Help plz

[Noir]

Hiya

Im new to the site and new to panic attacks and would be grateful of some help, understanding.

I have read up on various internet sites but felt speaking to people directly would be more effective.

I am sorry for the war and peace but this is the situation

I met an amazing man two months ago , he is early 30s , has 3 children of whom he sees of weekends, he has also done time - about 5/6 years ago for 15months - - dont now if this help to understand situation but.....
I didnt know he had this condition, so for the last couple of weeks i have been suggesting we go out to new bars/resturant , theatre , pictures ect and he has seemed reluctant and says why cant we just get a takeaway and watch a dvd at home it doesnt matter what we do aslong as we are together - - but i feel nites in are nice but for a new couples its all about dating goin out spendin time learnin about each other , but he just hasent seemed intrested

Also he doesnt seem intrested in me sexual he wont randomly kiss or hug me and has not made a move to take things further despite staying over a couple times , also he is tired/exhausted come 11pm/12am even after a quiet relaxin day -- an he doesnt work

I have since found out he is on fluoxetine which from reading the internet explain his ocd , like triple checkin taps,doors ect before leaving the house or going to bed

I just need someone to put into simple everyday words for me the side effects of panic attacks and what i can do to help , is what iv said down to panic attacks or???
I just need help/ideas on get him out the house doin more with me an to also make him him enjoy life more by going to bars/clubs/resturants or even a holiday , as hes never even been to London let alone abroad

Any help is appricated an thanks for listening

:)

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Noir,

Welcome to the site and we have many here that do not suffer from anxiety and/or depression themselves but are carers of those that do. It sounds to me like perhaps your guy does suffer with OCD and perhaps some agoraphobia. He might also want to stay in for the night due to finances because he isn't working, I don't know. I do know that anti-depressants can sometime effect one's sex drive and performance so that could be the reason he is hesitant in that department.

As for what you can do.... Be supportive. Talk to him about how he feels and what he is going through. Ask him how long he has been feeling this way, etc. One thing you are right about is he does need to go out even if it is for walks. You might even ask what he was diagnosed with if he is comfortable talking about it. That would help a lot because panic attacks and depression are two entirely different things. Some people have both but your body reacts differently.

When you panic your heart races and sometimes you just feel like you are going to die. It is very hard to breath. With anxiety, personally speaking, I just worry about everything possible. Depression you can sometimes have trouble just getting out of bed somedays. If you look on the left side of the forum it will explain more in details.

Again, I would be supportive and not push him until he is ready. You have only known him for two months so if I were you I would go easy. Good luck with your relationship and I am glad you have found us.

Take care,

Laura

[mickh555]

see if he will come on here.Maybe in chat both of you?

[eeyorelover]

First I would like to say that it is wonderful that you are so willing to support him and are trying to educate yourself about anxiety/panic.

The help pages on this site will give you some great information in layman terms that will help a great deal!

You really should talk with him about what is going on with him.
It doesn't sound like you two have had any real dialogue about his issues and that should be something you two discuss.
It would help you to understand what is going on and it would help him to be able to talk with someone about it!

It is a good idea for him to get as much information as he can to help him get a handle on his anxiety issues.
Perhaps you could suggest he come on the site and read some of the help pages and some posts on the forum and see if this site could be of benefit to him!
Good luck and God bless!!
xxx
Sandy