Trying so hard......

[lesleya]

Sorry in advance but i just need to rant and get things off my chest, because i feel as though im going to explode if i dont.
I cleaned my living room and kitchen from top to bottom this afternoon...cleaned the settee's, floors, woodwork, glass etc the lot. Then i let the dog out, but while i was making myself a cuppa the dog came back in and jumped all over the furniture...mud everwhere!!...i just sat and sobbed like a baby for over an hour then had to start all over again.
It got to me more because im in the middle of a Bullying/Harrassment grievance at work and its hanging over my head like a lead weight.
It would take too long to explain all of the things thats happened so this is just a short version. This person ** started work at the same place as me about 9 months ago. My team manager asked me to train her, so she was placed next to me so that i would be on hand if she needed help, and i did everything i could to help i really did.
In return for this for a few examples ive been bombarded with over 400 texts, had obscene things put on my desk..in my food etc etc (while this person insisted it was someone else) and like a mug i believed it:blush:
I should have realised earlier what this person was capable of because ** had only been working in our office for about 7 weeks when she encouraged a young colleague to complain about a male member of staff who incidentally has worked in the office for over 13 yrs..no bother, no problems before (nice chap) but this ** slyly started cruel rumours and as a result this man has been off sick for the last 6 months or so with stress.
Ive been told that she has previously worked for us in the past... came to work for a short time...went on the sick and never came back...no reason..no resignation given !! all of this was unknownst when she was interviewed otherwise she would never have been given the job.
I feel as though ive been forced into this grievance thing because it was insinuated that if i continued my sick leave over this matter and wasnt seen to be proactive doing something positive about it then i would go down the disciplinary path myself. I think management would like an excuse to get rid of this woman and im being used as a convenient scapegoat to do it...or am i being paranoid:shrug:
I had my grievance investigation interview on friday last week with an HR rep, an independant Ops Manager and my hubby came with me too for some moral support....to say i was grilled would be an understatement:scared15:
My anxiety and ps's are through the roof. Ive had non stop cold/flu since november and just cant shake it off. I get so tired easliy now too..and i just feel unwell most of the time.
Ive been asked what i would like the outcome of this to be, but i dont think there can be a good outcome now as i feel like i dont belong there anymore, which really upsets me because im good at my job..i got on well with everyone, and managed to keep myself to myself and not get involved.
Ive started counselling sessions through work and i think HR imagine when ive had my 6 sessions that it will miracuosly cure me? as they think i will be fit and ready to go back to work then.
Now im so confused i just cant think straight anymore.
Part of me wants to go back..part of me is terrified of going back.
I dont want to let my manager down...i dont want to let myself and my husband down.
If i manage to go back what will the repercussions be like..because i know this person will try to make herself out the innocent victim in all of this...and make me the villian and i couldnt bear that.
Sorry for going on but i dont know how to sort this mess out. Im trying so hard to pull myself together:weep: ..

[Utility]

Hi

I know it can be difficult but please don't get yourself distressed over something that at the end of the day is not your fault.
Your employer has to to look at all sides of the evidence before they can reach a conclusion.That is why at times you think, why are they questioning me? They also have strict emloyment guidelines they must follow in order to protect emloyees.
I can see by what you say that your employer is aware of your anxiety over this situation and are supportive through their counselling sessions. That is a positive step for any employer to take. The last thing they will want is a hard working, loyal employee unable to return as a result of stress through work related issues. They will not expect you to return to work after your 6 counselling sessions and think of it as some sort of instant cure.
Do not worry over the "what ifs" and "what might happens" because they never turn out to be as bad as people think they will be.
Just one final point. Are you a member of a union? They can help greatly in situations like this and you are perfectly entilted to have them present at any grievance meeting with your employer.

I manage over 50 members of staff and can assure you that your company will do everything they can in order to supprt any employee that may be going through a difficult period, for what ever reason.

[sunshine-lady]

Well said Utility.

Lesley, please keep fighting hun. Your employer has made a big mistake in remploying her and I think it was rather cheeky for her to apply for a job after what happened in the past. Surely this shows what sort of person she is. As for the texts, can you not get them traced?

Don't give into this bully and leave a job that you enjoyed and was settled in until she came on the scene. I think you will find a lot of people will be glad to see the back of her.

take care xxx