Feel really low

[IloveJoshHolloway]

As Im typing this I am trying not to cry as my little ones are in the room. Im so upset with myself right now because my stupid panic attacks and anxiety have come back. I Have suffered with pa for 10 years now but they come and go. I had a period of about 3 years where I stopped getting them, but about 3 months ago they have come back. Its got to the stage where I am scared to go out too far in case I get one. I have even been getting other people to pick my kids up from school because of it and they have even missed a couple of days from school. I dont drive but I do feel better when Im in a car traveling places.
I feel so fed up with everything. My mum has just called and asked me if I want to go to the shops with her and I really really want to but Im so scared of having a panic attack while Im out with her. She is not understanding and thinks depression and anxiety are in the mind so its hard to open up to her.
Sorry to go on. Just makes me feel a bit better getting it off my chest.

[STEPHYUNO]

Hi there, I really know what that's like when we don't feel we can enjoy or do things that many take for granted due to fear of panic, I say fear because I have come to believe it is the fear of panic that brings it on, for example when I used to get red in the face in any social situation, it was because I feared looking embarrassed, it's a trick our brain plays that means when we focuss on the thing we are most worried about it actually enables it to happen.
As you are probably aware there is ways to reduce and get rid of this, one of them being to smile and laugh at it when you feel it coming on, I know it sounds silly, but it can work, even give it a funny name, this all helps to take the serious nature out of it and makes it easier to ignore, it made them less sustained for me anyway, Stephen x

[PUGLETMUM]

:hugs: hi i really feel for you, as not having emotional support does make it harder i think to recover - but you can definately recover it just takes longer i think because we have to do it for ourselves by ourselves and at times this is depressing.

dont hold your emotions in for fear of upsetting your children - you wont, kids are extremely resilient and also very caring and they also have to learn about emotions - that to have them doesn tmean its the end of the world - seeing you have a little cry and then recovering your composure will be a very good lesson for them in their own lives.

i hope you can get comfort anf support from this site -in reality you arent alone in your situation, there are maybe millions,and alot of us are here!so you dont have to feel alone, take care, emma

[IloveJoshHolloway]

Thank you for your replies. Well I have actually ended up having a good day despite how it started. I went to the shops on my own while my mum baby sat my children and I just took my time round the shops and kept thinking about the positive things I have read on this site.
I also picked my older children up from school and was totally fine. I know it may sound odd but I kept looking at the other people around me and saying to myself, look - they are fine. I can do it too.
I know I will have good and bad days, but every good day outweighs the bad 100 times over.

[orangeblossom]

well done you!

It is so good to see when someone goes from utter despair and panic, to doing so very well :-) Gives me something to aim for too!