tryingtocope
16-01-09, 09:19
hi i just wanted to indroduce myself a little bit and tell you all how thankful i am for finding this site!
Im 20 yrs old, and have had the fear of sick and being sick for as long as i can remember now! I think its something ive learned subconciously from my mum, she has also had anxiety, although shes been fine for a while now and ive only just found out about it. I HATE germs, especially 'sick germs', i will wash my hand until they are red raw if anyone ive been in contace with has been sick or feeling sick, whatever the reason.
I think it started after i got food poisoning around 5 yeras old, as a child (maybe aged 7 - 12) i hated being sent on sleepovers, eating other peoples food, the thought of being sick in someone elses house, the thought of being around 'careless people' who dont wash their hands constantly, or my friends eating sweets until they felt sick terrified me! But sometimes i got pushed into going, i would have to make my fried sleep facing away from me, incase she was accidentaly sick on me in the night.
This went away a little bit as i got older, around aged 14 - 18, but in the last year or so its back with a vengence. I have panic attacks and constant anxeity which are all based around being sick. The panic attacs started about a year ago, i was going to a funeral, and had been feeling a little 'off' throughout the morning, but didnt think too much of it, when i was in the funeral car (with all the relatives) i got a horrendous panic attack, suddenly felt so sick and panicking about what to do. I mean you can't just jump out of a moving car can you? Although i have to admit i nearly did! The thought of that was much less frightening than throwing up in it.
After that episode the attacks have slowly become more and more frequant, and the general anxiety is there everyday. At the moment what sets the attacks off is eating a meal, just at home with my partner. Why i don't know. If i eat on my own, im fine, if im eating with someone i instantly feel sick and sets off a panic attack which of course makes it worse. I cant eat in resturants, i cant use taxis (buses arnt too bad as i know i can get off) i hate being in my partners car it there is anyone but him in there with me, hate being in the back of cars (especially 3 door cars!!) It feels like my life is so restricted at the moment, im starting to loose friends because i wont go to pubs (means getting taxis) and im always dizzy when im at work, so thats suffering too.
Sorry about the essay, its just the fist time ive been able to get it all off my chest. My partner has no idea about any of this. Hes not the sort of person thats probes people with questions, he lets people come to him. I know i could tell him everything, but im not the sort of person that doesnt tell without being probed! Im scared he will think im mad.
Im sorry to everone thats in the same situation as me, i know how horrible it is, but im so glad your here let me know im not alone!
Im 20 yrs old, and have had the fear of sick and being sick for as long as i can remember now! I think its something ive learned subconciously from my mum, she has also had anxiety, although shes been fine for a while now and ive only just found out about it. I HATE germs, especially 'sick germs', i will wash my hand until they are red raw if anyone ive been in contace with has been sick or feeling sick, whatever the reason.
I think it started after i got food poisoning around 5 yeras old, as a child (maybe aged 7 - 12) i hated being sent on sleepovers, eating other peoples food, the thought of being sick in someone elses house, the thought of being around 'careless people' who dont wash their hands constantly, or my friends eating sweets until they felt sick terrified me! But sometimes i got pushed into going, i would have to make my fried sleep facing away from me, incase she was accidentaly sick on me in the night.
This went away a little bit as i got older, around aged 14 - 18, but in the last year or so its back with a vengence. I have panic attacks and constant anxeity which are all based around being sick. The panic attacs started about a year ago, i was going to a funeral, and had been feeling a little 'off' throughout the morning, but didnt think too much of it, when i was in the funeral car (with all the relatives) i got a horrendous panic attack, suddenly felt so sick and panicking about what to do. I mean you can't just jump out of a moving car can you? Although i have to admit i nearly did! The thought of that was much less frightening than throwing up in it.
After that episode the attacks have slowly become more and more frequant, and the general anxiety is there everyday. At the moment what sets the attacks off is eating a meal, just at home with my partner. Why i don't know. If i eat on my own, im fine, if im eating with someone i instantly feel sick and sets off a panic attack which of course makes it worse. I cant eat in resturants, i cant use taxis (buses arnt too bad as i know i can get off) i hate being in my partners car it there is anyone but him in there with me, hate being in the back of cars (especially 3 door cars!!) It feels like my life is so restricted at the moment, im starting to loose friends because i wont go to pubs (means getting taxis) and im always dizzy when im at work, so thats suffering too.
Sorry about the essay, its just the fist time ive been able to get it all off my chest. My partner has no idea about any of this. Hes not the sort of person thats probes people with questions, he lets people come to him. I know i could tell him everything, but im not the sort of person that doesnt tell without being probed! Im scared he will think im mad.
Im sorry to everone thats in the same situation as me, i know how horrible it is, but im so glad your here let me know im not alone!