Advice please!

[sam_1]

I feel like im in a rut. i have been unemployed for ages, due to depression anxiety etc. but ive jus started looking for a job, and it feels like nothing is goin right. also my sleepin pattern is messed up. i cannot sleep till 4/5am and even at that time i have to really make an effort to force sleep upon me, but then i end up sleepin throuh half the day and by the time i wake im too tired to do anything still! i also have a 3month old puppy who is incredibly cute and lovely but all i feel is guilt that im not giving him my all bcos i am exhausted. to my partner i just seem lazy but im not! i want to have a job i hate not havin my own money. I also have so many dreams at night, i spend more of my time in dreamland than reality.

Everytime things seem better they get worse. I feel like im wasting my life, but im jus so tired.

If anyone has any advice or similar situations id really appreciate it.

thanks, sam

[samc100]

Hi

I think you need to stop looking at the big picture of your life but break it down into different subjects and do-able pieces.

e.g.

1. you want to look at returning to work. So you might have to update a CV. Look on the internet at what jobs would suit you. Do you want to do what you did before or have a bash at something different? Part-time full-time. Write down what you can reasonably expect from yourself and then you'll have an action plan. Have a chat a the job centre about some training courses to get you back into the job market.

2.. Sleep - are you not sleeping at night cos' you sleep in the day? Perhaps you can take the puppy for a walk at the times you tend to fall asleep. If you adjust your body clock sleep might be easier for you at night?
And try a bedtime routine - go to bed early after a nice bath, read a gentle book, listen to nice music and just chill.

Anyway I think I am talking waffle now but you do want change things in your life and that's part the battle xxxx

[sam_1]

Thank you, thats really helpful advice. i seem to go through phases, like on week ill jus want to stay in bed or sleep and never wake, and others i feel i shud change and its these days tht areth worst bcos i cant bring myself to do anything. also i find myself being jealous of my boyfriend because he can go out nd has a life and sees people. does anyone else get jealous??

[stokeboy]

Hi You could try to do some volountary work whilst you are looking for a job to get you used to the routine of getting up and going out,without the pressure of a real job and the experience will be good on your CV.

You will have ups and down good weeks / days and bad ones.

Good luck

[Cherbear]

Hey hun,

I know how you feel. I went through a big phase where I wasn't at work/college and all I want to do was sleep and eat and I never socialised with anyone. I found doing a college course REALLY helped my confidence and meet people. I also did a life skills course, that may help you?

My mum was unemployed for years and years, it is very hard to get a job nowadays but thankfully she got her lucky break last year and you can too xx

[alias_kev]

Your depression may be adding to your need to sleep during the day (withdrawal combined with natural tiredness), and your anxiety making it hard to sleep at night (mind going on overtime worrying and negative rehearsal).
That's pretty much what happened to me. That does not mean you cannot fight it but its not automatic.

As others have said you need to get your body clock back to normal. As with jet lag some people cannot do that all at once. It may be worth picking a time of morning to get up (say 10am) and an alarm clock (!) and using that (and puppy) to make you get up. Then get to bed at a sensible time - after a few days of earlier starts you should be more tired. Also avoid cafeen, and high sugar drinks especially in the second half of the day.

Depending on how bad it is you might consider meds for the depression (in the shorter term at least). I found this freed me a bit - although other life events have conspired against me. Others reject meds so make your own choice. One obvious downside is that they take several weeks to work effectively and can make you more tired atleast in the short term.

You would need to fix your sleep pattern before starting work so its good to work on now. And not entirely being funny - you could look at shift work if you find it easier to be awake in the night!

[sam_1]

Thank you for you help everyone, really good advice. Nice to know i am not alone!xx