View Full Version : Anxiety: Depersonalization and Derealization
Just interested to see how many people are experiencing symptoms of DP/DR with their anxiety.
I just get it when I am anxious. Its usually because I start to get really introspective with the worry that its building to a panic attack.
All the best
Nechtan
I suffered wth panic attacks when I was 13. I only felt DP/DR during a panic attack. Now i'm 22 and I get this feeling pretty much most of the time, it's horrible. It's more evident during anxious times but it can start when i'm not even anxious. The only thing that helps me relieve DP/DR is alcohol. I think everyone can feel derelization for a second if they wanted too, just simply questioning things like Why are we here? Does space go on for ever? Is this all real or just a dream? etc. That moment when you push your mind too far and think what the hell? The problem is, anxiety sufferers are always thinking, we're never in that "auto pilot mode" like non anxious people, we seem to observe everything.
Hope that makes sense :unsure: Just my view on it.
Its my main symtom, DP/DR. I have had anxiety 4 times in 30 years so have experienced DP etc long before now. However this is the longest episode I have ever had and I am just getting less scared of it and am doing most things now. I must say here that I am still not 100% and have to talk to myself at times when I am out and about, but over all I am doing a lot better than I was - I have been this way for 2.5 years now.
Shirley
I only experience it when I'm in a spell of particular bad anxiety. It's a terrible feeling and so subtle. Alcohol does seem to help my anxiety symptom as well, but I have had anxiety attacks while drinking and THAT is THE worse for me.
sunshine-lady
01-02-09, 13:14
I feel like it most of the time. Sometimes I feel as if I'm just watching the world go by, but I'm not part of it.
mestys,
I also feel it pretty much constantly. I struggle to find a meaning to life and constantly wonder why we're here and is it all real or some weird dream. I first had this about six years ago when i was 18. I managed to get over it for a while but something has triggered it off lately as I've had real bad DR/DP constantly for the last 3 months. Feel so depressed all the time
I feel it especially after a long period of anxiety (like now), its as though im closing in to protect myself from anymore anxiety..... i find it horrendous, like i cant get away from myself. I know its a very common symtom and does pass but it doesnt help when you are in it! :(
maisiesmumx
04-02-09, 15:06
i hate it i seem to get it most of the time and the only thing that helps is alcohol.....which brings on anxiety when i am hungover...so i am constantly on a roundabout...yippee!!!!
Here is the link again. I have had a lot of trouble with this too and am only just starting to not be as scared of it after nearly 3 years!
http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/depersonalisation_and_derealisation.html
It has affected my driving and everything else but now I think that the fog is lifting a bit and I am doing most things, even though I am not just 100% yet.
Shirley
Thanks for your reply guys. It's such a weird sensation, I've been so much better these past 2-3 weeks. My anxiety has subsided a lot and the DP/DR has also subsided along with it. I still get it every now and again but I just put it to the back of my mind and it seems to do the job. The trick is to distract yourself, I know this can be difficult when you're going through an anxious time but it seems to be the only way to help. The more and more you distract yourself and keep your mind busy the less anxious you will be and DP/DR will ease off. The trick is to stop thinking all the time and start living and go with the flow. Easier said than done of course. :D
leon_telford
13-02-09, 11:09
I just 'feel like I'm not alive and don't exist' when I get it, thankfully very rare I do.
As someone else summed up we are always thinking, hence we can't go into auto pilot mode like people who don't suffer from it.
Just feels like I can't touch anything and bascially I'm nothing and everything around me is nothing, just like it some kind of make believe 'World' inside my head.
If that makes sense? :huh:
Thanks Charles, I have just seen the video. I must say I like your explanation of DP/DR. However, I have also read somewhere that its all because, in a panic/anxiety state, we are always focussing inwards and worrying about how we feel, scanning for any symptoms etc and with all that inward thinking, focussing on ourselves, is there any wonder that we are detached from "the world". Also, our minds are tired with all that focussing on ourselves and that adds to the problem too. So maybe DP/DR is caused by a bit of what you say and a bit of what I have said above?
