Now the healing starts...

[rgb76]

Hi..New to this...still trying to navigate around the forums. I can trace back to exactly when my anxieties/p.a.s started. I was working silly hours in a care home, (if you please!) as an Asst.manager. I was speaking to my boss the morning after a sleep-in-when as usual sleep was limited. I was speaking to her, like giving a handover, when I had a pounding heart and thought what the hell is happening to me. I must've been so, so tired as with a new baby as well at home so wasn't having complete sleep at home(but wouldn't have changed that for the world as becoming a dad is the best thing I've ever achieved!).

Anyhow, when I then had to do handovers to staff I was aware of myself and situation became unreal. This has progressed even though I'm now a Care home manager. If I have to have a meeting I get so worked up about it and mull it over, though am trying to relax and breathe through this. I also think I suffer from S.A.D. as winter especially Jan and Feb are difficult for me as the anxiety lessens a bit in the Spring/Summer.

Has anyone recovered from this or just learned about themselves and how to deal with it? I wish I was like I used to be when I could talk more freely but I think there is also some low self- esteem in there too where I am comparing myself unfavourably with others around me.

Anyhow, thanks for reading this, tomorrow is another day..now the healing starts!

rgb

[Duckie]

I am learning alot RGB as I have been on this site for a short time. Thinking I had some fatal disease and trapped in my own world of panic. I remember when I was little thinking I was going to die from brain cancer. I was expecting to hear the worse time after time when I got my MRIs and CT scans and simply nothing is wrong. I suffer from migraines which I know that can be brought on by stress. I even get them during the time I am stressed. I can't handle stress at all. If I have to go to family reunions, if there is a conference of any sort that is great, or a workshop or anything I am totally freaking out about seeing all those scary people. I can't cope with that at all. Groups of people, will not, cannot do. I dread it.

Even today my girls van driver said no more dropping them off where we live (we live ontop of a hill) and because of how much snow we got he is afraid to get stuck. Well that stresses me out to no end. I worry about how cold they are, I worry that my one daughter has asthma and she cannot be in the cold too long, I worry about how long of a walk and it's not too bad. But the entire idea makes me panic, nervous and full of aniexty. I wish he would change his mind to benefit me the peace of mind that I need.

Realizing is half the battle, the rest is living day by day, moment by moment.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Hugs and :welcome:

Duckie xx

[rgb76]

:roflmao: :yesyes:

Hi Duckie

Thanks for your reply. Sorry to hear about the van driver not being able to drop your daughters off where you live. It just adds to your worries but maybe (I know it's difficult) try and see if there's a positive to this? (Not trying to be flippant) Even if you can't do anything else that day what can you do to reduce your anxiety about the girls walking to and from the drop-off point?

I purposefully walked outside today as I think I don'tr get enough daylight but then it isn't snowing here.

I went to the Doctor this morning and she has signed me off for 2 weeks and started me on 10 mg of Citalopram. I haven't had a day off sick for 3+ years but I am physically exhausted with the stress and anxiety. It was difficult enough to wait in the waiting room as I was feeling nauseous and slightly unreal. There was a man waiting sitting some way opposite but changed his position when he picked a magazine up so that he had his back to me. I started thinking was it me? Was I staring at him or make him feel uncomfortable or did he merely change his position because he wanted to. See how the mind works and runs away..Very impressed with the Doctor , very supportive

Take care rgb

[valleybear]

Hi and I know exactly how you feel. I had a panic attack during a practical exam and since then all times where I have had to be in situations similar cause me problems. The more you can control the event the better,so try to meet on your terms.I was a line manager for years and meetings were dreaded, I found that sitting in the midst of the staff instead of at the head of a table helped....deep breathing, and slowing down your speech if possible.. it is so easy to gabble when stressed and that produces a feeling of lack of control and so a vicious circle. Gradually I have overcome my worst attacks...can't say I ever enjoy the spotlight but have learned to cope..you will too. All the best

[rgb76]

Thanks mmac. It's horrible to lose the thread of what your saying and then I think this is where I mess it up and start to panic and then it happens but it is variable. I watch other people in meetings and think I wish I could just talk at ease 'off the top of my head like they do and not have to think about how or what I'm saying or do I look stupid!

Trying to slow down speaking will help and as ever trying to breathe calmly:yahoo:

Thanks rgb

[Ceejay]

RGB,

Sorry to hear of your predicament.

I would suggest that you look for a good local Hypnotherapist. what he would be looking for would be the connection (conflict?) between the original handover and what was going on at home at the time, with the baby. just playing with possibilites, there may have been thoughts of guilt at not being home to support your wife. This could then have led to anxiety; made much worse by the tiredness and which could then have triggered the first panic attack.

If you know the story of Pavlov's dog, you will have heard of the term and anchor i.e. something that relates a feeling or emotion to an event. In your case , the anchor is an element of the meeting situation, which subconsciously takes you back to the original cause and emotion connected to it.

The Hypnotherapist should be able to rectify the problem, fairly quickly and easily. This in turn will reduce/eliminate the overall anxiety that you continue to experience; especially when coupled with coping mechanisms that would be part of the treatment.

Good luck

Ceejay

ps If you want any advice finding a well-qualified Hypnotherapist, in your area, email me on cj@chrisjones.uk.com

[Duckie]

:roflmao: :yesyes:

Hi Duckie

Thanks for your reply. Sorry to hear about the van driver not being able to drop your daughters off where you live. It just adds to your worries but maybe (I know it's difficult) try and see if there's a positive to this? (Not trying to be flippant) Even if you can't do anything else that day what can you do to reduce your anxiety about the girls walking to and from the drop-off point?

I purposefully walked outside today as I think I don'tr get enough daylight but then it isn't snowing here.

I went to the Doctor this morning and she has signed me off for 2 weeks and started me on 10 mg of Citalopram. I haven't had a day off sick for 3+ years but I am physically exhausted with the stress and anxiety. It was difficult enough to wait in the waiting room as I was feeling nauseous and slightly unreal. There was a man waiting sitting some way opposite but changed his position when he picked a magazine up so that he had his back to me. I started thinking was it me? Was I staring at him or make him feel uncomfortable or did he merely change his position because he wanted to. See how the mind works and runs away..Very impressed with the Doctor , very supportive

Take care rgb


That's great about your doctor! Yea I am trying to be positive, I walk out and meet them and talk to them on the way up. I probably don't get enough sunlight either around here. It's so cold outside. I can't handle the cold. I should walk because it is beautiful out there.

I can't wait until it warms up a bit. Then I will be outside alot, hanging my laundry out and playing with the dogs. I am always cold no matter what!

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: A few hugs for you!

Duckie xx

[rgb76]

Thanks for the advice ceejay.I did have a bit of hypno about 4 years ago when this started but I will give it another go... was helpful at getting me to relax.

Thanks

rgb