Advice on how to help my husband please

[MVP123]

A year ago somebody attacked my husband with an Iron Bar which was a pre-meditated attack. It left him with a head injury which thankfully wasn't permanent. Anyway in the last 6 months I have been diagnosed with suffering from anxiety and have been prescribed anti-depressants. I didn't actually witness the attack but was there for the aftermath which was terrifying, my husband also lost his job and we had to move very quickly. Somebody was arrested for this attack and there was a trial, however the person did not turn up and is still on the run I presume. Anyway the point to all this is, even though I'll admit to how I've been feeling and getting treatment for it, my husband has always said that he's fine (you know, typically male behaviour, I'm a man I can deal with it blah blah blah) and he has seemed fine for the last year. However for the last week he has been getting sudden extreme chills which frighten me when he gets them as he shakes so much it is like he is having a fit. He has also been suffering headaches and a lot of dizziness, which I know are classic symptoms of stress and anxiety. When I suggest this to him though he won't listen to me and absolutley refuses to go to the doctor. Could he start getting symptoms so long after the event, and could someone please give me any advice on how to help him, as he refuses to listen to me when I suggest he might be suffering with the same thing that I have got, and it should be worse for him as he was the one who was attacked. I also carry a lot of guilt for suffering with anxiety when it wasn't me who got hurt, so I desperately want to help him, I don't know what to do....... Does someone have any advice on how I can get him to see a Doctor??

[co-okie]

hey there,
you should explain to him that your terrible upset and worried about him and that if he could go to the doctor for you as well as him, im sorry to hear about your husband and you are a great person for supporting him.
co-okie
xxxx

[ade]

symptoms coming on well after the event certainly fits the profile of ptsd,after all it is post traumatic stress.the events,the attack are exactly the sort that cause ptsd and in his case it may be so.this may be good news as the symptoms are very unpleasant but ultimately harmless.i have battled ptsd for many years and if you can in some way encourage him to disclose to a gp,i can assurre you things may settle down for him
wish i could help more
ade xx

[eternally optimistic]

Thats terrible, no wonder your both feeling as you have. You must have been under a lot of pressure. It must feel like there is nowhere to run.

He definitely sounds like he could do with a visit to the doc's, even if it is just to rule out anxiety.

I too have suffered from PTSD for a long time, not really realising it.

Has your husband browsed this website - it might reassure him that what he is feeling is normal, if it is PTSD.

I hope you and him start to take the road to recovery and wish you well.

Take care.

[Lynnann]

Hi MVP,

PTSD is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation and your husbands attack was certainly that. It is not a weakness to have difficulty dealing with the aftermath of such a traumatic ordeal. A chat with his doctor would certainly help. Was he offered counselling from Victim support after his attack? Could they be approached to offer that to him again?

Maybe browsing this website might be something he might consider as we have other male suffrerers who are members here. It is possibly worse for a man to have lost control of a situation as they are expected by society to be the strong protective ones of the species. Knowing he is not alone with this might be an avenue for him to explore?

As for you well done for seeking help with your anxiety and for loving and caring enough about your husband to try to find some answers for him.:flowers:

You are a good person who had a traumatic situation thrust upon them so you really should not feel guilty about having difficulty processing what happened.

We are all human and need a little help at times and I hope that your husband finds the help he needs and deserves

Lynnann