My Story

[Dublin_Man]

firstly apologies if this is not meant to be posted here

just need others to read it and get some advice ???

well im a 28 year old male from dublin ireland

i experienced my first panic attack in Feb 1998 when i was dating a woman 4 months , she lived 4 miles from me , so this particular day i was over in her neck of the woods , i was 17 didnt drive , just got bus etc

anyway it happened after we had mac donalds , because being 17 i didnt have alot of money , enough for food and bus thats it

we had takeaway mac donalds and sat on a wall oposite side of the road from mac donalds and everything bar dying happened , i just felt afraid , breathing was eratic , got blurred vision , sweats , pins n needles in hands and face , weak , i just wanted to go home asap as i didnt know what was happenning , so we walked up towards bus stop , i though it might be gas i had so got a can of 7up and hoped id belch etc but didnt work and then though i needed to go no 2 and again didnt feel better , so at this point i had no money and had to ask somebody at bus stop for this

i got on the bus and was just short of screaming because i was so scared , but as soon as i got into a familiar place in my area it went away fast and i was still scared in my home , so from then on i wouldnt go anywhere on bus or taxi as i want to be in control of when i go or stay

it was months b4 i went back over to my gfs house

so we broke up in july 2004 after 6.5 years together , i wasnt happy neither was she etc so ive been sngle since , at the start it was because i wanted space but now i want a gf and maybe having a gf will help me out of my depression state

i work close to home and i sit on my ass all day in work and at home , i have since bought my own home and live away from folks since feb 2005 , bt my old friends are just interested in drink and thats it , none ofthem wanna do anything else hense why i dont feel close to any of them , they all know about my anxiety and none ever call to see how u are etc ( there choice to do what they want be it drink etc ) just i realise ifi drink alot i might become dependant on drink and thats a big no no , i have been on medication for a few years and at the moment im currently on nothing and im going back o see doctor this week , every now and again a xanax

thing is my life exists of work and home thats it

i cant go to city centre which is 3 miles away , cant go on hoidays , i asscociate my house with safety , even when i go to my mams i get anxious when i lived there for 24 years , i know exactly what is happening to me and why ths is happening

in short its basically a bad habit ive learnt , ive learned to think bad and associate distace with fear , when its completely irrational

but i cant seem to get rid of the habit , its like if somebody had a crash in airplane or car , the longer they leave it to get back into them the harder it is and it took me 3 or 4 years after initian anxiety for me to go places , it was too easy for me , my gf kept comming over to me we went to my pubs etc

but now its so hard because its imbedded in my head and i need to get this sorted

so the short of it all now is , im 28 and kept in a safezone for past 11 years and living by a bad habit that i cant shake

helppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

i do know alot more than an doctor can tell me and was told this

just cant put into practice what i need to do

[peter_griffen]

Hi. Im in the same boat than you. My problems started when i was 14, the stress of loosing my grandad, mum being ill, starting a new school year and just generally growing up was too much at the same time. I lost all my friends as none of them understood what i was going through, and became very isolated. I have had PA/Anxiety for some 9 years, the maximum distance i can travel is no more than 2 miles away from my home.
Despite going out everyday (or near enough), i also cannot get the anxeity out of the system, im starting later this month some CBT - hopefully this may help a little?, perhaps you ask your Dr for some CBT?

[Dublin_Man]

cheers peter griffen :) hows stewwie :)

i saw someguy who did CBT and the one thing you dont wanna hear when u see one is " im still learning and studying CBT "

dont get me wrong like anything in life u need to learn more and evolve , but as soon as he said that i was like " ok dude u just closed the door on me when i leave "

his kids were very noisy , as he did it from his home , freezing , hearing his kids running around and wife shouting

wasnt very professional so i didnt go back

some people u see u just know there good , and didnt feel this with him

[EmmaJane]

How about listening to some guided meditation on CD? I do this and it does help. xx

[Nechtan]

I am in a very similar situation but have not had it as long- just over 5 years in my case. At the moment though I haven't worked in over 3 years.

As someone in the same situation I cannot offer much advice on a cure but would say some things that have helped me enourmously. Mainly reading Dr Claire Weekes as doctors have a tendancy not to explain what exactly is going on within you and she does in a very informative and reassuring way. I also find reading easier as I get very agitated when trying to listen to something.

Does the medication work for you? If it does then it might be worth getting the doc to give you some more so you can at least get over this period.

All the best

Nechtan

[Eva May]

Hey Dublin Man. Sorry to hear you're depressed, I know how easy it is to slip into feeling like that. Well done on buying your own home, that's a huge step of independence. What are the people like that you work with, would they be any easier to talk to than your friends? I have found that one girl I work with is very understanding and easy to talk to about things and friends I've known for years still sometimes forget that 'no I can't take a foreign holiday with you because I can barely travel down the road!!' I don't know if it would be of any use to you but there's a place in Clontarf that deals with agoraphobia and panic. If you wanted to contact them:
Out and About Association
140 St. Lawrence's Road,
Clontarf, Dublin 3.
Tel: (01) 833 8252/833 8253