tubbies
11-01-09, 02:00
hi
i'm new here but worry about having hiv. i did have a stupid unprotected one night stand which i regret so bad. i had an hiv test done 5/6 months later which came back negative, thank god. when i had my baby, i got severe pnd which caused health anxiety about the hiv. a gay friend of mine had not long been diagnosed with hiv. i used to clean his cuts as he was a bit of a drinker and was always falling over & getting into fights. i feel awful as i just can't speak to him now because he makes me feel so sick in the pit of my stomach when i think about him having the hiv. when i looked at my baby, all i could see was hiv. it was terrifying. i was forever at the doctors with mine or the baby's hiv symptoms. and the internet had a lot to answer for!! i was prescribed venlafaxine ads which i stayed on for 2 years. they saved my life as i felt suicidal most of the time. if my baby (who is now 4) becomes ill, it starts all over again. i can keep it under control most of the time with prescribed anti-anxiety tablets and know i have the ads to fall back on. but it's always there, lurking. why does it never go away?? you start to feel better, the baby gets ill and, bang, there it goes again!! i love my baby to pieces but the anxiety stops that bond we have being 100%. i'm too embarrassed to talk to friends because of the one night stand & hiv issue. and unless you've suffered anxiety before, people never truly understand what you're going through do they??
i'm new here but worry about having hiv. i did have a stupid unprotected one night stand which i regret so bad. i had an hiv test done 5/6 months later which came back negative, thank god. when i had my baby, i got severe pnd which caused health anxiety about the hiv. a gay friend of mine had not long been diagnosed with hiv. i used to clean his cuts as he was a bit of a drinker and was always falling over & getting into fights. i feel awful as i just can't speak to him now because he makes me feel so sick in the pit of my stomach when i think about him having the hiv. when i looked at my baby, all i could see was hiv. it was terrifying. i was forever at the doctors with mine or the baby's hiv symptoms. and the internet had a lot to answer for!! i was prescribed venlafaxine ads which i stayed on for 2 years. they saved my life as i felt suicidal most of the time. if my baby (who is now 4) becomes ill, it starts all over again. i can keep it under control most of the time with prescribed anti-anxiety tablets and know i have the ads to fall back on. but it's always there, lurking. why does it never go away?? you start to feel better, the baby gets ill and, bang, there it goes again!! i love my baby to pieces but the anxiety stops that bond we have being 100%. i'm too embarrassed to talk to friends because of the one night stand & hiv issue. and unless you've suffered anxiety before, people never truly understand what you're going through do they??