chrisrig
06-01-09, 15:56
hello all
i have been watching and reading lots of posts over the last few days and decided to join today.
heres my story=
my life with anxiety and panic attacks started back in 1992, kick started by taking various drugs during the raving days of the late 80's early 90's.
when it first hit me it was after a particulaly heavy weekend and i was very paranoid, full of panick and terrified that i had given myself brain damage.
i was so bad i couldnt go out of the house, i had to break away from all my friends as they (as i was before this) just interested in taking drugs ect.
my mother took me to my doctor who transfered me to a drugs therapist.
i was diagnosed with amphetamine psychosis and told it would wear off in time.
luckily for me this was at the start of the college summer holidays so i dad
time to rest.
weeks past and it didnt get any better so i went back to my doctors.
as it all seemed to be drugs related i was given the best help from my doctor and was told to give it more time and that things would get easier.
more weeks passed and i was worse if anything, i was due back at college and i was petrified to go back.
i was given a prescription (some kind of ssri) and told to take for 3 months and all should be well.
the tablets did absolutely nothing to help and i spent the next year stuggling through college and trying to keep it together.
my tutors were very understanding and they were a big help,
i only just scraped through and just about passed my course in design.
i was offered different drugs over this time and the next couple of years that didnt do much to help. i was prescibed diazepam for the panic attacks which i was addicted too for the following 3 years but eventually kicked them. i also used drink to mask the anxiety and just coped the best i could day to day.
during this time i had abandoned my friends who proved they were anything but that by not helping me at all and basically ignored me.
i was alone and needed to start again.
in some ways, as hard as it was, getting away from the friends i had back then was the best thing i could have possibly done.
my mum talked my cousin into asking me for a drink and that was the start of my group of friends i still have to this day.
he really helped me through it and i have a lot to thank him for really.
it was bow about 1995 and i was coping but only just really, not living but existing, as a lot of people with anxiety say.
i was now taking prozac and had seen a psycholagist recieving cognative behavural therapy. this was a big turning point in my life.
if you have not tried this kind of therapy i strongly recomend it. it gives you insight into the workings of your mind and why and how the anxiety works.
even with this i was still on mediaction and found that i couldnt cope if i weened myself off them. in about 1997 i went onto citralopram and am still taking 20mg every morning to this day.
at this time and for the next few years i got on with life. never completely anxiety free but able to function and even enjoy some of it.
i was in an unhealthy relationship with a girl who had been abused as a child and we fought like cat and dog for 5 years but couldnt seem to part. there were a lot of good times but the bad times were terrible.
i eventually ended it in 2000.
this was a bad time for me, i moved into a place of my own and started smoking canabis again, i found that this had brought back on quite bad anxiety.
as most of you will know, when anxiety recurrs after a long break it allways seems different than before and more frightening than ever.
in 2001 i stopped the canabis and went to thailand for a few weeks with a friend, this really helped to clear my head and for the next two years i had a generally good time. i had ups and downs as everyone does but 90% of my life has been reasonably happy and fulfilling.
i met my current wife in late 2002 and things for the last 6 years have been great really. usuall ups and downs but mostly very good.
i usually have a reasonably bad PA/anxiety eppisode about one a year with the odd few days here and there where i dont feel to great but i generally lead a 'normal' day to day life.
over the last say 5 years i have noticed that if i have a heavy night drinking i am quite bad the next day but after a day or two get back to a state of reasonable calmness. if i drink for several days continuous i get quite bad and need a week or two to recover.
this tends to hapen if i go on holiday ect where i might drink for a few night in a row.
i had a bad episode two years ago in greece with my wife.
i felt ok but lying on the beach one day i suddenly had a tremendous panic attack and had to go back to the appartment where i stayed for the next two days.
i got better after about a week or so at home but had to go to the doctor about it. she prescibed me diazepam to take on a take as needed basis.
just knowing they are safely tucked away for emergencies is quite reassuring in itself really.
now to what has brought me to this website.
the night before new years eve i woke up at about 3 am with uncontrollable shakes and panic and was scared to death. so much so that my wife phoned the emergency doctor.
i can honestly say i cant remember having such a bad attack.
what was more terrifying for me was that it happend in the middle of the night.
the doctor told me have another citralopram and go and see my gp the next day. i did this and she gave me another prescription of diazepam and advised me to increase my citralopram doseage to 30mg a day.
looking back over the last couple of months i can see where my stresses ect have crept up on me and the drinking has been a bit player in this too.
i havent been too bad in the daytime, getting by really, but i can harldy sleep and i wake up with a startle and have attacks.
the lack of sleep seemd to be making matters worse.
i havent drank for a week now and i take 5mg of diazepam if i really need to. ive ordered some books recomended on here too so am looking forward to getting them through the door.
