Doctor Has Terrified Me ...

[BNCfan]

I've been experiencing bad gastric symptoms since last August and told my GP I was very worried as everyone on my mother's side of the family died of various kinds of abdominal cancers. I'm now the age my mum was when she died and I've suffered from chronic anxiety all my life. Admittedly the doc sent me for a Barium Swallow which only told me what I knew already, that I had gastritis and acid reflux and I was put on Lansoprazole - which deals with the acid, but makes me feel awful - constant nausea, no appetite, bloatedness, diarrhoea etc. About two weeks before Christmas I woke up with numbness in my lower left leg and foot and had to see the locum at my surgery, who sent me for a complete blood screening. I saw my own GP at the last surgery before Christmas and she told me the blood test results had come back 'completely clear', except for my cholesterol levels which were one point higher than they like them to be. So that eased my mind and the anxiety started to settle a bit, as I knew if my liver and kidney bloods were OK it was highly likely all my symptoms were down to chronic anxiety. But when I went to see the same doc last Thursday she said the previously mentioned blood tests hadn't been normal after all and that one of my liver enzymes - GGT - was abnormal and sent me for more blood tests and I also have to have an Ultra Sound of my liver and pancreas at the end of the month. My mother died of Pancreatic Cancer and I'm terrified. Living with this level of anxiety - feeling sick all the time, diaphragm feeling uncomfortable like a brick, diarrhoea - I have had IBS for years, and an almost permanent feeling of impending death and doom makes life completely intolerable. I wish I had the courage to kill myself and get away from it all, but I have a phobia about dying and I'm out of my mind with worry. I'm completely on my own and can't cope anymore. I just needed to tell someone, because I don't have any family and feel so alone.

[amu]

I understand exactly how you feel as I feel exactly the same way right now. My father died young of bowel cancer and now I have symptoms and it takes soooo long to diagnose things over here. Every morning I wake up with sadness, I somehow get through the day, and I usually get into the deepest valleys of depression in the evening and I feel that there is no tomorrow.
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone with this and please let us know how you're getting on!:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[BNCfan]

Thanks Amu, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. I hope you're not alone with it and are getting some help.

[BNCfan]

Thanks Tetley. I'm beginning to think doctors are sadists! It was the same doctor who told me the blood results were normal, who is now telling me they're not. I don't know what to believe anymore, I can't trust anyone, the isolation I feel is unbearable. It's like screaming, but nobody can hear me.

[lamentinglaura]

I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. I understand what it's like to feel alone in your terror. It's an unbearable feeling.

Anyway, many years ago I worked with a lady who was filled with terror because most people in her family died in their 40's with cancer of one variety or another. She was 40 and felt sure that she'd also develop a disease and die. I reminded her that although she was related and shared genes with these people she was also a unique individual who had her own body and that no one had placed a death sentence upon her. That was over 15 years ago and today she is fine.

Although it's hard to do, please try to keep in mind that you are also unique and these blips that showed up in your blood work may amount to nothing. Be sure to ask your doctor all the questions you need to to achieve peace of mind. You're not alone in your suffering, we are all here for your support.

[jannnne]

Oh poor you, you must be out of your mind with worry, I am sure lots of things can change your liver profile. You know I have had the same symptoms as you since August. Would you say your symptoms are worse now or the same? Sending you lots of love. Let us know how you go with your tests. When will you know??

[june]

BNCFfan

I do wish i could say some wonderful words to help you get through this fear.
The best i can do is send you some hugs :hugs:
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
:hugs:
Best wishes
June

[Trapped]

I developed the same as you after an abusive relationship and it took 6 months of lansoprazole and a bland diet to get mine under control.
Can they try you with a different PPI?
I too am alone apart from my son who is ADHD and makes it all harder to cope with, that alone and not heard terrible isolation thing I so get it, I really do.

[bex1970]

Hi there - I'm not sure if I can help - but i had this same issue.... one raised enzyme level in my liver.... and slightly raised cholesterol. As i am a panic merchant too I had to ask every question under the sun - GGT levels alone (i.e. the only elevated enzyme in the liver panel) are not a problem - it can go hand in hand with cholesterol being raised. She will be checking you for a 'fatty liver' - which is relatively common and easily reversible.... the good thing about the liver being that it is one of the few organs that actually repairs itself....

she will have repeated the blood test and it is standard practice to give an ultrasound.... if it were any of the things you think it might be - GGT would not be the only thing raised - all of them would have been....Plus, you would be bright yellow and feeling pretty dreadful. (And I mean truly dreadful).

Some doctors (in the US especially) don't even ask for GGT levels any more as they are of no significance if they are raised on their own....

She is being cautious (I suspect because you are a worrier - like all of us - and because she thinks that she needs to cover every angle in order to put your mind at ease.). Alcohol can raise your GGT too.... as can a poor diet.

When you next see her - ask her lots of questions, if you haven't already, because I don't think that you need to be too alarmed at all. I really don't. I am now fine and my levels are all normal - but I was scared too - until I pestered my doctor to tell me, in minute detail, everything I needed to know. Which you also have the right to do.

I hope this helps - and really don't think you need to panic, at all.
xx

[BNCfan]

Thank you so much everyone, especially bex1970 for explaining about the GGT Enzyme - I was afraid to start Googling as I thought I'd end up frightening myself even more. I don't touch alcohol, never have, and you're right bex, the doc had written 'fatty liver' on the Ultra Sound request form. I have a vague memory that the GGT Enzyme might also be related to long term Valium use and I've been on it most of my life - 45 years or so. Jannne thanks for your PM, I will be in touch. You're such a kind lot on here and I actually cry - something I usually can't do to relieve the tension - just knowing someone out there does understand. I haven't got time to mention everybody who responded to my post, but thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I've never dared to go into the Chat Room, but maybe I should give it a try some time.