Hi Megan here

[megan143]

Hello

I have spent all day reading this forum and what a help it has been, I have suffered from anxiety and panick attacks probably for about 20 years now, although I didn't really know what it was in the past.

Everytime I think I have beaten it it comes back with a vengence and I am having a really bad attack at the moment. The problem I have is I am never sure if I am geniunly ill or if it is panick, today I am in bed with a severe headache and feeling awful, but I was having panick attacks yesterday so not sure if I am really ill or if it is anxiety and of course I cant have a normal headache I have to have a brain tumour:)

I have been to the docs and he has reffered me to a councillor so we will see what that brings.

My biggest fear seems to be the fear of fainting or collasping, I went to the shops yesterday and I felt the usual feeling of oh my god I am going to faint I have to get out of here, I was standing in the queue and nearly run out before getting served. The shop woman must gave thought I was rude as I threw the money at her grabbed the stuff and run out back in to the safety of the car,

I also have a morbid fear of death, and I am obsessed if someone dies what did they die of - oh my god they were young, oh it is going to happen to me!!!! sounds totally unrational when I write it down, I just dont know what is wrong with me, I have a good job, great family and nice home but I seem to spend my days worrying about my health, I am still managing to work but have had days off due to my anxiety and when it comes really bad like this I just stay in bed till it passes.

My husband I think is getting sick of me and says oh what is wrong now, he gets annoyed at me for looking at medical sites and my kids are used to mum being in bed poorly.

I jst want to have a normal life free from anxiety and panick and instead of thinking what if this time there is something really wrong with me.

Love

Megan

[spaced]

:welcome: hi and welcome to NMP:)

[charlish74]

hi and welcome i can relate to you in some ways, i went through calling ambulances out nearly every week last month my husband got fed up with me to he knew there wasnt anything wrong with me i just needed to do it.as i worried so much i sat him down and explained it to him its really helped.i never worried about anything i always used to think i would never die mmmmmmm but sometimes i do think oh god what if i never had panic attacks or anxiety until 4 months ago it came on by ibs i think im on citalepram and propanonol i hate meds but they have helped take the edge of theres nothing wrong with them they take time to work and talking alot helps to hope you feel better soon xx

[lorac]

Hi Megan

Welcome to the site I think you will find some good advice and support on here.

Take care

Carol

[sunshine-lady]

Hi and:welcome: to NMP, pleased you found us. I'm sure you will like it here as there is so much advice, information and support. Remember you are never alone.

chat is fun too and a great place to make new friends:biggrin:

[valleybear]

Hi and Welcome to the site.. I am quite new too and like you have suffered or over 30 years. Some times are better than others and I'm sorry you are feeling low just now. I always feel headachy and washed out/ exhausted the day after bad panic attacks ..I just assume it is part of it. It is not agood idea for me to access health/medical sites (I have learned that from bitter experience) and I don't believe all meds are bad...Hope you are feeling a bit better, You will get loads of support from the people here.

[Pansy]

Hi Megan...........welcome. This site has been a great support to me, I hope you find it helps you.

There are many here who know exactly what you are feeling and going through. You are not alone.

Firstly I would definitely stop googling and checking health sites.............believe me there are many of us on this board who have had any illness you care to mention because we kept looking up our symptons. In the end you find you make your symptons fit whatever illness you are looking at.

I found CBT was helpful, it helps you retrain your mind to get rid of those negative thoughts.

Remember, although you feel really bad and panicky while you are out,
no-one died of anxiety.

I hope you feel better soon, keep posting because contact with others in your situation is helpful.

Look for books on the subject, Claire Weekes has some excellent books available. I'm sure that other members here can recomend other authors.

Good luck
Pansy

[Patty]

Hi Megan, :)

:welcome: to NMP. It's great that you've joined. There is so much information & help here.

I can so relate to the fear that you describe of 'fainting or collapsing'. Although I have worried many times about this it has never happened. I would also get the fear of death that you describe.

Hope it helps to know that you're not alone in how you're feeling.

Best wishes xx :flowers:

[weeble40]

Hi and a big welcome to NMP its great to have you here, hope to see you in chat sometime,

Take care

Emma xxx