Alright Here You Go....

[PansyPants]

Hi my name is Nikki I'm 27. I suffer from PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. Ha not the way I imagined my life would go. I used to be care free and happy. I enjoyed my life very much, but now I live in constant fear and regret. I say regret because of the affect my disability has on my three beautiful children. Whom I see suffer however little it may be everyday for what I am going through.
I lost my husband in Iraq 5 years ago this past wed. After he died I lost my 7 year old sister 6 months later to a brain tumor. I loved them both very much but to be honest I was greiving and sad but I had not had one of these panic attacks...it wasnt until about 3 and 1/2 years later when it hit. I had a major panic attack and became seriously miserable. I couldnt take my kids on vactions any longer, to the park, or out to eat. Everything made me anxious. Ecxuse me EVERYTHING MAKES ME ANXIOUS.
I don't want to go on and on, but I just want to say that I have a very hard time enjoying life and that makes me very sad for my babies. Life just seems so scary all of a sudden...so unreal.
I plan to restart therapy hopefully with in the next week or two. I seem to have a hard time sticking with one because I get anxious about going.
I hope this site can help me threw all of this you all seem very nice and understanding.
Nikki

[spaced]

:welcome: hi and welcome to NMP:)

[Ryan]

Sorry to hear about you having a bad time this past few years Nikki and sorry to hear about your husband and sister.

You sound like a lovely lady, I am sure you are doing more then enough for your children and I wouldn't worry to much! As long as you love them and are there for them when they need you thats what matters in the long run, going out to eat and such is just gravy, don't forget it! =D

My mum couldn't often take me out when I was younger and I still love her all the same!

As for being anxious to go outside, I can imagine that is pretty hard to deal with but there is only one way to get over that and thats to tackle it head on... Just remember its an irrational fear, the outside world isnt going to hurt you!

This might seem a bit far fetched but have you considered hypnotherapy? I hear it works quite well with irrational fears and anxiety.

Face your fears, set yourself a goal to be outside by summer, summer is lovely! Good luck with your therapy sausage!

Don't give up!

[Patty]

Hi Nikki, :hugs:

:welcome: to NMP. It's great that you've joined. There is so much information & help here. I am so sorry to hear of the sad loss of your husband and sister. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

Best wishes xx :bighug1:

[sunshine-lady]

Hi Nikki and:welcome: to NMP
Sorry to hear about the loss of your dear husband and sister, my thoughts are with you.

so pleased you found us. I'm sure you will like it here as there is so much advice, information and support.

chat is fun too and a great place to make new friends:biggrin:

[lorac]

Hi Nikki

You have been through so much you poor thing, I am so sorry to hear of the losss of your husband and your sister. This is a good site Nikki with lots of good people who will give you advice and support I think you will make some good friends on here.

Carol

[PansyPants]

OMG!!! You all are so sweet! What a nice suprise to wake up in the morning and see all of your lovely replies. Thank You so much!
Today I'm going to take my kids to the park. I've packed up the blanket, lawn chair some magazines, a book, ther bikes, and some snacks. I want to at least stay for an hour and half to two hours. That's my goal anyhow. Make a fun day of it. I hope all goes well and I won't dissapoint them by having to leave.
Asta Pastas
I'll let you know how it goes.
Nikki
:emot-drums:

[Ryan]

Let us know how it goes!

[weeble40]

Hi and a big welcome to NMP its great to have you here, hope to see you in chat sometime,

Take care

Emma xxx