Shirley
Hi Charles, I was just sending you a PM but it told me that your mail box is full and will not accept anymore messages untill some are deleted.
Shirley
CharlesLinden
09-03-09, 11:24
Thanks Charles, I have just seen the video. I must say I like your explanation of DP/DR. However, I have also read somewhere that its all because, in a panic/anxiety state, we are always focussing inwards and worrying about how we feel, scanning for any symptoms etc and with all that inward thinking, focussing on ourselves, is there any wonder that we are detached from "the world". Also, our minds are tired with all that focussing on ourselves and that adds to the problem too. So maybe DP/DR is caused by a bit of what you say and a bit of what I have said above?
Shirley
You are probably right. I think the physiology of it is one thing, but how you react to it is another. I learned over time, to apply the same principles as when experiencing tooth ache or other chronic pain... I just learned, not to ignore it, but to project my consciousness through it! If you can do that, it's of great benefit. Let's be real here, it's going to be there like it or not, until the anxiety is eliminated, might as well 'carry on as normal'!
C
I get almost 'out of body experiences' like I am on the ceiling looking down on myself. Its most extreme when im really stressed or anxious, but it can happen any time, it can be very sary!
Hi Charles, I agree, the unreality is going to be there wether we like it or not so we may as well "carry on as normal".
I had my 4th breakdown in July 2006 and have had anxiety/unreality ever since. 2 years ago and even a year ago, I was a real mess.
A) Darent drive more than 2 miles into town in my car
B) Darent leave the car when I got into town!!
C) Would not dream of crossing a road in case I could not get back to the car in time
D) Would not go anywhere with my kids in case I could not cope with how I was feeling.
E) Would not get in a car with someone else in case I could not just leave or come home when I wanted to.
etc etc etc.
But since then, I have pushed myself and pushed myself in the direction of normality. Its not been easy, not one bit. It has been extremely difficult. But I persisted.
I started going into town in the car and walking further and further away from it and into the shops. I walked round the shops for weeks and weeks feeling really bad and hiding my tears but it has payed off in the end. It took time though.
I started driving a bit further, then further and making my trips longer, slowly but surely, so that I would gain some confidence.
I started going to Mc Donalds for an ice- cream with the kids, then extending that, bit by bit, so I could walk round the park or town with them.
And I have even had short trips with friends in their cars.
The best thing is that I have gone from not driving at all when I had the breakdown, to driving the 55 miles to my parents with hubby in the passenger seat.
But now I am approx 90% cured. Not only have I pushed myself the way I mention above but I now do voluntary work and go to college. I even went to a wedding last week and I enjoy going out for a coffee with my mate to near by garden centres etc.
On Saturday I went to a couple of garden centres with hubby in his car - he drove. We were gone from the house for about 2 hours. Now I had got into the habit of asking him for the keys if I ever dared go anywhere in the car with him, so I could run back to it and hide if I felt really bad. But on Saturday I could not be bothered asking for them!
Oh and I can even get on a bus into town too. Its only 10 minutes away but the point is that if I go on the bus, I am well away from both the car and the house, so no-where to run to if I feel rough! So far I have managed alright.
None of the above has been easy and I have even wondered at times if it would be better if I was "no longer here" but I have nearly come through to the other end. I know just how scary anxiety can be and I have felt just like Katie above with the unreality.
But we can all get over this. It may take time but it can be done.
Best Wishes.
Shirley
CharlesLinden
09-03-09, 14:28
Excellent Shirley. Well done. Charles
Thanks Charles. My next challenge is to drive to my parents on my own (just as I used to before the breakdown) or with the kids. I am thinking I will do it at Easter and if I do, it will be the first time I have driven to my parents without hubby in exactly 3 years. 2 years ago, I never dreamt I would ever drive again, let alone go down the motorway to my parents!!! If I can do it with hubby sitting there, I can do it without him being there. Goodness only knows, this last 2.5 years (Since July 2006) have been a massive challenge and I have had setbacks too. Bad ones. But I am getting there.
