Paranoid/thoughts all the time with anxiety?

[phil06]

Does anybody get this? I am paranoid that people are watching, looking at me, or thinking bad things about me.

It's horrible my obsessive thoughts make me pick out words and I become paranoid it's meant for me. I just feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I end up needing to know what everybody is saying and I study the body language now. I now believe people have seen my negative thoughts and think its the real me. I feel I don't trust my own judgement anymore. How extreme can the negative thoughts get?

I'd like to think I can find the real me again but some thoughts are just so troubling and disturbing to handle. The HOCD ones just won't vanish and I am still scared of getting manic depression.

Like at work I feel I can be non anxious for say 1 minute and sometimes half an hour. I am just so convinced its real. I know someone on here said about having a worry time but I have tried to block the thoughts out most I went was three days, and it worked but my mind eventually gave in and I went back to the negative pattern.

I think the root of the problem is fear, then thoughts, then more fear the obsessions and compulsions. I'm just struggling bad to get over this as hard as I try. I feel it is getting in the way of my every day life. The perfection thing I refuse to buy a touch screen phone or a wii/or some clothes as I feel it's not man enough due to very bad HOCD.

I feel like somebody has put a curtain over my mind and put all this anxiety in it's place. When the thoughts come "I have no clear head" the thoughts some how make me fear and worry. They seem like they are real when I know they are not. It's like you eventually accept them and keep fighting it's horrible. I feel now what is it going to be next week? I have tired talking to a therapist before which helped physical symptoms they are more in control but I need some steps that will help get over them. Can anybody give me advice on successful ways or tasks I can do to get over these thoughts? Is it possible to clear my head? Will I feel how I use to before the negative thoughts came? :doh: :weep:

[Dublin_Man]

CBT ( cognitive behavioural therapy ) seems to be the most recommended therapyu for anxiety sufferers

just remember u arent alone , i get negative thoughts all the time , im sick of it , if i though positive id be over this problem

[Claire79]

Hiya Phil,

You are completely right, when the thoughts come you don't have a clear head, it's almost impossible to have a clear head when you're engaging in your thoughts this way. It's a very difficult habit to break but one I believe can be done.

I don't like the idea of distraction because I can't personally be bothered to go and do something everytime my thoughts turn nasty, but you know, it really does work.

I had a bit of a day of it yesterday, one tiny tiny thought set me off for the whole day and in the end I couldn't even pin it down to one thing, it was just a ramble of scary negative feelings all confirming what a horrible person I was. I was going to call in work sick but doing this would've been the first ever physical effect my ocd/anxiety would've had on my life so I didn't.

Anyway within an hour of being there I was fine! All the thoughts and feelings that had screwed me up all day suddenly processed as irrational once the cycle had broken. I'm a clever girl who knows a fair old bit about this subject and even I was utterly tricked by the thoughts.

Go and get the Wii or phone, you are being tricked, see this how someone without OCD would, it's a just console and a phone....there is no way in the world this could possibly confirm or suggest you're gay. Your OCD is just making you worry it might.

I really hope this doesn't trigger you but you will never find the proof you're looking for, there is not enough proof in this world to convince you you're not gay because your clever little ocd will always manage to find a doubt. Just think, what would it take to actually convince you? For me it would be to never think/worry about it again, that would be my proof, but as you know to try and not think of something is impossible!

Put some distance between you and your thoughts, I really do understand how difficult that can be because you 'just want to get to the bottom of it' but there is no bottom to it, it's just a journey of mental torture trying to find it.

You've already got 3 days under your belt, that's a massive achievement!

Lots of love, hope you're feeling better today. xx