Is it me?

[Duckie]

I am so happy with my hubby, my kids and my life.

But sometimes I lack friends. I try to form friendships. Somehow it just doesn't stick.

I panic alot about maybe I am saying too much, or maybe they don't want to hear from me. I am very supportive, I give my 100 percent. But I don't trust alot of people.

It's very hard to trust. I feel so down. Everyone that knows me say I am a great person, I am a wonderful mother, I support my children and my family. I even have Drs tell me how great it is to see that a parent knows everything about their child's condition.

If I am so great, then why is it that I don't have close friends? Is it me?

Sometimes I feel like I am just a bump on a log. I am afraid of people thinking badly of me or something.

Maybe I already said too much. :(

[LACEYA1961]

Hi, Ducky:)

I've belonged to a certain chat room for over 10 years now and that's where most of my friends are from. In fact, that's where I met my now husband! We knew each other from the room for five years or so then decided to meet and the rest is history...we just got married last September.

We host a "room" party at our house every year and that's how my online friends became friends in real life. They don't get to visit often because they're all over the country but I talk to them on the phone often and the closet ones will come visit every few months and stay a week or even just a weekend.

I use to think I talked too much about my health problems but then I told them "if I'm going to suffer you're going to suffer right along with me!" I mean, what are friends for right? lol They found that quite funny. But by sharing with them I've learned new things...like some of my health issues are normal for what I'm going through, etc..
I found out not too long ago that one of my online friends that I've known all these years also suffers from panic attacks. I never knew. She's been a great help for me recently and it's brought us closer. I only wish that one of my friends that go through what I go through lived in the same town as me so we can get better together.

Go to the chat for this forum and make you some friends...take Tetley's advice and get a pen pal. Look for a chat room in your area and you'll be surprised at how many people live near you. Maybe you can meet up with another person that understands what you're going through and you can face your recovery together.

Hope things get better for you, hon :)

Lacey