im a bit scared and wasn't really sure what to say ... [Archive]

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marnie

05-01-09, 21:44

hi im new here and don't really know what to say.
im a 17 year old female and ive only jus started getting help with my anxiety/depression because iv always felt ive had to be the one who kept things together in my family and if i was to break then that would be it. but i decided i couldn't take it any more, not with just going through my GCSE's and putting up with all that stress and then just starting college where i do A levels. my whole life, iv had a brother, who is now 20, who has had borderline personality disorder, but has only just been noticed by the doctors even know they were examining him almost all his life. ive been through ups and downs with my family, experienced things you couldn't image. my parents split when i was 3, i then had a step dad until i was 11. him and my brother never got on. we were on holiday once and there was an argument late in the evening, i walked up to see what it was about and i saw my 13year old brother 'bottle' my stepdad who was in his 30's. thats nothing compared to what i saw as a neglected child. ive dealt with it well though, i just feel that now is time for me to let it all out or im going to go down big time, and this time possibly for good. i have been put on a citalopram doseage of 40mg, and they still dont even feel like their working. im really scared how things are going to work out for me because iv tired to get help but my doctor gave me these pills and put me on a computer councelling course and it really doesn't appeal to me. i feel like i need someone to talk to about things, someone who understands, not someone who tells me to chuck these pills down my neck and tells me everything will be ok?! i just hope i find someone on here who understands... im sorry if i have babled on...i just didint really know what to say, so i thought id start off simularily to others on here.
thanks for listening
marnie

armanoo

05-01-09, 22:10

Hi marnie and welcome to the Forum

you really touched me .. and yeah it's just too much what you have been going through..

we all suffer here from different kinds of problems but i guess at the end w are all here for the same reason.

and yes you will find here someone who listens and understands .. we all do and we should always stick up for each other..

dont think twice about posting anything if you felt you had to say something and share it with us .. it really helps a lot.

ask your doctor to change you your medication if it has been enough time for it to take effect but it just didnt change anything . everyone responds to different kinds of drugs ..

and why dont you go for psychologist sessions ? that must be really helpful

Tamer - jerusalem

marnie

05-01-09, 22:18

EmmaJane

05-01-09, 22:19

Welcome to NMP - theres usually always someone around on here.

bleeds

06-01-09, 09:07

The drugs will work but take time there is no quick fix my advice is to read through this site there is alot of information. I was advised to read up on this problem and I found that this has helped me no end, as the more you learn the easier it becomes and make sure you share and ask the dr to get you a councillor, I found it a great help

Cherbear

06-01-09, 11:55

Hey hun, welcome to NMP. I understand, I know what it is like to just want someone to talk to rather than prescribe you what they think you need...sometimes all you need is for someone to tell you everything is ok.

Anyway, a big welcome I hope you find the site useful:hugs::hugs:xx

TrulyMadlyDeeply

06-01-09, 12:49

Hi Marnie,

Thanks for responding to my post, I do understand yours. I was bought up in a very dysfunctional and complicated family. You haven't babbled btw. :)

It is a shame that within your family they all have their own problems and there is no one really to look after you and be there for you. Im sure they want to be, but life can be complicated and hard for our parents. It sounds like you feel alone and have a burden of keeping "it together" so not to add any more stresses to the family situation. But unfortunately it is not your fault that you are affected by the problems that you have grown up around, it is understandable that you are anxious and depressed. I think you are being so strong by seeking out people to talk to. There will be many here that will be able to relate to you and hear you out.

Unfortunately Doctors cannot change our personal circumstances and give us a safe haven to retreat to. And they do wish that things could be easier in our lives but all they can do it try to help the anguish we suffer with pills. They cannot change our family circumstances. They can only offer the other choice of visiting a counselor but I know they can be thin on the ground. I know my Doctor wishes my personal situation was better for me but he cannot help with that.

Hopefully you will meet people here to talk things through with.

TMD

spaced

06-01-09, 12:58

:welcome: hi and welcome to NMP:)

marnie

06-01-09, 14:03

thankyou so much for reading and listening to my problems. it means a lot.
thankyou bleeds, it always helps when someone knows what your going through. especially with medication because it sends your mind all over the place. cherbear thankyou aswel, its really nice to have some reassurance :D
and TMD, you've really touched me, the way you've just gone out of your way to speak to me and advise me, that made me want to cry, in a happy way of course. i do feel alone but you've just lifted my spirit a great amount so thankyou sooo much :D hope to speak to you all soon xxx

lorac

06-01-09, 14:35

Hi Marnie

Welcome to the site, I think you will find friends on here who will help and support you. You have been through a tough time and I think it would be good for you if your Doctor was to send you to talk to someone. If you can't get the right help from the doctor you are seeing then you should think about going to another one, each doctor has different ideas. Keep posting Marnie because it is good to get those feelings out.

