Why is it ALWAYS cancer?

[AnnieMags]

Dear all

I have suffered from relative health anxiety since childhood (I am now in my fifties) and my main fears have always centred around cancer and for a while, back in the 90s, HIV (I'm mostly over than one, thank goodness).

Of the cancers, breast is top of the list of fears, with the odd skin and bowel throw in, but they are usually shortlived. The worry of breast cancer is ongoing. I have had more examinations, ultrasounds and mammograms than I care to remember , with the mammograms bringing their own worry: have i overdone it on the radiation front? All that has ever been found have been numerous cysts, but never a suspicion of malignancy. Still, the thoughts churn on; have they missed something? A couple of months after the last examination, I begin to worry it is something new that was not there then. On and on it goes, you get the picture. At weekends I sometimes spend all day in my PJs and dressing gown, because if I shower and get dressed, I also HAVE to compulsively and obsessively check my breasts - I nearly always find or think I find something and the whole cycle starts all over again - it is so tiresome! :unsure:

I am now taking it one step further - for the last week or so I have had an ache in my lower back. I have not had an injury as far as I am aware, unless I have stretched or twisted awkwardly without noticing. I can of course not have a simple back ache like half the population of Britain - no, mine is my undiagnosed breast cancer that has now spread to my spine!! Does anyone else do this? The worst case scenario is always the most likely scenario in my mind - how can I stop this?

I am resisting going to the doctor at the moment - I have been too embarrassed to tell my GP about my HA and he would not have guessed - I don't go that often. (All the consultations about breast lumps have been justified as mostly there were lumps there, albeit always harmless ones, thank goodness).

Why is anything and everyting that is wrong with me always cancer??? :wacko:

Love to all from Annie

[Emaa]

I'm sure most of us with HA jump straight to the worst case senario. Like I don't get 'normal' headaches, It HAS to be a tumour or hemorrhage. - All I do is keep telling myself that it's a normal headache, take some paracetomol and try and distract myself. Distraction is normally the only way to calm me down.

You DEFINATLEY need to tell you gp about your HA, They will be able to help you more.
Do you receive any help for your anxiety at the moment?x

[AnnieMags]

Thanks, Emaa - no, I struggle on and mostly function OK-ish. I am too embarrassed to tell the GP about my HA and worry that if I tell him that I think every little twinge is metastatic cancer from my undiagnosed breast cancer, he will never take me seriously again! If this back pain does not settle down, I will most probably go and just tell him I have back ache, but leave out the self-diagnosis. I do worry, but it does not spoil every minute of every day, so at the moment I feel I am managing it. Distraction is a good point - mine is cross stitching. When you have to count those threads and keep track of your 'light lavender' and 'very light lavender' floss, you can't think about much else! :) Annie x

[countrygirl]

Please think again about telling your Dr about your health anxiety. My Dr told me that they always assume the patient is not worrying about anything sinister. She said she has been caught out causing patients worry by saying " I don't think its cancer because" and she said they look horrified because they hadn't given cancer a thought but she had then introduced the worry to them so she never says anything like that now - SO she said if someone is sitting there worrying they have cancer and I know they do not unless they tell me their worry I will not explain why I don't think they have cancer. I undertood what she meant.

So now I will tell her my symptoms and usually say what i fear - if I don't she will tell me what she thinks then ask me what i think so she can reassure me.

You may find he is very understanding and you can explain your fears.

[AnnieMags]

Thank you, Countrygirl - you and Emaa have both raised very valid points and it may well be that I will be better of "confessing" to my GP. :) Annie x

[Jan63]

I'm just the same - cancer is my main worry.:weep: I have a breast lump which I have to have checked out in the next two weeks at the hospital and I also worry about ovarian or cervical cancer because I have had a pain in my ovary for nearly two weeks now and I have convinced myself that's what it is.:weep: I know how you feel completely.:hugs:

[Trixie]

Dear all

I have suffered from relative health anxiety since childhood (I am now in my fifties) and my main fears have always centred around cancer and for a while, back in the 90s, HIV (I'm mostly over than one, thank goodness).