Shirley
CharlesLinden
09-03-09, 17:46
Thanks Charles. My next challenge is to drive to my parents on my own (just as I used to before the breakdown) or with the kids. I am thinking I will do it at Easter and if I do, it will be the first time I have driven to my parents without hubby in exactly 3 years. 2 years ago, I never dreamt I would ever drive again, let alone go down the motorway to my parents!!! If I can do it with hubby sitting there, I can do it without him being there. Goodness only knows, this last 2.5 years (Since July 2006) have been a massive challenge and I have had setbacks too. Bad ones. But I am getting there.
Shirley
Remember, agoraphobia and anxiety are emotional responses and have no relationship to geographic location so it doesn't matter where you are in the world, or who you are with, you are not connected to anyone or anything that can 'help' you. HOWEVER, you always have YOU there with you! Does that make sense? C
purplehaze
09-03-09, 17:58
Now that makes sense
We may feel being with our safe place or person will stop the panic/agoraphobia but the reality is these are just chains that hold us back.
well said charles and I must admit I never thought about it like that
I must admit that like purplehaze, I had not seen it like that. Its a good point.
Shirley
Wow I am so relieved to see that there are other people who experience these terrefying symptoms! I feel doomed when I feel like this and it's so disheartning I feel like I am just waiting to wake up from this nightmare and get back to my normal life! Is there anyone who is willing to chat about this over msg or something?? I feel like I really need to talk to someone, thanks
Julia
Hi Julia, I will chat if you want. I will PM you my e-mail address.
Shirley
football12345
19-03-09, 10:01
I get this quite alot of the time, even sometimes when I don't feel anxious about anything.
The best way I can describe it is that it feels as if I'm not in control of my actions.
Yeah, and it sucks horribly.
I'm aware of the little things you wouldn't really be worried about.. Like breathing, and all those aches and pains when that happends.. and that's how the panic starts to kick in.
Each time I try to stand or walk it feels like i'm trudging 10000 pounds behind me and i just wanna fall flat on my face,
but than i tell my self.. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU IT'S JUST STRESS RELAX. and even that dosn't help.. my mom has to slap me in the face at times.. it's horrible.. i just want things to go back to normal..
to be honest now i know what it iknow ive had it over 3oyears, finding out what it is and why it happens has helped a huge amount, indeed from being one of the worst things that happens to me its now one of the few i can really dealwith. So everyone it will pass and does no harm but it really is a horribe strange feeling
Gah! Depersonalization interferes with everything. Mine has lately manifested itself in this way: I'll be talking and all of a sudden, it's as if I'm talking without being connected to myself, part of me is thinking and responding to others and the other part is... well, separately aware of me talking and almost just watching myself talk. Bizarre to say the least, it makes me feel like I've lost myself. Then I get into a horrible chain of thoughts like, what makes a personality? What IS it? Is it made up? What's mine? Do I even have one? If everything is just my brain controlling things... what makes me feel like ME?
It goes on and on and on. Senseless questions that have no real concrete answers. But I agree with another post, earlier on, where someone said that the brain just latches on to the inexplainable or illogical. It keeps the anxiety going. You can start to feel really surreal and expansive and so apart from regular life. When it happens I just try and be as present as possible. It's something I've been honing through yoga, but I just find if I kind of try and empty my mind or be completely present... kind of like an animal that just acts and doesn't think... then I can sometimes get in a mode where I forget to think about myself for at least a little while. It never lasts completely, I inevitably realize I'm OK and then the whole self-attention starts again. But it's what's helped so far.
I have this at the moment and It totally sucks :( I keep thinking that nothing really exists, which is really irrational and stupid. But it bugs me no end and I just feel so tense all the time. I go through brief moments of thinking rationally and I feel better, but it soon creeps back in. Its been going on 3 weeks now, It's getting better than it was in the beginning It made me so depressed in the first week but now I'm just trying to deal with it.
Here is the link again Pennymoo to the page about DP/DR, or as I call it, unreality. It has helped me a lot over the years. Mine is better too, not perfect but better. It has taken 3 years to get to this "better" stage and I am so relieved. It is really awful isnt it. Anyway read this. I keep reminding myself of what it says when I feel unreal. Another thing I think of is this: What we resist, persists!!! In other words, if we fight and struggle and get mad etc with the DP/DR it will only last longer. So I try and just "go with it" and not struggle.
