View Full Version : Help needed - back to work interview
Hi
On Thursday I have been asked to come into work for a meeting with my line manager and someone from HR to talk about "my health"
I have been off now for 4 weeks and have this week and next before I am due back - all being well.
I do want to go back to work but naturally I am scared, it's the first time I have been off with anxiety in this job (I have suffered with GAD for years and years but have managed to control it well until recently).
I want to make some suggestions to them about the kinds of things that would help me return to work succesfully - can anyone think of things that might help. I work fulltime - 37.5 a hour - at the moment,.
Any help gratefully received!!!!
L x
Hope you don't mind me askin but what job do you do? Do you work shifts?
I am a manager in the NHS - dont work shifts. My manager is a workaholic so expects everyone to work longer than 37.5 hours.
Ahhhh! The delightful NHS - me too!!
It's good that you don't work shifts. Can you afford to drop any hours? Maybe down to 30, which would be 4 days a week. Or maybe shorter hours, say, if you struggle in the mornings, start a bit later every day or if by the end of the day you're feeling drained, finish earlier??
Have you seen the occi health department - either referred by manager or self referred? They might have some suggestions.
You can't be expected to share your manager's unrealistic approach to working hours. Is that what forced you off sick in the first place?
You've got to look after yourself because no one else will. I've found that out the hard way whilst working in the NHS.
nervouswreck
03-02-09, 14:31
Hi lushkat .. I am in the same position as yourself ( although im waiting for them to contact me ) i have been off 5 weeks and really dont want to go back ... My line manager also expects us to work a 60 hr week and to be paid for 39 !! However i feel i cant explain things to my manager for fear of repraisals , I know how she works and would probablly manage me out of the business. I feel I should contact her to arrange a meeting to discuss me coming back but i just get into a huge panic just thinking about it i work myself up so much i start crying and shaking and if my boss sees me in that state ... well i just dont want to think about it. It would be good to know how others would cope with this situation . Im sorry im no help but at least your not alone .
wishing you loads of luck xxxxxxx
Hi Lushkat and others on this thread
I am in a similar position and can really relate to what you are going through. I have been off 3 weeks and have a week to go before I am due to return to work
I too have been keeping GAD under control until recently. I have an Occ. Health appt next Monday and just hope I feel able to return to work. I am Manager and my line manager is also someone who is relentless with the workload and says we will always be 'busy' and said to me that the 'job won't go away'...very helpful when I'm struggling to cope with work!
Anyhow, I am just starting a computer CBT course which means I will have to face my fears but when...? We will have to be as honest as we can with our bosses. I have told my boss it is the workload and although she has been dismissive in her approach I will be telling Occ health this and my GP said that they will have to change something at work in order for me to return...that the problem is 'theirs not mine.'
I do feel so guilty for being off but at the moment feel awful thinking of going back to work...hope these feelings pass :scared15:
Let us know how you get on...It is in their best interests to listen to you and help you to be able to return to work
take care :flowers:
rgb
Thanks everyone for your support. It feels really good to know that there is the support of everyone here behind me. I find it so strange to think that I have been struggling for years on my own with the feelings that I have and then in finding No More Panic there are many many others who can empathise with me. Makes me feel less of a freak.
Yesterday when I spoke to my line manager about the meeting she said "well I dont know what all this is about, it's not like a hysterectomy or a broken leg is it". then added that she would need to discuss some outstanding work as well! Great stuff! How does she think that I will have done any more work when I haven't been there for 5 weeks?
I am waiting for assessment for long term psychotherapy at the moment - I had a v. difficult childhood and consultant believes that the issues stem from that need dealing with.
I really hope that I will manage this meeting tomorrow, keep manically checking the weather forecast tomorrow in the hope that it wont snow again - cos driving in that will freak me out, that it will snow, so I can rearrange the meeting, and then I start worrying about what they will think of me if I do ... and then ... and then .. sound familiar anyone?
