helping you. They really are very good.

I am glad that you are getting CBT very soon as that will be a big help to you as well.

Lovely to see you here and ask any questions you want to.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

Meg
03-07-05, 18:45
If you're struggling to underreact at present you can think of all the possible outcomes and choose the two most realistic and probable and concentrate on those but not the most extreme negative ones ..

Glad you found the CD set excellent . There is a catagory on this forum with a topic for each CD if you have any specific comments on each .

You are so nearly there now - do you think the depression has been helped by the switch ?


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

sal
03-07-05, 22:21
Hi Peter

Welcome to the forum. You have gone through a lot but sound very positive and i am really pleased that Megs CDs are helping you.



Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

peterg
04-07-05, 22:29
Thankyou everyone for your support.

Meg, it's probably impossible to say whether the switch in tablets has made a difference to the depression.

I have relied on a number of attacks on the anxiety and I am traeting the medication as something that is giving me the breathing space to concentrate on my thinking and recovery.

I'm not totally convinced I was having a problem with the citalopram, I believe it was more a problem with my treatment at work. So difficult to isolate, but I have felt better in myself after a couple of months on the new tablets.

sal
09-07-05, 23:19
Hi Peter

So pleased you have found the site and we will all help you through this.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.