Depression & Anxiety

[Amma]

Hi there,
I'm a 33 year old female from Sydney, Australia I have suffered from depression & Anxiety for the last 10 years. I used to have a wonderful job for a great company and this days I can't even get out of the house.
I have taken all different medications and I have tried counseling, meditation and all kinds of alternative medicine in order to help me, with no success. So last year (about 6 months ago) I decided to stop taking all medication all together even though my doctor advised me against it.
The first few weeks a felt really bad as I was told the medicine needed to get out of my system. Then I thought I was doing much better but my partner has told me she has noticed a great change in me! when I asked her what it was she said that I was short tempered, argumentative and irrational. At first I did not believe her but lately things are really getting to me, my thoughts race at night and I feel everything is getting out of control.
Another thing I have noticed is a have lost my appetite and cry everyday I don't want to burden my partner as she has her own issues to deal with.
I don't want to feel this way but I don't think I can handle any more medicine.
Is there any one one that can maybe help me as I feel I'm spiraling out of control.... Thanks :weep:

[Nechtan]

Hi Amma,

I don't take medication and I can relate to your moods. I am extremely short tempered and argumentative. When my wife is having a joke I never see it for what it is. When I see these things afterward I am riddled with guilt because it is not the way I used to be and I hate taking things out on the ones I love- my family.

What I find is that I am so introspective and caught up in my own problems that I have no time for anything else. When someone talks it very quickly to me becomes tedious and I get agitated. The longer it goes on the more I am ready to explode. With the kids it is noise levels. It all amounts to the same thing though. I am so preoccupied with my own thoughts that I blow a fuse when I am taken out of them.

If medication is not working and the other avenues you have tried haven't worked then there is not alot else. My own self help is to continually read the Claire Weekes books. I find when anxiety builds I forget all I have read and by picking up the book and reading it calms me down. In your own case I think you have to find some sort of coping technique that suits you. If you haven't tried CBT then maybe that would help. I know in my own case I react the way I do because I am used to now reacting in that way and with something like CBT we are able to unlearn these reactions which have become the norm to us.

Sorry that there is not much of an answer to this post but it was mainly to let you know that you are not alone in the way you are acting.

All the best

Necthan