Love to you all
Lx
Thanks everyone for your support. It feels really good to know that there is the support of everyone here behind me. I find it so strange to think that I have been struggling for years on my own with the feelings that I have and then in finding No More Panic there are many many others who can empathise with me. Makes me feel less of a freak.
Yesterday when I spoke to my line manager about the meeting she said "well I dont know what all this is about, it's not like a hysterectomy or a broken leg is it". then added that she would need to discuss some outstanding work as well! Great stuff! How does she think that I will have done any more work when I haven't been there for 5 weeks?
I am waiting for assessment for long term psychotherapy at the moment - I had a v. difficult childhood and consultant believes that the issues stem from that need dealing with.
I really hope that I will manage this meeting tomorrow, keep manically checking the weather forecast tomorrow in the hope that it wont snow again - cos driving in that will freak me out, that it will snow, so I can rearrange the meeting, and then I start worrying about what they will think of me if I do ... and then ... and then .. sound familiar anyone?
Hi Lushkat,
Well aren't managers wonderful.... firstly one has to assume that your manager has had both a hysterectomy & a broken leg.....if not after reading about her I hope she has both at about the same time........
Quite frankly I find it astounding that in 2009 there are still people like your manager when I was pretty sure that Dinosaurs were extinct(obvioulsy not).
I have faced similar situations with people who live to work rather than work to live. I have serioulsy looked at "what do they want from me?" balanced against "what can I (physically & mentally) give to them?" Generally they always want more than I am able to give so then it's a question of reaching a compromise. Unfortunately if that compromise cannot be reached then maybe it's time to re-evaluate as I have had to do on a number of occasions.
I wish you all the best for your interview and hope that it reaches a conclusion that is beneficial to you and your physical & mental well being.
Regards
Bluesky :hugs:
I think I am probably at the stage of re-evaluation, Bluesky. My youngest child leaves for Uni this year (all being well) and my partner and I have talked about both of us downsizing career wise. Apart from my own stuff, we have both taken a knocking from the hours that he works (well over 70).
I feel ready to spend my working hours doing something that feeds me and nourishes me more. I have been spending these weeks off work thinking about what I would like to do. We are also thinking of moving to Shropshire as I think the pace of life will be better than where we are - Birmingham.
Anyway, I am going to try and get some sleep now and not get too anxious about tomorrow. (It's always good to end on a joke, they say!!!)
Lx
Thinking of you lushkat. I'm at the re-evaluation stage too! Hope the interview goes well, let us know xx
You are not going to believe it but it went really really well. I decided to take the bus to avoid the "driving in the snow" panic that was setting in.
My Line MAnager met me in reception and we went to the meeting room where the new HR person was. I talked about how I was doing and they offered me the opportunity for phased return "when you are ready". There wasnt much pressure to come back straight away - just told me how much everyone was missing me on the team !! I felt quite looked after actually!!!
I feel OK about it - still not ready to go back but at least I know that it will be ok when I do. They are referring me to occi health so we can discuss the phased return plan.
Still want to do the "re-evaluation" stuff but at least I know that I have a little bit of breathing space. Boss acknowledged how hard I had worked over last 18 months too which was nice.
Been invited to attend a support group for Carers of People with Eating Disorders which my daughter has. That feels quite good. and my assessment appointment came through for the psychotherapist as well. So all in all, feeling ok.
On the way home treated myself to (a lot of) new makeup!!! Maybe retail therapy is the answer!
Thank you so much for all your kind words
Lx
That's great news lushkat! So pleased that they are being so understanding. Maybe the NHS is a caring profession after all??!!
That's great news Lushkat- glad it went well.
I have an Occ.Health appt. on Monday and I hope they are as considerate as the people in your meeting were today. I get the feeling they want people to return to work ASAP well my boss does and as she has done the referral...mind you Occ.Helath are meant to be impartial! Glad it went better than expected
take care
rgb
WELL DONE YOU.............