Hope this helps.
Shirley
I forgot the link didnt I?!!! Here it is:
http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/depersonalisation_and_derealisation.html
Hope it helps.
Shirley
I have had it recently during an extreme moment of anxiety. Sometimes when I have a bad migraine coming on I feel slightly disoriented and detached from the world.
They are weird feelings but I know from repeated personal experience that they do not do me any harm and they wear off eventually. So they don't scare me even though they are not particularly pleasant.
Don't be scared of them, they really do go away and they are not a symptom of any underlying medical problem.
I get it for about a week after a bad panic attack or in the throes of generalised anxiety.
It goes away after three or four days, I find, if you can achieve happiness for that period of time.
It's bad when I'm out, walking, or talking to someone I'm not comfortable around. I had to deal with it during a job interview the other day, that was nasty.
Doing something like watching TV or playing a videogame can help me forget the feeling. Interacting with people or trying to observe the real world will make it highly pronounced.
Thumbelina
09-06-09, 11:31
I suffered wth panic attacks when I was 13. I only felt DP/DR during a panic attack. Now i'm 22 and I get this feeling pretty much most of the time, it's horrible. It's more evident during anxious times but it can start when i'm not even anxious. The only thing that helps me relieve DP/DR is alcohol. I think everyone can feel derelization for a second if they wanted too, just simply questioning things like Why are we here? Does space go on for ever? Is this all real or just a dream? etc. That moment when you push your mind too far and think what the hell? The problem is, anxiety sufferers are always thinking, we're never in that "auto pilot mode" like non anxious people, we seem to observe everything.
Hope that makes sense :unsure: Just my view on it.
I know exactly what you mean by the questions you mentioned in you post.
I am always asking myself these questions when developing an anxiety round.
These are stupid questions that make no sense but they drive you mad.
Depersonalisation happens to me allot and at these moements i feel sometimes that my body separates from my thinking and can be verymuch withdrawn from the situation or activity. The fog can be so thick that i would be a total lunatic not knowing whats going on around and why.
This feelings are so disturbing and scary that i am still scared of them a bit, though i try not to be of the attacks themselves. But from my experience derealisation and depresonalisation come not only with attack, they can can come on its own when in prolonged constant high anxiety state. At least its with me.
Thanks,
This is my main and worst symptom, had it constant for 6 years since i was 13. Got bad now hence why ive started SSRI's after an intense period of health anxiety. Im hoping the citalopram will make it dissapear. I want my reality back!
Hey, Is this symptom the one where your eyes feel one place and your mind seems like its about 3ft behind them?
I wont do the vote untill I'm sure but if it is this then count me in.
goingmadder
12-06-09, 12:03
Pknorth,
I suppose thats a symptom too...I have wierd thoughts and feelings like that too when it hits me which is most of the time during bouts of anxiety...
Like suddenly become aware of a specific point in my body, or sense the distance between two things i can feel... or start feeling a part of my body with my mind that you would never have felt before like the back of your head...
Images of the blood rushing through veins and what not...
The sense that i do not exist, that people don't exist.. questioning how people can just go about their day...
Sit and watch people and wonder why they do what they do, like laughing, smiling, talking, interacting, dancing music... I hate it cos I love music and dancing yet when i " go into one" it make sme panic... the hows the whys the what ifs..
I wish i could just NOT THINK... if there were a way to shut off the part of my brain that is malfunctioning Oh the relief...
Trying to explain these sensations and thoughts to someone who has never experienced it is soooooo hard, and makes me feel even more nuts...
I feel like an alien sometimes, like im not meant to be here or im actually somewhere else dreaming this life...
Sorry for the waffling!
