I feel naive/stupid/ignorant

[Lone Raver]

Iv been living my life as a happy person with strong self esteem till I turned 20.

Now the world seems so different to me and I feel like Iv been living a lie.
I want to be with my friends but now I just feel like a broken toy around them.

:weep:

[alias_kev]

Hi Lone. No-one else has replied so I'll jump in as ever.

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I'm assuming this is all fairly recent and you aren't too much past 20 now?

What you describe is a fairly typical social anxiety (see the links on the left about Social Phobia and maybe Agoraphobia). There is often a link to Low Self Esteem although I suspect for some its the initial cause but for other is a symptom of their anxiety. You problems may be quite narrow like that or could be part of the wider spectrum of illnesses including broader anxiety and depression.

The biggest challenge with all these things is they interact and cause each other. I tend to thing of it as a big spectrum of things and each of us has a different mixture going on. Its sometimes useful to try and see which elements feel like the root of our personal problems, and which are the consequences. In a way you have to weigh yourself up against Depression, Anxiety, Phobias (incl. Social), Stress and Panic. See which apply to you and then feel if any of them was there to begin with, maybe even hiding behind more obvious symptoms or even your apparent happiness and activity. Remember also that Stress or Panic about something is simpler (and more rational) than random stress or panic. I also reckon there is (luckily) a lot of difference between an Attack of Panic and a Panic Attack. The symptoms are identical but the triggers and controlability are not.

It maybe that its just Social Anxiety and its jumped you quickly but (from here) its equally possible that you have a bigger picture going on. In my case it was always assumed that my problems were stress and depression but I came to realise that I'd had generalised anxiety for a long time and this either produced the other symptoms or was masked by them.

If you can share more about how or when this all started for you and how you feel we may all be able to help you more. One thing is you are not alone. There are lots of people on the site with Social Phobia/Agoraphobia (which can be similar in practice) if you read posts in the Introduction and Phobia forums you will see how many others there are.

Once again welcome and keep talking.

[Martin Ell]

Hi there,

A lot of people with social and another types of anxiety often feel like they're being stupid and ridiculous, but I and everyone else who suffers with anxiety can tell you you're not. Please don't feel stupid.

A hard part of having anxiety, for me anyway, is looking back at the person I used to be, how I used to be able to deal with lots of things, how I used to be able to do pretty much all the things I wanted to. I suppose it's hard when a sufferer of anxiety compares thier old 'care-free' self, with thier new 'broken' self. But at the same time, it also gives me great inspiration, because I look back at my old self as proof that I can actually live a happy life, and just knowing that with some effort I could return to my old self makes me more determined to beat this - and so can you.:)

You say that it all started when you turned 20. Was there a specific trigger? Or did it seem to come from no-where?

[tryingtocope]

Hi there, i just wanted to say that im 20 too and am exactly the same as you. Sorry i dont have any adivce for you, im hoping to find that myself too, but just wanted you to know youre not the only one :) welcome to the site

[Lone Raver]

thank you all.:)

[Lone Raver]

Hi there,

A lot of people with social and another types of anxiety often feel like they're being stupid and ridiculous, but I and everyone else who suffers with anxiety can tell you you're not. Please don't feel stupid.

A hard part of having anxiety, for me anyway, is looking back at the person I used to be, how I used to be able to deal with lots of things, how I used to be able to do pretty much all the things I wanted to. I suppose it's hard when a sufferer of anxiety compares thier old 'care-free' self, with thier new 'broken' self. But at the same time, it also gives me great inspiration, because I look back at my old self as proof that I can actually live a happy life, and just knowing that with some effort I could return to my old self makes me more determined to beat this - and so can you.:)

You say that it all started when you turned 20. Was there a specific trigger? Or did it seem to come from no-where?
I met a scary person. He said twisted awful things to me.

[Martin Ell]

I met a scary person. He said twisted awful things to me.

I'm sorry to hear this. Do you still see this person? If not, I'd suggest you forget about them and work on the anxiety that they've left you with. It's an unfortunate fact of life that along the way, we'll meet people who don't make us feel quite as good as we should, and they might do/say things that make us feel not so good.

Don't let this one person ruin what could be a great life for you. I'd suggest reading about anxiety on this site, and decide what the best course of action for you to take is, and of course this forum is always here to support you, and we're behind you 100% :)

[Lone Raver]

I left him and ran away.