Bluesky:yesyes:
Thank you all :) I feel quite well actually at the moment so that can't be bad. I dont know when the Occi Health appointment will come through but HR sent through the sickness policy and it seems to say that I have to use my Annual Leave to make up the shortfall in the hours in the phased return. Hmmm not sure about that one. Still, it says the policy should have been reviewed in 2007 and it doesnt seem to have been so cant totally trust what I read to be true.
Thanks again everyone - and I hope everything works out. I will report back on the OCci Health. Thinking about it, would it be a good idea to think about what would be the ideal return to work and how we would want to be treated. That way, we could produce something that might help others too.
For a start, I would want a document to give to work - manager, HR, etc that explains what anxiety is like. My boss gave me a leaflet on depression yesterday saying that she thought that might help - and although I have been depressed in the past, fortunately I am 'only' (can there be such a phrase as 'only anxious'!!!) anxious at the moment. I want them to understand the kinds of things I feel.
What other things would you want on the "ideal return to work?"
Lx
I'm thinking about this at the moment too Lushkat. Was only discussing it over dinner with my partner just this evening!! As you know I'm NHS too so I suppose it may be similar (but with some trust variations no doubt).
Phased return hasn't been mentioned for me but my other half says I've go to approach them about it before i go back for my own sake. I guessed I'd probably have to take annual leave to make up my hours, but the other problem is I've no more left for this financial year!!
Was wondering though - I've had some annual leave while I've actually been off sick, so would that time be reimbursed?!! Long shot I know and this is the NHS we're talking about. I was thinking of contacting HR and if not then the union for some advice on this.
Anyhow, I'd say use your annual leave to get that time to ease yourself back into work. Although, my partner was saying that a phased return after sickness such as this is (or should be) different so you shouldn't have to use holiday in this way.
I hate all this type of stuff, finding out my rights and all that. I suppose I'm a bit naive and would love the idealistic way where your manager and colleagues just look after you a bit more so you get everything you're entitled to without having to worry about it so much!!!
Ok, I'm back in the real world now!
Smiley?, have you met with Occi Health? I think they need to come with the goods for you. I think they can recommend a phased return to your manager.
I dont think it would be a bad idea to contact the union - they are there to support you after all. Apparently I could have had representation from the union at the meeting, except the letter from HR arrived after the meeting, telling me I could have a colleague or a union rep with me, oh, and telling me that the meeting was in another building. That is why HR won team of the year!!!
Hope things work out
Lushkat x
Yep, saw occi health. They advised no nights for a while and short shifts. (we do 12 1/2 and 6 1/2) No mention of phased return as such and a lot of it depends on me speaking with those who do the off duties about what I think will help.
Tbh, the occi health appt just made me cry again after having to go over my history of depression. And this was after I had actually started feeling better whilst off work.
I think it might be time for a change....
Hi hun
Im with nhs too and im off sick at the moment too, but they have 'duty of care' for you and they must try all ways they can to assist you back to work, they have to give you phased return after youve been signed off sick for so many weeks..ive been off 4 weeks and had phased return! your hr should inform you who they are. Im in the north east so im not sure if its the same company across the board but the nhs changed over from bupa to ppc online www.ppconline.info (http://www.ppconline.info) theyre on freephone 0800-282193 might be worth giving them a ring to see if they are your occ health too? but if they cant help ask your hr who they are as soon as you can.
Sounds like your manager needs some man management skills training hun. Annoys me when they treat staff with so little understanding and respect.
Good luck
xxxx
I agree, it annoys me too. 'Specially when we work in a 'caring' profession.
Lx
I was off for two weeks and although i didn't feel ready i was made to feel so bad by work that i returned anyway... I also only recieved SSP so i was starting to get worried about paying bills etc.
I asked to meet with me manager and HR on the tuesday and asked if i could go back to a job that i used to do for a little while as it is less stressful.
However i have been recieving emails from my manager asking about the poor performance of my department in January, even though i wasn't there in Jan and he was supposed to be looking after it.
