Alice
03-07-05, 23:44
Hey everyone
I just discovered this site today and have spent the last hour reading through as much as i can and im impressed with all the support and advice you all have!
i'll tell you a bit about myself, im 21 and a student at uni, my problems first started when i was working in my year out 3 years ago. Ive always been prone to depression and at this time i was quite down, i started to experience panic attacks at work (although at the time i was convinced that something was seriously wrong of course!) and i got sacked from my job. i had a lot of problems in the following year and developed agoraphobia and had panic attacks whenever i was out or at work. I was put on anti-depressants/anti-anxieties and slowly i got my life back together. almost a year after my first panic attack i began uni, and despite my fears about it i found that i had no problems with anxiety in the first year!
However in december of my second year i finally came of my anti depressants (after tapering them over a period of months) and was off medication for the first time in two years. It only took until the february for me to get depressed and phobic again, i had started a job working in a shop in that december and by march i was in so much of a state that i couldnt work, i was signed off for a month and i then handed in my notice. i went back to my doctor and was prescribed citalopram, over the easter period i was still down but i was managing to get out occasionally. But when i went back to uni things started to unravel. I couldnt attend lectures or even leave the house, i got behind on my studies and became more and more down. i would take taxis everywhere because i couldnt bring myself to walk to campus, eventually things came to a head when i developed manic symptoms, for a week i didnt sleep, hardly ate and had soo much energy (and was really happy!) i was running around, cleaning, going for jogs, shopping, (i ended up buying two rabbits the day before our house inspection from the letting agent, needless to say we are not allowed pets and they had to be smuggled out and then back in again after the landlord had left) i was completely out of character and no one could understand me because i was talking so fast. Looking back it must have been scary for my friends who had to stay with me to stop me going out (ha, its ironic isnt it!) i just couldnt be trusted to be on my own noone knew what i would do next.
It turned out that the mania symptoms were caused by a reaction to citalopram and i was ordered to immediately stop taking it, which i did, but then became so unbelieveably depressed that i began cutting myself. this went on for a couple of weeks, i ended up in A&E twice for stitches after slitting my wrists. Eventually my doctor suggested i go into hospital to protect myself from harming myself, and to monitor me while they put me on a different anti-depressant.
i was in hospital for a week, on an acute psychiatric ward. going into hospital was the scariest thing that ive done, its horrible to admit that things have got so bad that you cant control yourself. Despite my apprehension it turned out to be ok, in fact while i was in there there was so many people to meet and chat to and so much going on that i didnt feel depressed! after a week i was discharged, i had been put on venlafaxine for anxiety, but on a low dose so in fact it has no anti-depressant effect.
When i came out of hospital i felt a bit cheated really, as i hadnt been put on anything to help with my depression. I was very down for the next couple of weeks, but gradually things got better. at first i would have to have someone with me whenever i left the house. i couldnt even make it to the shop on my own. I made good friends with a guy in hospital who is suffering from schizophrenia and he was upset when i left because i had been the only there able to listen to him, a week after i left hospital a friend drove me back there so i could visit him. And as i left the hospital i saw a bus that was going my way home, and on a whim i jumped on
I just discovered this site today and have spent the last hour reading through as much as i can and im impressed with all the support and advice you all have!
i'll tell you a bit about myself, im 21 and a student at uni, my problems first started when i was working in my year out 3 years ago. Ive always been prone to depression and at this time i was quite down, i started to experience panic attacks at work (although at the time i was convinced that something was seriously wrong of course!) and i got sacked from my job. i had a lot of problems in the following year and developed agoraphobia and had panic attacks whenever i was out or at work. I was put on anti-depressants/anti-anxieties and slowly i got my life back together. almost a year after my first panic attack i began uni, and despite my fears about it i found that i had no problems with anxiety in the first year!
However in december of my second year i finally came of my anti depressants (after tapering them over a period of months) and was off medication for the first time in two years. It only took until the february for me to get depressed and phobic again, i had started a job working in a shop in that december and by march i was in so much of a state that i couldnt work, i was signed off for a month and i then handed in my notice. i went back to my doctor and was prescribed citalopram, over the easter period i was still down but i was managing to get out occasionally. But when i went back to uni things started to unravel. I couldnt attend lectures or even leave the house, i got behind on my studies and became more and more down. i would take taxis everywhere because i couldnt bring myself to walk to campus, eventually things came to a head when i developed manic symptoms, for a week i didnt sleep, hardly ate and had soo much energy (and was really happy!) i was running around, cleaning, going for jogs, shopping, (i ended up buying two rabbits the day before our house inspection from the letting agent, needless to say we are not allowed pets and they had to be smuggled out and then back in again after the landlord had left) i was completely out of character and no one could understand me because i was talking so fast. Looking back it must have been scary for my friends who had to stay with me to stop me going out (ha, its ironic isnt it!) i just couldnt be trusted to be on my own noone knew what i would do next.
It turned out that the mania symptoms were caused by a reaction to citalopram and i was ordered to immediately stop taking it, which i did, but then became so unbelieveably depressed that i began cutting myself. this went on for a couple of weeks, i ended up in A&E twice for stitches after slitting my wrists. Eventually my doctor suggested i go into hospital to protect myself from harming myself, and to monitor me while they put me on a different anti-depressant.
i was in hospital for a week, on an acute psychiatric ward. going into hospital was the scariest thing that ive done, its horrible to admit that things have got so bad that you cant control yourself. Despite my apprehension it turned out to be ok, in fact while i was in there there was so many people to meet and chat to and so much going on that i didnt feel depressed! after a week i was discharged, i had been put on venlafaxine for anxiety, but on a low dose so in fact it has no anti-depressant effect.
When i came out of hospital i felt a bit cheated really, as i hadnt been put on anything to help with my depression. I was very down for the next couple of weeks, but gradually things got better. at first i would have to have someone with me whenever i left the house. i couldnt even make it to the shop on my own. I made good friends with a guy in hospital who is suffering from schizophrenia and he was upset when i left because i had been the only there able to listen to him, a week after i left hospital a friend drove me back there so i could visit him. And as i left the hospital i saw a bus that was going my way home, and on a whim i jumped on