Mags01SP
03-02-09, 22:12
Hello! I've sort of been a lurker for several years, looking up posts or reading other peoples' in hopes that your advice would help me as an outside (and in many instances it has!). But I wanted to ask specific questions and get opinions about some of my symptoms directly.
Recently I've had a large change in my life; I began hanging out with my best friend's group of friends who happen to be all boys (I am a girl). They are a HUGE amount of fun and I never have a bad time with them. But my anxiety resurfaced after one of the boys asked if we could start dating. I've always had relationship anxiety and honestly I joined the group to make friends (they are a very accepting bunch). I told the boy that I wasn't interested in anything more than friends, and we're perfectly fine now, but my anxiety is not.
I worry about being with them constantly, that they won't accept me or that rejecting the boy's offer will somehow tear their friendship apart, or that I won't have fun with them or that I shouldn't be hanging out with them. All sorts of negative thoughts. I know it's because I'm outside of my comfort zone; not since 5th or 6th grade have I hung out with a group of only boys (I was always a tomboy growing up). I have been building friendships with them for about 4 weeks now, so I know over time this level of reactivity will calm. When I do spend time with them, I am fine (save for some obsessive thoughts here and there) it's just when I'm away from them or at home on a night I cannot go out, I overthink.
I am currently taking 50mg of a form of Prozac and it's allowing me to tolerate all of the symptoms I've been having; nervous stomach, shallow breathing, sleeping problems, restlessness, lack of motivation. I just think too much. I've picked up on a program that involves cognitive behavioral therapy (thought replacement) because this whole situation brought me to the realization that my anxiety is in no way too horrid for me to conquer on my own. I've been doing the excersises for less than a week now, so I know I won't be feeling any effects of that yet.
What IS concerning my currently is how I feel now. I have no anxious feelings (except for in the morning and sometimes before bed, which was bad for me last time I went through a bad episode of anxiety/depression), but I think obsessively about suicide (which was my most intense unwanted thought during my last episode). I know I have no reason to think about it, and no outside circumstances would produce such a thought, I don't feel afraid as much as ashamed and would like to stop. I also have thoughts of derealization, but not so much the feelings of depersonalization. I look forward to very little, but I don't feel sad; just sort of complacent. Is this something that will pass? I'm working on my fear of the social situation along with my thought replacement. I know I can do this, and I'm willing to conquer it all, I just need the reassurance that how I feel is not uncommon.
Thanks guys,
Maggie
Recently I've had a large change in my life; I began hanging out with my best friend's group of friends who happen to be all boys (I am a girl). They are a HUGE amount of fun and I never have a bad time with them. But my anxiety resurfaced after one of the boys asked if we could start dating. I've always had relationship anxiety and honestly I joined the group to make friends (they are a very accepting bunch). I told the boy that I wasn't interested in anything more than friends, and we're perfectly fine now, but my anxiety is not.
I worry about being with them constantly, that they won't accept me or that rejecting the boy's offer will somehow tear their friendship apart, or that I won't have fun with them or that I shouldn't be hanging out with them. All sorts of negative thoughts. I know it's because I'm outside of my comfort zone; not since 5th or 6th grade have I hung out with a group of only boys (I was always a tomboy growing up). I have been building friendships with them for about 4 weeks now, so I know over time this level of reactivity will calm. When I do spend time with them, I am fine (save for some obsessive thoughts here and there) it's just when I'm away from them or at home on a night I cannot go out, I overthink.
I am currently taking 50mg of a form of Prozac and it's allowing me to tolerate all of the symptoms I've been having; nervous stomach, shallow breathing, sleeping problems, restlessness, lack of motivation. I just think too much. I've picked up on a program that involves cognitive behavioral therapy (thought replacement) because this whole situation brought me to the realization that my anxiety is in no way too horrid for me to conquer on my own. I've been doing the excersises for less than a week now, so I know I won't be feeling any effects of that yet.
What IS concerning my currently is how I feel now. I have no anxious feelings (except for in the morning and sometimes before bed, which was bad for me last time I went through a bad episode of anxiety/depression), but I think obsessively about suicide (which was my most intense unwanted thought during my last episode). I know I have no reason to think about it, and no outside circumstances would produce such a thought, I don't feel afraid as much as ashamed and would like to stop. I also have thoughts of derealization, but not so much the feelings of depersonalization. I look forward to very little, but I don't feel sad; just sort of complacent. Is this something that will pass? I'm working on my fear of the social situation along with my thought replacement. I know I can do this, and I'm willing to conquer it all, I just need the reassurance that how I feel is not uncommon.
Thanks guys,
Maggie