real hard night

[darkphantom]

I know i deserve all the pain i am geting at the moment, I had the plaster taken off my hand to day, waste of time, it no better the tendon is still off the knuckle and swollen, it hurts to bend it and got pins and needles in two fingers, doc has put it in a splint. have to see how it goes in next couple weeks. it hurts lot tonight.
Plus i worried bout a friend i meet on another site she was helping but has been so quiet one turned nasty but she was helping i trying so hard but people still leaving me and i dont know what ive done.
I scared to get close to anyone .
I also so worried bout a friend here, we seem to have gotten close in such a short time, i think the world of her i scared in case i lose her.
I cant sleep to nite in pain and tears, i trying to fight this i was doing well
but i dont know why i am, cause everytime i move forward towards people they move back.
I so much want someone to come up to me and give me a hug and not let go.
dont know what happening tonight sorry i down i think i ask the doc for tabs to knock me out for all next month and wake up in september.
sorry perhaps i disappear

[Karen]

Hi Susie

Sorry you were feeling so bad last night. I hope things are a little better this morning.

Your hand does sound really sore, but you do not deserve to be in pain. I do empathise with how you are feeling about this, as I bashed my hand too the other night and this is now painful. This is the problem with self-harm, because although it helps to relieve the feelings of emotional pain and distress at the time, afterwards I know I am left with feelings of shame and guilt for not being able to resist the urge to harm myself.

You are doing your best though Susie and no one can ask for more. Ok, so you might have given in that time and battered your hand, however concentrate instead on the times when you do resist and you find other ways to deal with the feelings that lead to the physical harm.

It can help to plan a strategy for how you will cope when you become tempted to self-harm. The first part of this could be to try to distract yourself. Carry out some activity you enjoy, preferably something which requires total concentration. Perhaps you could come online and talk to a friend, or post here before you get as far as feeling like you are going to hurt yourself.

Getting out of the house, even for a short walk can help, or perhaps do some relaxation using a relaxation CD, or something like yoga is good.

Regarding your friend on another site, there could be any number of reasons why she is quiet at the moment and none of them to do with you. She could be busy, or perhaps she has her own problems she is dealing with. Anyone who turns nasty on you isn't a friend in the first place.

I can understand your worries about getting close to people for fear of them leaving you. You could help protect yourself from this by building a wide circle of friends. It is natural to feel closer to some people than others.

We are not going anywhere Susie and are not going to leave you. So you stay right here with us.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[pips]

Hi Susie,

It's so not your fault at at i do understand. I felt like you also. Please see this post i done a while ago. Keeping Friends! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3812)

Thanks to these guys though who helped enormoulsly.:D[Wow!]

Like yourself I am so afraid of rejection and getting hurt to.[8)]

You are a lovely caring sensitive kind person and we need you around. Please don't forget that and the wonderful qualities you poses.[Yeah!]

Stay Strong hun.;)

Love and a BIG HUG.

PIP'S X X

[Meg]

Hey Susie,

**I know i deserve all the pain i am geting at the moment**

You may have brought it on but so do silly skiers who ski beyond their capabilities and lose control and get hurt....

Remember the things about forums such as this one is their anonymity and thus people are not always what they appear to be initially especially on forums where most people have their own issues.

Also one of the joys is that you can log on and off at random and not be exepected to contribute anything to anyone if you don't feel up to it that day or just don't want to.

Its worthwhile not building up your expectations about anyone but instead appreciating whats offered and you can offer daily.

Usually these silences from people are a lot less personal than you interpret them as. It may mean that person has bene busy or out of sorts etc not that they are avoiding you.




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[pinkscrumpy]

Susie.

After texting with you the other night, If you feel like this again whatever time, Please please PLEASE text me again I say WHATEVER TIME, my mobile is always with me and I don't sleep much either and if you feel up to it as you are as shy as me, I will pluck up thye courage and ring U and we can moan together.

Loads of love

[^][^][:I]

MANDIE XX

[BrandyK]

Hi Susie,

I hope you are really starting to feel better.

Remember you can PM me or my e-mail is

allstar179@hotmail.com

Brandyxx

"Never give up the Fight!"

[Sax]

Hey Susie,

I am so sorry you are having a hard night and finding sleep so difficult.

NO ONE DESERVES PAIN whether self inflicted or not! An injury however caused is trauma to the body which affects both the physical and psychological response of how you are feeling. I do hope you can get something adequate to relieve your pain soon.

I have pmed a longer response but just wanted to say thinking of you and hope today is better for you.

Take care and catch you soon maybe in 'chat'.

Sax xx

[leo05]

hi susie
i know you worried bout me but dont be
i tried to ring you both home and moby and even txt you but got msg saying not sent i know that i were not my end as i txt and spoke to others

i want to know you but sometimes i say stuff i dont mean
sorry if i have hurt you but did not mean too! [:X]

you tried to ring me today but b4 i answer you cut off

are you still talking to me?