Dublin_Man
04-01-09, 17:07
firstly apologies if this is not meant to be posted here
just need others to read it and get some advice ???
well im a 28 year old male from dublin ireland
i experienced my first panic attack in Feb 1998 when i was dating a woman 4 months , she lived 4 miles from me , so this particular day i was over in her neck of the woods , i was 17 didnt drive , just got bus etc
anyway it happened after we had mac donalds , because being 17 i didnt have alot of money , enough for food and bus thats it
we had takeaway mac donalds and sat on a wall oposite side of the road from mac donalds and everything bar dying happened , i just felt afraid , breathing was eratic , got blurred vision , sweats , pins n needles in hands and face , weak , i just wanted to go home asap as i didnt know what was happenning , so we walked up towards bus stop , i though it might be gas i had so got a can of 7up and hoped id belch etc but didnt work and then though i needed to go no 2 and again didnt feel better , so at this point i had no money and had to ask somebody at bus stop for this
i got on the bus and was just short of screaming because i was so scared , but as soon as i got into a familiar place in my area it went away fast and i was still scared in my home , so from then on i wouldnt go anywhere on bus or taxi as i want to be in control of when i go or stay
it was months b4 i went back over to my gfs house
so we broke up in july 2004 after 6.5 years together , i wasnt happy neither was she etc so ive been sngle since , at the start it was because i wanted space but now i want a gf and maybe having a gf will help me out of my depression state
i work close to home and i sit on my ass all day in work and at home , i have since bought my own home and live away from folks since feb 2005 , bt my old friends are just interested in drink and thats it , none ofthem wanna do anything else hense why i dont feel close to any of them , they all know about my anxiety and none ever call to see how u are etc ( there choice to do what they want be it drink etc ) just i realise ifi drink alot i might become dependant on drink and thats a big no no , i have been on medication for a few years and at the moment im currently on nothing and im going back o see doctor this week , every now and again a xanax
thing is my life exists of work and home thats it
i cant go to city centre which is 3 miles away , cant go on hoidays , i asscociate my house with safety , even when i go to my mams i get anxious when i lived there for 24 years , i know exactly what is happening to me and why ths is happening
in short its basically a bad habit ive learnt , ive learned to think bad and associate distace with fear , when its completely irrational
but i cant seem to get rid of the habit , its like if somebody had a crash in airplane or car , the longer they leave it to get back into them the harder it is and it took me 3 or 4 years after initian anxiety for me to go places , it was too easy for me , my gf kept comming over to me we went to my pubs etc
but now its so hard because its imbedded in my head and i need to get this sorted
so the short of it all now is , im 28 and kept in a safezone for past 11 years and living by a bad habit that i cant shake
helppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
i do know alot more than an doctor can tell me and was told this
just cant put into practice what i need to do
just need others to read it and get some advice ???
well im a 28 year old male from dublin ireland
i experienced my first panic attack in Feb 1998 when i was dating a woman 4 months , she lived 4 miles from me , so this particular day i was over in her neck of the woods , i was 17 didnt drive , just got bus etc
anyway it happened after we had mac donalds , because being 17 i didnt have alot of money , enough for food and bus thats it
we had takeaway mac donalds and sat on a wall oposite side of the road from mac donalds and everything bar dying happened , i just felt afraid , breathing was eratic , got blurred vision , sweats , pins n needles in hands and face , weak , i just wanted to go home asap as i didnt know what was happenning , so we walked up towards bus stop , i though it might be gas i had so got a can of 7up and hoped id belch etc but didnt work and then though i needed to go no 2 and again didnt feel better , so at this point i had no money and had to ask somebody at bus stop for this
i got on the bus and was just short of screaming because i was so scared , but as soon as i got into a familiar place in my area it went away fast and i was still scared in my home , so from then on i wouldnt go anywhere on bus or taxi as i want to be in control of when i go or stay
it was months b4 i went back over to my gfs house
so we broke up in july 2004 after 6.5 years together , i wasnt happy neither was she etc so ive been sngle since , at the start it was because i wanted space but now i want a gf and maybe having a gf will help me out of my depression state
i work close to home and i sit on my ass all day in work and at home , i have since bought my own home and live away from folks since feb 2005 , bt my old friends are just interested in drink and thats it , none ofthem wanna do anything else hense why i dont feel close to any of them , they all know about my anxiety and none ever call to see how u are etc ( there choice to do what they want be it drink etc ) just i realise ifi drink alot i might become dependant on drink and thats a big no no , i have been on medication for a few years and at the moment im currently on nothing and im going back o see doctor this week , every now and again a xanax
thing is my life exists of work and home thats it
i cant go to city centre which is 3 miles away , cant go on hoidays , i asscociate my house with safety , even when i go to my mams i get anxious when i lived there for 24 years , i know exactly what is happening to me and why ths is happening
in short its basically a bad habit ive learnt , ive learned to think bad and associate distace with fear , when its completely irrational
but i cant seem to get rid of the habit , its like if somebody had a crash in airplane or car , the longer they leave it to get back into them the harder it is and it took me 3 or 4 years after initian anxiety for me to go places , it was too easy for me , my gf kept comming over to me we went to my pubs etc
but now its so hard because its imbedded in my head and i need to get this sorted
so the short of it all now is , im 28 and kept in a safezone for past 11 years and living by a bad habit that i cant shake
helppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
i do know alot more than an doctor can tell me and was told this
just cant put into practice what i need to do