PDA

View Full Version : seeking help - how can we know if we are making progress..........



cheetah66
25-01-09, 18:26
Hi,
My names James and I'm seeking help on behalf of my mother who has been troubled by ' anxiety' now for 4 months since the death of my father.
She has always been a 'worrier' yet a very generous caring person, the 'rock' of the family but this illness has changed her so much. She has accepted my fathers death, but after many years of caring for him, in his declining health, she is at a loss to put in time
She has been on medication since last September and has seen a specialist several times but feels she is steadily getting worse and that she is losing her mind and especially her memory and that will have to be committed to hospital permanently.
She lives alone now, although there is family close at hand. She needs company but does not want to impose by visiting too much.Mornings are especially difficult - she dreads waking up - I have seen the tension, panic, tightness from when she wakes and this does not lift till ~dinnertime. Rest of the day is easier but she is frustrated by lack of energy, willpower and decision.
In short,Life for her is miserable (and agonising to watch), the illness is wearing her down physically and symptoms in the morning getting worse. Idon't feel the specialist has been helpful - I know he is right to say this is something Mum must fight but the most frustrating aspect, 5 months on is that we cannot point to signs of progress. She is becoming more withdrawn, no longer enjoys reading, cooking etc and the self confidence is falling fast.
I feel the drugs may be partly making her 'worse' but she does not feel able to reduce them in any way.
Although I try to encouraging her. I feel she is heading downhill. Both herself and the family need some 'milestones' to aim for and some idea of timescale that this will take before she 'turns a corner'
... would be good to hear from someone else who has been through this and came out the other side...:shrug:

spaced
25-01-09, 18:42
:welcome: hi and welcome to NMP:)

lorac
25-01-09, 19:39
Hi James

Welcome to the site, I think you will get some good advice and support on here.

Take care

Carol

sunshine-lady
25-01-09, 19:44
Hi and:welcome: to NMP, pleased you found us. I'm sure you will like it here as there is so much advice, information and support. Remember you are never alone.

chat is fun too and a great place to make new friends:biggrin:

Veronica H
25-01-09, 20:41
Hi James:welcome: .There is a brilliant book called 'self help for your nerves' by Dr claire Weekes available from the NMP shop and also free downloads to your MP3 of her work. I cannot recommend this enough as it really explains what is happening to us and how we can recover. Maybe you could download this for your mum. Has your mum had any bereavement counselling?I am so sorry that you have lost your Dad and are now worried about your mum, you are a good son to be helping like this. I think your mum needs time to accept rather than fight her feelings. As a carer she was probably exhausted before she had to face your father's death, and the energy will return in time. Best wishes.

Veronica

Patty
26-01-09, 01:21
Hi James,

:welcome: to NMP. It's great that you've joined. There is so much information & help here.

I am so sorry for the loss of your father. I am so sorry to hear that your mother is going through such a difficult time.

Best wishes

PHOBIA MAN
26-01-09, 01:33
counciling is something she might resist at first but tell her she cant go on like this! I'm a hypnotherapist and I deal with this stuff all the time, now treating a man who lost his wife and everything around him reminds him of her, so he's constantly hurting, but he's better now he's ble to share his feelings, feel free to contact me, if you wish.
Sorry to hear about Dad!

weeble40
27-01-09, 09:19
Hi and a big welcome to NMP its great to have you here, hope to see you in chat sometime,

Take care

Emma xxx