im now taking it one day at a time............
i have been watching and reading lots of posts over the last few days and decided to join today.
heres my story=
my life with anxiety and panic attacks started back in 1992, kick started by taking various drugs during the raving days of the late 80's early 90's.
when it first hit me it was after a particulaly heavy weekend and i was very paranoid, full of panick and terrified that i had given myself brain damage.
i was so bad i couldnt go out of the house, i had to break away from all my friends as they (as i was before this) just interested in taking drugs ect.
my mother took me to my doctor who transfered me to a drugs therapist.
i was diagnosed with amphetamine psychosis and told it would wear off in time.
luckily for me this was at the start of the college summer holidays so i dad
time to rest.
weeks past and it didnt get any better so i went back to my doctors.
as it all seemed to be drugs related i was given the best help from my doctor and was told to give it more time and that things would get easier.
more weeks passed and i was worse if anything, i was due back at college and i was petrified to go back.
i was given a prescription (some kind of ssri) and told to take for 3 months and all should be well.
the tablets did absolutely nothing to help and i spent the next year stuggling through college and trying to keep it together.
my tutors were very understanding and they were a big help,
i only just scraped through and just about passed my course in design.
i was offered different drugs over this time and the next couple of years that didnt do much to help. i was prescibed diazepam for the panic attacks which i was addicted too for the following 3 years but eventually kicked them. i also used drink to mask the anxiety and just coped the best i could day to day.
during this time i had abandoned my friends who proved they were anything but that by not helping me at all and basically ignored me.
i was alone and needed to start again.
in some ways, as hard as it was, getting away from the friends i had back then was the best thing i could have possibly done.
my mum talked my cousin into asking me for a drink and that was the start of my group of friends i still have to this day.
he really helped me through it and i have a lot to thank him for really.
it was bow about 1995 and i was coping but only just really, not living but existing, as a lot of people with anxiety say.
i was now taking prozac and had seen a psycholagist recieving cognative behavural therapy. this was a big turning point in my life.
if you have not tried this kind of therapy i strongly recomend it. it gives you insight into the workings of your mind and why and how the anxiety works.
even with this i was still on mediaction and found that i couldnt cope if i weened myself off them. in about 1997 i went onto citralopram and am still taking 20mg every morning to this day.
at this time and for the next few years i got on with life. never completely anxiety free but able to function and even enjoy some of it.
i was in an unhealthy relationship with a girl who had been abused as a child and we fought like cat and dog for 5 years but couldnt seem to part. there were a lot of good times but the bad times were terrible.
i eventually ended it in 2000.
this was a bad time for me, i moved into a place of my own and started smoking canabis again, i found that this had brought back on quite bad anxiety.
as most of you will know, when anxiety recurrs after a long break it allways seems different than before and more frightening than ever.
in 2001 i stopped the canabis and went to thailand for a few weeks with a friend, this really helped to clear my head and for the next two years i had a generally good time. i had ups and downs as everyone does but 90% of my life has been reasonably happy and fulfilling.
i met my current wife in late 2002 and things for the last 6 years have been great really. usuall ups and downs but mostly very good.
i usually have a reasonably bad PA/anxiety eppisode about one a year with the odd few days here and there where i dont feel to great but i generally lead a 'normal' day to day life.
over the last say 5 years i have noticed that if i have a heavy night drinking i am quite bad the next day but after a day or two get back to a state of reasonable calmness. if i drink for several days continuous i get quite bad and need a week or two to recover.
this tends to hapen if i go on holiday ect where i might drink for a few night in a row.
i had a bad episode two years ago in greece with my wife.
i felt ok but lying on the beach one day i suddenly had a tremendous panic attack and had to go back to the appartment where i stayed for the next two days.
i got better after about a week or so at home but had to go to the doctor about it. she prescibed me diazepam to take on a take as needed basis.
just knowing they are safely tucked away for emergencies is quite reassuring in itself really.
now to what has brought me to this website.
the night before new years eve i woke up at about 3 am with uncontrollable shakes and panic and was scared to death. so much so that my wife phoned the emergency doctor.
i can honestly say i cant remember having such a bad attack.
what was more terrifying for me was that it happend in the middle of the night.
the doctor told me have another citralopram and go and see my gp the next day. i did this and she gave me another prescription of diazepam and advised me to increase my citralopram doseage to 30mg a day.
looking back over the last couple of months i can see where my stresses ect have crept up on me and the drinking has been a bit player in this too.
i havent been too bad in the daytime, getting by really, but i can harldy sleep and i wake up with a startle and have attacks.
the lack of sleep seemd to be making matters worse.
i havent drank for a week now and i take 5mg of diazepam if i really need to. ive ordered some books recomended on here too so am looking forward to getting them through the door.
im now taking it one day at a time............