Hope everyone feels better today
X
I just wanted to say that this is one of my worst symptoms and mine can go on for weeks :(
Mestys....you have made me feel so much better becuase the way you describe it is EXACTLY how I feel. It's almost as though my brain is not meant to comprehend ideads of any magnitude and blocks everything away to protech me. I begin to think about where space must end but of course it can't end...what's beyond the nothing?? How are we sitting on this rock orbitting the sun - surely something that sounds so completely ridiculous can't be real?! Those thoughts run through my head and then I can't look at the sky/moon/sun/planes without feeling sick or confused.........
Thanks for making me feel like less of a freak :)
T x
I feel quite detached from the world a lot of the time and sometimes look back on things and think that people must think I'm crazy because it's almost like I'm not in control and say stuff and then come back to it. Or I swear that people can tell I'm forcing myself to go through 'normal' motions even though I'm not really there.
My sis also gets it a lot and we both at times feel like we're bumping through life - and get frustrated with each other and other people get frustrated with us because we can't compute things - but at other times we are so hyperfocussed and working at 10 times the speed of other peoples brains.
The other thing I get is dehydration which if I'm in a DP/DR mode is really unnerving... because I have the feeling magnified by the weird spaced out feeling of being dehydrated. That's the worst!!!
I know exactly what you mean by the questions you mentioned in you post.
I am always asking myself these questions when developing an anxiety round.
These are stupid questions that make no sense but they drive you mad.
Depersonalisation happens to me allot and at these moements i feel sometimes that my body separates from my thinking and can be verymuch withdrawn from the situation or activity. The fog can be so thick that i would be a total lunatic not knowing whats going on around and why.
This feelings are so disturbing and scary that i am still scared of them a bit, though i try not to be of the attacks themselves. But from my experience derealisation and depresonalisation come not only with attack, they can can come on its own when in prolonged constant high anxiety state. At least its with me.
Thanks,
That's exactly how my DP/DR started, through constant everyday anxiety. I've read up on this subject quite a bit and a few articles suggest that DP/DR is a natural state of mind that the brain triggers to deal with a traumatic event, in a way your brain is protecting its self by making things seems less real and distant, less emotional, makes sense eh? I think the only way to overcome DP/DR is to remove what is feeding it, that is of course anxiety, overcome this and DP/DR will go away.
I just wanted to say that this is one of my worst symptoms and mine can go on for weeks :(
Mestys....you have made me feel so much better becuase the way you describe it is EXACTLY how I feel. It's almost as though my brain is not meant to comprehend ideads of any magnitude and blocks everything away to protech me. I begin to think about where space must end but of course it can't end...what's beyond the nothing?? How are we sitting on this rock orbitting the sun - surely something that sounds so completely ridiculous can't be real?! Those thoughts run through my head and then I can't look at the sky/moon/sun/planes without feeling sick or confused.........
Thanks for making me feel like less of a freak :)
T x
I'm glad someone can relate to the way I'm feeling :). Ignorance is bliss, a lot of people don't even think or question these sorts of things, they just get on with their lives and don't worry. I wish I could be like that, when I was younger I didn't even think about these sorts of questions, life was better and a lot simpler then.
And you're not a freak, most people think about these sorts of things, problem is us anxiety sufferers over analyse.
Thanks for all your replys!
[/quote]
I didn't know how to articulate it before I read about it on here. But I get it when very anxious and during panic attacks.
this is my second period of anxiety/panic/depression.
I dont remember experiencing d&d the first time and was convinced I was going mad/losing the plot this time until I read about it on here.
Over the last 2 weeks I have had a day where I have felt normal which has reassured me I wont feel like this forever - once I bring my anxiety under control. It is so scarey though, I wont drive at the moment and havent been able to go out or get to work. This in itself makes me feel worse as I worry how I'll pay the mortgage if I cant work
I get that introspection feeling alot when i am anxious or if i have drank alcohol and have a hangover my nerves are really bad and also if my day is very different eg..maybe ive gone out for the day somewhere or maybe ive had to do something during the day i dont usually do..its so weird life really sucks at times.
I get that introspection feeling alot when i am anxious or if i have drank alcohol and have a hangover my nerves are really bad and also if my day is very different eg..maybe ive gone out for the day somewhere or maybe ive had to do something during the day i dont usually do..its so weird life really sucks at times.