Of the cancers, breast is top of the list of fears, with the odd skin and bowel throw in, but they are usually shortlived. The worry of breast cancer is ongoing. I have had more examinations, ultrasounds and mammograms than I care to remember , with the mammograms bringing their own worry: have i overdone it on the radiation front? All that has ever been found have been numerous cysts, but never a suspicion of malignancy. Still, the thoughts churn on; have they missed something? A couple of months after the last examination, I begin to worry it is something new that was not there then. On and on it goes, you get the picture. At weekends I sometimes spend all day in my PJs and dressing gown, because if I shower and get dressed, I also HAVE to compulsively and obsessively check my breasts - I nearly always find or think I find something and the whole cycle starts all over again - it is so tiresome! :unsure:

I am now taking it one step further - for the last week or so I have had an ache in my lower back. I have not had an injury as far as I am aware, unless I have stretched or twisted awkwardly without noticing. I can of course not have a simple back ache like half the population of Britain - no, mine is my undiagnosed breast cancer that has now spread to my spine!! Does anyone else do this? The worst case scenario is always the most likely scenario in my mind - how can I stop this?

I am resisting going to the doctor at the moment - I have been too embarrassed to tell my GP about my HA and he would not have guessed - I don't go that often. (All the consultations about breast lumps have been justified as mostly there were lumps there, albeit always harmless ones, thank goodness).

Why is anything and everyting that is wrong with me always cancer??? :wacko:

Love to all from Annie


Because many people assume that cancer is a death sentence.

Two years ago I knew at least 4 women who had breast cancer. They had various treatment and they are now living life to the full (one has found herself a new boyfriend at the age of 60).

I know someone who had a double radical mastectomy when she was 21 she is now in her eighties and plodding on nicely.

OK there are people who are not so lucky but with the advance of science the cancers that were a death sentence years ago are today treatable.

[LeeBee]

Cancer is one of the most common HA fears. Along with heart disease, it is one of the biggest killers in the western world. Although, as Trixie says, survival rates are getting better.

Here's an example of HA in action. One of my wisdom teeth has been playing up so I Googled wisdom teeth. That led me on to hypodontia, which is fewer than the normal number of teeth (I have only one fully emerged wisdom tooth and four fewer molars than is usual). I read on Wikipedia that hypodontia may be associated with a greater risk of ovarian cancer. Which led me on to reading about ovarian cancer, the 'silent killer'.

I have hypodontia (greater risk), I drink a lot of milk (greater risk), I don't have children, have never breastfed and have never been on the contraceptive pill (except for a disastrous experiment when I was 18). All put me a greater risk, apparently. After a good couple of weeks I'm back in HA-land again.

I try hard to rationalise it. These are sometimes just single studies with relatively low numbers of participants. Having none of these risk factors doesn't mean that someone WON'T get ovarian cancer. Having all of them doesn't mean that they WILL get ovarian cancer. There we go. I'm all rational. :scared15:

[House fan]

Fear is indeed a terrible emotion. It is necessary of course, and useful for survival in the right circumstances, but to anyone who suffers from HA, the constant fear that we live in, in no doubt has the ability to play havoc with our daily lives.

And yet, when analized, fear is just another emotion. It cannot physically harm us, all of us know this, so why do we allow it to continually ruin our lives? We like to pin symptoms with answers, and a body which has been living in fear for a long time, a body wrought with constant tension, has lots of symptoms to offer, and will continually offer until we can truly accept that all these 'weird' symptoms, that we alone suffer from, are part of the fear adrenalin fear cycle.

Why cancer? Simply because it's the worst case scenario as Trixie has said. As I said, we like to find solutions for our ailments, and a person with HA is capable of finding all kinds of solutions..... most of them wrong! We don't suffer from 'colds', or have 'sore throats', it has to be more sinister than that, and the problem is, the more you analize a symptom, the more attention you give it, the more you will convince yourself that this is the begining of the end!

When we suffer from palpitations, or ectopic heart beats, we automatically accept that we have heart disease, and there is no doctor on this planet who can convince us otherwise. They may re-assure us for a while through all kinds of tests, but we always end up at the same place, alone with our symptoms, symptoms that no-one understands, symptoms that have been dismissed by everyone, including the medical profession. But these symptoms are mine, and I know that deep down I have heart disease, regardless of what they all think! There is no way that this can be anxiety related! I'm sure there are members out there who can relate to this.

We then feel angry that 'we alone in the world' suffer these terrible afflictions, and that no-one truly understands just how terrible our life is, and we convince ourselves that it's a downward spiral from here, with death looming just around the corner.

Yes, anxiety has the ability to ruin our daily lives, make no mistake about that! You are not alone. Sorry for the rant!

House.