sex?! no thanx!

[Peru83]

I've been off sex for over a year now! My partner is driving me nuts as he always wants it. Sometimes I give in but thats exactly what it feels like 'giving in'. I still find him attractive and still love him so why can't I bring myself to be physical with him?

He did leave me for someone else about 2 1/2 yrs ago but I feel like I'm over that. When he first came back I didn't give him any because I was angry and couldn't face him but then we got out sex life back and it was good. For the past year though, I genuinly don't want it. If I was told that I could never have sex again, I think that I would be fine with that.

Does anyone else have/had this problem? Did you ever get passed it?
My partner has cheated before and I think he might do it again if I don't start doing something. I wouldn't blame him really, a year of no sex thats bound to get to any man!

"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most!"

[EmmaJane]

Yeah i know what your saying Lucy LOL

Feel free to PM me, if you want to talk.

Emma xx

Keep focused, keep positive.

[clickaway]

If it makes you feel any better, such feelings (or lack of) aren't just confined to women either lol

Just being patient....

Ray



Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.--Alice Walker

[seh1980]

This really is quite common. I'm the same. I think the desire does come back slowly but it takes some time..:D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[henri]

hi there,
this is an issue i've wanted to post about but have always been too embarrassed.
i have always had a relatively high sex drive and it has all but vanished since my panic attacks started (maybe should point out that i'm a woman..there has been lots of confusion about that on this site!).
i started asking myself why that was and realised that - sorry to be a bit graphic - it's all to do with the fact that sex gets your heart going. whenever my heart starts beating a bit faster i panic.
my only way of dealing with this, apart from just giving in, is to just take things really slow and make myself feel as relaxed as possible. but really, i haven't got any solutions!
hope it gets better for all of us...
henri x

[dan04]

I've never been on sex. My panic attacks started when I was 15 (6 years ago) and although I tried it I can't say it was something I enjoyed. The thought of sex, hell the thought of a woman wanting to hug me, makes me shudder. I don't know if I'll get over it, I don't really want to, I think I'd rather be on my own until I die.
Dan.

[Sarah-Jane]

Hi i can totally relate to the sex thing or lack of lol. Andy and i arent having sex and havent done so for about 7 months, just lately i feel the strain of working full time, 3 kids and looking after house all too much and draining the life out of me. At the moment i could cry and scream. feels as though nobody gives a s ** t about my feelings and the fact that the kids never seem to listen to what i tell them. i have just called in sick at work for the 2nd day now just feel i cant cope...what a faliour i feel. I just want my old self back not just the sarah-jane exisiting day to day. As for sex [?] i do have my toys and have gradually gotten back into playing to try and get my sex life back but without andy [?] but now feel hes stressed and every inch i give him he seems to run a mile im still not sleeping with him [:I] great start to married life eh oh well same s ** t different day eh!

Love & Hugs from Sarah-Jane xxxx

[LisaS]

hiya all,

i've also had a real decline in sex! ours used to be pretty frequent but since the panic/anxiety its been a bit random.. we did the deed on saturday and it was great (shut him up anyway!) and its fine once you get going - so give it a go, you might enjoy it!
lisa
xxx

"do not fear to hope...Each time we smell the autumn's dying scent, we know that primrose time will come again"

[mjh74]

As for another male perspective on things. I had about 2 years of feeling NOTHING sexual at all. Not a single urge, tingle, nothing. If someone asked me what the "doodah down below" was for, I'd have said "peeing out of!".
Then all of a sudden I'd get the odd quick urge again until these started to get stronger. I suffer pretty much continual anxiety so those feels are always pretty hit and miss for me now but they are there somewhere again!

Mark

[Alton]

I know that depression can make you lose your sex drive but I seem to have gone the other way!!! I can't get enough of it. I find that it really calms me down. I don't know if it is because it distracts me or the closeness and comfort.
I have always told my boyfriend that I wasn't like this with anyone else but he then worked out that we got together just after I came off citalopram. So I don't know if I have always been like this and the drugs surpressed it or I just really fancy my boyfriend!! What ever it is, once I get going it really does relax me.
Its funny how so many of us have the same issues/problems but with different "side effects".

[michelleann]

i also went of sex not only was i scared of my heart rate going up i also had the anxietys of getting pregnant even though i was on the pill, my hubby is having snip in september so hopefully we can have a better sex life

[Twila]

Hello, I have the same problem. I have NO!!!!!!!!!!! sex drive at all.[Sigh...] My spouse is the total opposite. i end up giving in just to make him go away and leave me alone. I have been getting panic attacks in the process and have to try and not go running like mad out of the room. This makes me dread it even more. We have been married for 26 years and it has not been good years either so maybe that is the reason. I sometimes wish he would find someone else. Hope you can find some kind of solution to your problems. Good luck!!!!!!


Twila










:):D

[hjm70]

hi guys

sorry to jump on this post but now im worried because since being diagnosed with GAD HA and panic disorder my sex drive has gone through the roof i thought i was like that coz having sex is the only time i feel really normal, but after reading your replies maybe there is something wrong with me!!!!?????

[Phill2]

Definatley not women only
One day my desire might come back
Phill

Don't believe everything you think.

[whatisitnow]

If your stressed sex is the first thing to go out the window. I wouldnt care if i never had it again to be honest. Although i do seem to only get about 3 months down the line then kind of want it [:I] But most the time i really cant be bothered & thats the main reason i enjoy being single at the moment. Regular sex & everything that goes with a relationship is more than ive got energy for right now.
Caz xxxx

Pete to win Big Brother! He is Daddy Fantastic with pants made of elastic!

[Rennie1989]

Hiya, well before you read on yes I am legal to have sex, lol.

Anyway when I have a panic attack or a bit depressed I do loose my sex drive for a while. I remember loosing it for a week, my boyfriend would call me, saying sexual things (funny though) and there's me not really feeling 'happy', but he is. It wouldn't suprise me if he got a bit frustrated with it.

Before loosing your sex drive did you have things that 'turned you on'? (sorry about the way I put it, lol) Mine are seeing my boyfriend topless and kissing. If so then do what ever you did to them to make you 'happy', I'm hoping it will work because it did for me, lol.

AKA Scooter Girl