in1peace
21-01-09, 22:55
I have been treated for Panic/Anxiety disorder and Depression for several years now. I've had great success with therapy and medication. Unfortunately, depression has come back around to kick me in the ass when I have the least resources available to me. I only now, after a year of working, am eligible for health insurance. My medication was recently changed from Celexa to Prozac because the Celexa was not helping. I was informed that the change will take time to affect me/help me feel better. This is not good. I am the sole bread-winner in my family, I have children to support, no health insurance and now getting out of bed everyday to go to my job has become a tremendous hell!! You have to understand, I used to go to work loving my job, loving that I had a job, being glad to be back in the working world from being a stay-at-home mom for years. If you know the chemical nature of depression, my desires for anything that I normally like doing have gone out the window. I'm not lazy, I WANT to work. I've been forcing myself to do "life as usual", but today I gave in. My head was pounding so hard and I was so dizzy that I physically could not work because of my mental inability. I had to sit down with my boss because he's being pressured to "do something" about me. I have to find a way to keep my job, and KEEP WORKING because I can't afford NOT to!!!
I don't have the money for my usual psychologist/psychiatrist therapy. I don't have vacation pay that I can use to take time off until my meds start working. I don't know what to do except come back to this site and look for people who "get me" and sound off. I don't know how to stay afloat. I feel very, very low right now.
How do I carry on? How do I not lose my job? How can I get better quicker???
I was so proud of myself to be working at doing an excellent job in a position at work that most people were afraid of. I was doing great! Now depression is kicking me back down and I have to wait for relief. This sucks so much. I hate mental health issues because no one in the working world seems to understand the true pain it causes. If I'd been hospitalized for an injury, everyone would understand and I wouldn't have to fear for my job. Now I have to explain stuff to a supervisor who isn't sure if I'm just a blubbering idiot who got lazy on him or if I'm really legitimately medically challenged. And getting help from a family physician as opposed to a mental health expert is like swimming against the stream!
Don't get me wrong, I'm still fighting, but today I feel stuck. I know I can't be the only one facing this. Anyone else been there, done that, wanna help me get through this? Anyone there (working, uninsured, and fighting depression) and want to stay afloat together?? I need a friend or friends. I need something. Ahggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Andrea aka "in1peace"
I don't have the money for my usual psychologist/psychiatrist therapy. I don't have vacation pay that I can use to take time off until my meds start working. I don't know what to do except come back to this site and look for people who "get me" and sound off. I don't know how to stay afloat. I feel very, very low right now.
How do I carry on? How do I not lose my job? How can I get better quicker???
I was so proud of myself to be working at doing an excellent job in a position at work that most people were afraid of. I was doing great! Now depression is kicking me back down and I have to wait for relief. This sucks so much. I hate mental health issues because no one in the working world seems to understand the true pain it causes. If I'd been hospitalized for an injury, everyone would understand and I wouldn't have to fear for my job. Now I have to explain stuff to a supervisor who isn't sure if I'm just a blubbering idiot who got lazy on him or if I'm really legitimately medically challenged. And getting help from a family physician as opposed to a mental health expert is like swimming against the stream!
Don't get me wrong, I'm still fighting, but today I feel stuck. I know I can't be the only one facing this. Anyone else been there, done that, wanna help me get through this? Anyone there (working, uninsured, and fighting depression) and want to stay afloat together?? I need a friend or friends. I need something. Ahggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Andrea aka "in1peace"