It is all starting to get to me again and i don't know how to stop it.
I was supposed to have a return to work interview on Friday 31st Jan but the HR rep didn't show and still hasn't and even if she doesn't i just don't know what to say other than question my lack of wages.
Hi
I'm actually an HR Director for a large organisation and one of the most basic options to offer anyone who has been off for a period of time is a 'return to work programme' - that is you gradually over a period of time return to work. Say you return for the first two weeks on 18 hours then build it up over a period until you are back full-time, this is VERY common practice to do and the NHS do offer this programme.
Secondly I do urge you to be honest (particualry as there is someone from HR there) if you say you are suffering from anxiety and/or stress then this must be noted - it is then very difficult to dismiss someone who has admitted they require support, and would very much be frowned upon in any ET.
Lastly (and I am sorry to talk such facts etc ) but the working time directive states that you cannot work more than 48 hours per week (unless an opt-out has been signed (hopefully this will be faded out this year), or you are a Doctor in training) so you should not feel pressurised to work more - I would again mention that you feel under pressure to work longer hours and have your managers especially HR tell you that you should not work more than your contracted hours.
I hope everything goes well for you and remember you have rights and your manager will be well aware of this.
Dominic1975
10-02-09, 22:52
I would asked for a staged return... building your hours up over a couple of weeks and be very clear on the amount of work you can get done in 37.5hours.... so they understand you wont pushed
Good luck... im sure it will be fine
How would a phased return work for someone who does shifts? I do two 12 1/2 hours and one 6 1/2 hour a week which adds up to 29 hours paid. I'm told this can be any combination of short and long shifts.
Hereford Al
11-02-09, 11:58
I had my return to work interview on 16th January. I'm due back at work next Wednesday (18th) and have to admit I am absolutely crapping myself.
I've struggled to leave the house this week. Had a massive panic attack on the bus into town on Monday morning and had to get off. Hardly slept a wink the last few nights. Lost my appetite. Feel really weak and feeble.
Thing is, I am not too sure WHY I feel like this - I've been into work 2-3 times a week for a couple of hours at a time over the last 6 weeks or so and not really been all that bad. A bit jittery but nothing I felt that was going to make me run out of there screaming in horror.
Just felt a bit uneasy the last few days (since Saturday evening) worrying about going back even though I am only going to be doing a few mornings a week to start with. I think I am most scared by the fact that last time I tried to go back (End of August) I flipped out after an hour or so and had to be driven home in a tearful mess. I don't want that to happen again.
Hi H.Al
Totally understandable that you are feeling like this. Have you had some support like CBT, counselling as it is the 'fear of the fear' that becomes all consuming? I'm meant to be returning to work this week so know what you mean.
A tip I am trying to learn is to practice deep breathing, relaxation before the event and to visualise being calm (not easy I know) so as to be able to feel stronger when in a situation that can make you panic.
It's good that you've been able to go into work already
Best of luck, let us know how it goes
rgb
hi, just to say i am in the say position i also work for the nhs and have been off sick for 4 weeks now and prior to this stint 4 weeks before xmas as well. i did go back for a couple of weeks before this period of sick leave but probably went back too soon because i feel guilty at being off. it didn't work and i started to struggle again and have panic attacks at work due to thinking i was making mistakes at work which i wasn't. i was straight with colleagues in the office i work in and also a few other people in teh department, i thought why be embarressed about what was happening as as we know this problem can happen to anyone. anyway they have been supportive as has my line manager who contacted me the other day to see what was happening as i am due back to work in about 10 days and she also mentioned a phased return but i would have to use annual leave to cover time not at work but she was willing to get someone to cover when i wasn't in and there was no pressure to return until i felt ready. problem is if i don't go back so not sure if i ever will longer i am off the harder it is getting, i am now scared colleagues will think i am mad, i used to be the one they came to if they wanted anything done, scared now they will not trust me to do the job properly, guess that is just a symptom of the problems i am having. sorry i have totally rambled.
jackie
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