I can totally relate to this, hangovers seem to make this whole feeling 10x worse, weird. When I used to have hangovers it didn't really effect me at all, now the day after drinking is totally unproductive as my anxiety + dp/dr is tenfold. There seems to be a strong link between hangovers and anxiety, if you google it there are quite a few people who experience the same thing.
oh my god..yes im always saying i wont drink so much etc., etc., but always do and always suffer...should stop drinking i guess alcohol and anxiety dont go well together..
I have started getting this feeling like theres a huge mist and im not taking things in properly/or then i can be taking in too much info at once. I get a feeling of strangeness and cant explain it, i know its scary. I have had panic attacks in the past although not had one for a couple of weeks now, but im hoping this derealisation/personalisation does not trigger them off again. Im getting myself some cherry plum bach remedy 2day for fear im going to lose the plot. Ang. x
I hate DP/DR. I had it really bad a couple of weeks ago and am getting it on and off at the moment. I keep questioning the 'meaning of life' and thinking so much about my purpose in life.
Thumbelina
28-07-09, 06:24
know exactly how you feel
I am actually most of all terrified when questions like what i am doing here and who i am start rising in my head. It scares everythign out of me.
I hate this. I really dont like getting these generalised questions in my head.
I know one thing - we have to keep repeating to yourselves that its not us - its the anxiety, panic or depression talking, and that it will pass away like it did before.
Take care
beerguy9000
29-07-09, 19:05
Im the same, when i remember back i actually think i had my first DR thing when i was about 13, didnt really understand what i was or tell anyone when it happened. only until my first panic attack i found out what they are.
Lately its like im walking around with a ckoud over my head almost on auto pilot, trying to convince myself that its not gonna happen again and of course from worrying about it i get them, vicious circle thats hard to break.
My dr/dp is slightly different to what you all expereince. Have you ever looked in a mirror for too long that you don't recognise your reflection anymore or say a word like 'spoon' over and over until it sounds strange and not associated it a spoon. I know it sounds stupid, but thats how dr/dp affects me. Its like I look around and I see a million things around me that I know I know, but at this point the feel unfamiliar - as if I'm looking at them for the first time. I find this my most terrifying symptom of my anxiety and it often makes my life hell. Does anyone else feel like this? :shrug:
I seem to be getting it all the time - my god I wish it would go!
Madeleine.x
has anyone ever tried citalopram for depersonalisation/derealisation?
Did it help? If not what medications did you try??
Both Citalopram and Prozac helped me with my anxiety and DP/DR symptoms but they both stopped working after a period of years, so it wasn't a 'cure'. I tend to have DP/DR symptoms particularly when it is cloudy or there is low pressure.
Hi i have only joined this site today and am finding i so helpful my main concern was this depersonalisation drealisation thing, because it is so hard to put into words i am not sure thats what i have so i am sure i am something else that I AM the one who is actually MAD on here, but reading through this i am beginning to actually think that i do have this, what yu say about looking in mirror and not recognising yourself and the "spoon" thing i have that feeling - sometimes i look in mirror and see my image and look and look and thinkg "is that me" yes its me, yes thats what i look like but at the same time dont recoginise myself - its so horrible, but i think the worse thing is not being able to explain it and therefore the fear that brings that you will never be able to explain it properly to anyone and therefore you will be the one person who is mad or schizophric or something - and at the same time you dont really want to know just in case -
Hope you are feeling bit better now anyway but just thought i would let you know i get the same feelings x
frightenedbutterfly
21-02-10, 11:48
I think I am stuck in a constant state of depersonalisation. It doesn't really cause me distress anymore but it does make personal care quite tricky. Why should I look after something that's not even mine kind of thing. I don't know if this is related but I get this feeling like I am somehow seperated from everyone else and that stops them being able to see me or talk to me. Yeah, that sounds a bit odd but it's the only way I can describe it.
Anybody suffered this for days solid?
E.g stopping them going out as much, doing regular things as the worry is so bad?
I've had days of feeling "not me" and disconnected from realty.
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