Carol

marnie

06-01-09, 15:11

thanks carol. im going to the doctor shortly (as in today) cause iv had enough of feeling down, and thats why i came to this site. im trying to move forward. im going to tell them exactly what i need today and if they wont give me what i need i think i will change doctors. thankyou for the advice :D x:hugs:

armanoo

06-01-09, 15:16

wow, i didnt actually think that someone would right back. its been about 3 months i think. sometimes i feel better but then there is other days when i jus cant cope. and thats why im here. thanks for the reply, its really brightened up my day(evening, whatever you want to call it).
i really want to go to councelling or something where i can actually speak to someone but i dont know if my doctor will put me forward for it, she just doesnt seem very keen to do that. it means a lot for someone to reply. :D
whats your reason for being on here?
marnie

Hi marine :shades:

and you are more than welcome and i'm happy i could make you feel a bit better,

i suffer from depresstion anxiety attacks and panic.. i dont know if depresstion caused them or they cuased depresstion but i have all of them :yahoo: since so long,

but lately it has got much worse .. and i lost my ability to concentrate so i faced \ still facing lot of troubles in school:scared15: and i lost my ability to get along with people and after some bad things happned to me in the street i started to have social anxiety :lac: and to avoid people as much as i can.. which by the time leads to low self steam :doh: .. it's all ruined

but hopfully i and all members here will get better and come back to our normal lifes soon ..hugss

marnie

06-01-09, 20:19

sunshine-lady

06-01-09, 21:20

Hi Marnie and welcome to NMP

Sounds like life has been tough for you, you are not alone hun. I think knowing that is a little comfort in it'self

I am sure you will like it here. There is so much information, advice and support. Chat is a great place to make new friends

xxxx

armanoo

06-01-09, 21:55

oh dont worry about the english. i think its pretty good considering its not your first language!! :D so well done for that? i used to get major anxiety but for some reason its calmed down now. i dont know why. i used to smoke to 'help me deal with it' weather it did or not i have no idea, but iv quit
now :) what do you study at school then? oh i went to the doctor today to talk about getting councelling and other stuff and she told me somewhere to go to see if that will help me but if not she will put me on the waiting list. but that aparently goes on for ages!!! so i might have a long wait! :doh:
we will see though!
marnie x

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: thank you .. i hope it will keep getting better :scared15: :scared15:

----------------------------------------

i'm really happy you could quit smoking .. coz i'm sure it does not help even a bit .. probably it will make things worse by the time ..coz besides the Psychiatric problems we suffer from we will have health problems :yahoo: ..

i'm law student :weep: :weep: :weep: .. in my third year ..and i beleive i'm surely going to heaven after i die :noangel: .. coz i have been tortured enough in my studies and life :yahoo: .

i wish you luck with the whole therapy thing ..i'm also on the waiting list :scared15: i hate it .. it's like you are not sure if you will be still alive till they call you to set up an appointemnt ..

i could not go to a pvt doctor coz it would be very costly ..now i only pay for the medications..

but i have to keep waiting .. which concerns me .. coz i dont wanna be only on medication that would make me feel better .. i wanna be seeing a psychologist that would teach me how to face my problems and fears !!

Good luck ..

weeble40

07-01-09, 09:22

Hi and a big welcome to NMP its great to have you here, hope to see you in chat sometime,

Take care

Emma xxx

marnie

07-01-09, 21:01

i'm really happy you could quit smoking .. coz i'm sure it does not help even a bit .. probably it will make things worse by the time ..coz besides the Psychiatric problems we suffer from we will have health problems :yahoo: ..

i'm law student :weep: :weep: :weep: .. in my third year ..and i beleive i'm surely going to heaven after i die :noangel: .. coz i have been tortured enough in my studies and life :yahoo: .

i wish you luck with the whole therapy thing ..i'm also on the waiting list :scared15: i hate it .. it's like you are not sure if you will be still alive till they call you to set up an appointemnt ..

i could not go to a pvt doctor coz it would be very costly ..now i only pay for the medications..

but i have to keep waiting .. which concerns me .. coz i dont wanna be only on medication that would make me feel better .. i wanna be seeing a psychologist that would teach me how to face my problems and fears !!

Good luck ..

i found out that i can seee my college therapist. TOMMORROW!!! :O
im soooo suprised. i knew the doctors would be useless. i completely understand how you feel about the doctors. for such a long time iv been thinkin by the time they get to me i wont even be here! which, to be honest, no one should ever think about, really. should they!
until you do get proffessional advice, il help you on here. and if i get any advice that i think will help you, i will tell you about it as soon as poss! i promise. thankyou so much :D x

Dominic1975

07-01-09, 21:10

we are all here for when u need a chat or advice - welcome

armanoo

07-01-09, 21:42

i found out that i can seee my college therapist. TOMMORROW!!! :O
im soooo suprised. i knew the doctors would be useless. i completely understand how you feel about the doctors. for such a long time iv been thinkin by the time they get to me i wont even be here! which, to be honest, no one should ever think about, really. should they!
until you do get proffessional advice, il help you on here. and if i get any advice that i think will help you, i will tell you about it as soon as poss! i promise. thankyou so much :D x

wow congrats .. and we though it would take a life time ! :roflmao:

hope tomorrow meeting will be so good and helpful for you ..

and i cant wait for the updates :yesyes: :yesyes: