hazy
01-02-09, 21:27
Hi,
Well what can I say like everyone on here I'm a sufferer of Anxiety, Health Anxiety to be precise, where the slightest ache or pain means doom, doom, doom. I am 38 and a Mum to two boys aged 3 1/2 and 8 and have been married for nearly 15 years to Chris who is a serving soldier in the army and we currently live in Germany.
It all started in March last year the 10th to be presice, I was feeling quite run down and so went to the Doctors and he suggested I have a blood test to establish whether anything was up. Knowing what I know now, I was suffering from stress due to everything I was doing each and every day. The next day I went for the test, quite straight forward and I wasn't worried, don't particularly like needles and certainly don't watch. For this blood test I was told to have nothing to eat or drink from 10pm the night before, so when I had my blood sample taken my stomach was completley empty not so much as a cuppa. Sat there in the nurses station she prepared everything and got on with taking blood, then it happened, I fainted, thankfully I was on the bed thingy so that was good, I came around and then bloody fainted again!!! I have always had a tendancy to faint at usually traumatic events, the time prior to that was having a drip put in when I went into hospital 3 years ago, the time before was when I had a miscarriage and was hemorageing 2 years before that, so its not a frequent thing.
When I came around after the second fainting bout they gave me glucose and tested my blood sugar etc, they couldn't see anything wrong. I lay there for two hours and just felt glued to the bed I just didn't want to leave, I was so scared, because I fainted twice, once would have been ok in my head but twice, why? My husband came to collect me and take me home when I walked out of the Doctors I felt so shakey and shivery and disabled if that makes sence. I got in the car and felt hurrendous and thought to myself that I must be suffering from shock, I got home and just lay on the settee, I went to bed for a while but didn't really sleep and felt just as cak when I woke up if not worse. I couldn't understand what I was feeling which scared me as I had never experienced anything like this before? I now realise that this was a panic attack with a huge bout of anxiety thrown in for good measure. This all happened on the Tuesday and I was just about feeling a fraction better by the weekend, I had convinced myself in the meantime that I was diabetic which I think was because of the Nurse testing my blood sugar and giving me some glucose, silly now I think about it. Anyway because I had been talking to my husband about being diabetic, he turned round to me on the Saturday night and suddenly said "I think I may be diabetic" I asked him why. He had asked me a couple of times over the previous few weeks whether I thought he looked gaunt, I said no I didn't and he said that work colleagues said he did. To be honest because I see him all the time I hadn't noticed. He then went on to tell me that he had lost 3 1/2 stone since Christmas. Jesus, I was horrified as he is a slim man anyway size 30 waist jeans, I then went on the internet to look up symtoms of diabetes and low and behold he had nearly all of them. It was dredful, here sat this relatively fit soldier, smoker and drinker, ex-para who is rarely ill other than the occasional cold or some lurgy that we have caught from the kids. The look in his face, anyway I said that he should maybe ring the emergency Doctors service the next day, he said its fine I will wait until Tuesday when he had already got an appointment. The next day I was sat in the garden and heard him on the phone in the kitchen to the Med Centre, I went into the kitchen and he burst into tears to the nurse, I had no idea he was so worried, I took the phone from him and the nurse basically said just tell him its fine it could be anything and I went on to explain that he had nearly all the symptoms. The conversation ended where she said tell him to just sit it out until his appointment and we hung up. A few minutes later she rang back saying she had spoken to a Doctor who happened to be a diabetic and the Doctor suggested he came in just to be checked, so off he went, I stayed home with the kids and paced back and forth it was hurrendous and my anxiety was paramount. He came home an hour later, and burst into tears saying "I'm type 1 diabetic and I have to go to hospital, my blood sugar levels are dangerously high and on the brink of a coma"!!! Oh my God, panic wasn't the word I took everything in hand packed a bag for him and dropped the kids off with a friend and drove him to hospital which was one of the most hurrendous car journeys of my life, here's Chris sat there just been told he will be insulin dependent for the rest of his life and me, well I felt I was on the brink of fainting at any moment and my anxiety, which I must emphasise I had no idea what anxiety and panic attacks were at this point and so I was feeling as though I was going to die at any moment. We got him admitted and he had various x-rays and tests and then was settled in the ward and I left, the drive home was just as hurrendous and the drive there and each drive too and from the hospital from that point on was equally as hurrendous.
I feel very guilty and selfish to say it but when we initially arrived at the hospital I was more concerned for myself than him as I had no clue as to what was happening to me and almost had to see a Doctor myself. He was discharged 5 days later and that's when the fun began.
I was so ignorant about diabetes and so was he, he is never one for fuss and so it was the blind leading the blind. I was convinced that he was going to keel over at any moment, in the first few weeks it seemed everytime we went out anywhere he would have a wobbly moment. This really really scared me and didn't dare leave him on his own with the kids. My brother came over to visit and Chris stayed up with him drinking Jack Daniels until 3am the worst thing he could possibly do, the next day again knowing what I know now he should have gone to hospital I couldn't wake him up it although he was stirring when I spoke to him, this flared my anxiety.
Anyway a few weeks later he went to the Docs for a check up and ended up being sent to the hospital due to high blood pressure where they wired him up for 48 hours to this mobile blood pressure monitor, he was allowed home but I wasn't expecting him to walk through the door all wired up, again the panic set in, then he was told he had high colestrol so again panic set in. Then a week later I neighbour who I didn't know died from cervical cancer which shocked me, then a close friends husband who was 37 had a stroke, he is still in re-hab. It was a combination of loads of people becomming ill and it scared the hell out of me and made me think it could be me next.
I battled on not knowing what the hell was wrong with me, until August when a friend said it could be depression, I googled depression and that's where I found an article on panic attacks and anxiety and thats when I realised what was wrong. Do you know I went to the Doctors in June explained every sympton which was you would think to a Doctor would scream anxiety but no she said I had flu and prescribed paracetamol??
In June, July I started with a lower abdominal ache, similar to a period pain, I couldn't understand why but eventually had the meriva coil removed as a result thinking it was that, it wasn't eventually I realised it was anxiety, I was referred to hospital for a scan in the September but I cancelled as the ache stopped. That was that the panic attacks and anxiety seemed to stop I felt my normal self again which was great, until now.
At the moment in the last half an hour I have pains in my chest which I think is how I am sat? I nearly fainted on Wednesday with stomach ache which lead around into my back, hips and pelvis, I went to the Doctors and he has referred me to have an x-ray which I am going for tomorrow I am scared of what they are going to say, my imagination is running away with me even though the stomach ache has not been as bad for the last day and a half.
So that's my story I am sorry its so long winded, I feel vey passionate about anxiety and panic attacks and was thrilled when someone suggested this web site it is a comforting thought to know so many people feel like me, I wish they would discover a magic cure.
Thanks for reading and good luck xx
Well what can I say like everyone on here I'm a sufferer of Anxiety, Health Anxiety to be precise, where the slightest ache or pain means doom, doom, doom. I am 38 and a Mum to two boys aged 3 1/2 and 8 and have been married for nearly 15 years to Chris who is a serving soldier in the army and we currently live in Germany.
It all started in March last year the 10th to be presice, I was feeling quite run down and so went to the Doctors and he suggested I have a blood test to establish whether anything was up. Knowing what I know now, I was suffering from stress due to everything I was doing each and every day. The next day I went for the test, quite straight forward and I wasn't worried, don't particularly like needles and certainly don't watch. For this blood test I was told to have nothing to eat or drink from 10pm the night before, so when I had my blood sample taken my stomach was completley empty not so much as a cuppa. Sat there in the nurses station she prepared everything and got on with taking blood, then it happened, I fainted, thankfully I was on the bed thingy so that was good, I came around and then bloody fainted again!!! I have always had a tendancy to faint at usually traumatic events, the time prior to that was having a drip put in when I went into hospital 3 years ago, the time before was when I had a miscarriage and was hemorageing 2 years before that, so its not a frequent thing.
When I came around after the second fainting bout they gave me glucose and tested my blood sugar etc, they couldn't see anything wrong. I lay there for two hours and just felt glued to the bed I just didn't want to leave, I was so scared, because I fainted twice, once would have been ok in my head but twice, why? My husband came to collect me and take me home when I walked out of the Doctors I felt so shakey and shivery and disabled if that makes sence. I got in the car and felt hurrendous and thought to myself that I must be suffering from shock, I got home and just lay on the settee, I went to bed for a while but didn't really sleep and felt just as cak when I woke up if not worse. I couldn't understand what I was feeling which scared me as I had never experienced anything like this before? I now realise that this was a panic attack with a huge bout of anxiety thrown in for good measure. This all happened on the Tuesday and I was just about feeling a fraction better by the weekend, I had convinced myself in the meantime that I was diabetic which I think was because of the Nurse testing my blood sugar and giving me some glucose, silly now I think about it. Anyway because I had been talking to my husband about being diabetic, he turned round to me on the Saturday night and suddenly said "I think I may be diabetic" I asked him why. He had asked me a couple of times over the previous few weeks whether I thought he looked gaunt, I said no I didn't and he said that work colleagues said he did. To be honest because I see him all the time I hadn't noticed. He then went on to tell me that he had lost 3 1/2 stone since Christmas. Jesus, I was horrified as he is a slim man anyway size 30 waist jeans, I then went on the internet to look up symtoms of diabetes and low and behold he had nearly all of them. It was dredful, here sat this relatively fit soldier, smoker and drinker, ex-para who is rarely ill other than the occasional cold or some lurgy that we have caught from the kids. The look in his face, anyway I said that he should maybe ring the emergency Doctors service the next day, he said its fine I will wait until Tuesday when he had already got an appointment. The next day I was sat in the garden and heard him on the phone in the kitchen to the Med Centre, I went into the kitchen and he burst into tears to the nurse, I had no idea he was so worried, I took the phone from him and the nurse basically said just tell him its fine it could be anything and I went on to explain that he had nearly all the symptoms. The conversation ended where she said tell him to just sit it out until his appointment and we hung up. A few minutes later she rang back saying she had spoken to a Doctor who happened to be a diabetic and the Doctor suggested he came in just to be checked, so off he went, I stayed home with the kids and paced back and forth it was hurrendous and my anxiety was paramount. He came home an hour later, and burst into tears saying "I'm type 1 diabetic and I have to go to hospital, my blood sugar levels are dangerously high and on the brink of a coma"!!! Oh my God, panic wasn't the word I took everything in hand packed a bag for him and dropped the kids off with a friend and drove him to hospital which was one of the most hurrendous car journeys of my life, here's Chris sat there just been told he will be insulin dependent for the rest of his life and me, well I felt I was on the brink of fainting at any moment and my anxiety, which I must emphasise I had no idea what anxiety and panic attacks were at this point and so I was feeling as though I was going to die at any moment. We got him admitted and he had various x-rays and tests and then was settled in the ward and I left, the drive home was just as hurrendous and the drive there and each drive too and from the hospital from that point on was equally as hurrendous.
I feel very guilty and selfish to say it but when we initially arrived at the hospital I was more concerned for myself than him as I had no clue as to what was happening to me and almost had to see a Doctor myself. He was discharged 5 days later and that's when the fun began.
I was so ignorant about diabetes and so was he, he is never one for fuss and so it was the blind leading the blind. I was convinced that he was going to keel over at any moment, in the first few weeks it seemed everytime we went out anywhere he would have a wobbly moment. This really really scared me and didn't dare leave him on his own with the kids. My brother came over to visit and Chris stayed up with him drinking Jack Daniels until 3am the worst thing he could possibly do, the next day again knowing what I know now he should have gone to hospital I couldn't wake him up it although he was stirring when I spoke to him, this flared my anxiety.
Anyway a few weeks later he went to the Docs for a check up and ended up being sent to the hospital due to high blood pressure where they wired him up for 48 hours to this mobile blood pressure monitor, he was allowed home but I wasn't expecting him to walk through the door all wired up, again the panic set in, then he was told he had high colestrol so again panic set in. Then a week later I neighbour who I didn't know died from cervical cancer which shocked me, then a close friends husband who was 37 had a stroke, he is still in re-hab. It was a combination of loads of people becomming ill and it scared the hell out of me and made me think it could be me next.
I battled on not knowing what the hell was wrong with me, until August when a friend said it could be depression, I googled depression and that's where I found an article on panic attacks and anxiety and thats when I realised what was wrong. Do you know I went to the Doctors in June explained every sympton which was you would think to a Doctor would scream anxiety but no she said I had flu and prescribed paracetamol??
In June, July I started with a lower abdominal ache, similar to a period pain, I couldn't understand why but eventually had the meriva coil removed as a result thinking it was that, it wasn't eventually I realised it was anxiety, I was referred to hospital for a scan in the September but I cancelled as the ache stopped. That was that the panic attacks and anxiety seemed to stop I felt my normal self again which was great, until now.
At the moment in the last half an hour I have pains in my chest which I think is how I am sat? I nearly fainted on Wednesday with stomach ache which lead around into my back, hips and pelvis, I went to the Doctors and he has referred me to have an x-ray which I am going for tomorrow I am scared of what they are going to say, my imagination is running away with me even though the stomach ache has not been as bad for the last day and a half.
So that's my story I am sorry its so long winded, I feel vey passionate about anxiety and panic attacks and was thrilled when someone suggested this web site it is a comforting thought to know so many people feel like me, I wish they would discover a magic cure.
Thanks for reading and good luck xx