lonely- or date

[thoughts and actions]

hi guys

Need a bit of advise- i have been single now for over a year, prior to that was in long term relationship/engaged- suffered from panic/anxiety for 2 years as a result of what was going on in relationship and the actual break up.

I havent had a "panic attack" as such in a few months (yeah) but i still get bad days of anxiety.

I live myself and on my days off work tend to just spend time myself going to gym or shopping or seeing my family (who have been fantastic)

i have recently been in contact with a guy i knew 8 years ago- i really really like him lol n hes asked me out on a date!!!

I am so scared and i just dont know what to do- i have a lot of issues and is that fair to put that on him n its just what if issues like what if he doesnt like me, what if i do something silly,

I dont wanna be lonely anymroe but dont wanna open up to someone and get hurt like last- am just confused and dont really have any1 else that will understand

thanks guys

xx

[sunshine-lady]

Hi

I think that's great and must be such an ego boost after having such a bad relationship before.

Why not go out on that date? Life is too short to be sat wondering 'what ifs' I am sure you will have a wonderful time and am sure that will be better for you anxiety than and med. Stop worrying and go for it!

Good luck xxx

[Lynnann]

Hi

It's just a date hun, he wouldn't have asked you if he didn't like you:yesyes:

As to whats fair on him, maybe you should let him decide on that himself,

Go on your date, have a good time and be yourself, think of it more that you are finding a new friend rather than anything deeper and see where it leads.

That way the worst than can happen is you have a new friend :shrug:

Really hope it goes well for you

Lynnann

[Forrest Gump]

Even if you waited for another year, or yet another one, you would be asking yourself the same question before dating. The issues that we have are a part of us, even if they are long gong we will be reminded of them as soon as we enter into some form of relationship. "Will this be different? Will I start doing that again? Will I be like I was or like I'm afraid to be?" Personally I've had a couple of tough periods of depression, in which I denied myself to date anyone. But that never really helped. Only when I happened to meet someone and allowed myself to have a relationship, was I able to get better and gradually move past my fears. For the past months I've had my first ever panic attacks, and although I might not want to date anyone right this very instance, I don't think that I would say no if it just happened. Being with someone can be a tremendous relief and a positive distraction. It can also prove to be more difficult, but then again that’s a bit what dating is about, to figure that out before getting too involved.

I wouldn’t worry too much about putting your issues on him. That’s for him to decide whether he’s cool with that. If not, he wouldn’t be the right guy anyway. Just be yourself and don’t try to hide your issues too much, that has a tendency to it make it – or them – worse.

Good luck,
Dr. Love

[Anxious_gal]

GO ON THE DATE!
think of it as Karma, it's about time you have some thing good in your life, but you have to be willing to let it in!
there are lots of good dating, advice books on amazon.com.
take a sedative if you have to, and maybe tell him that you have anxiety.
or have a back up plan like faking a migraine.
try to visualize the entire date going really well.
while your getting ready listen to some up beat dance music.
and have fun and believe in yourself x

[thoughts and actions]

hey

thanks for all your kind replies

I think you are all right- its the same advise i would give any of you if you posted a query like that (as claire weekes says lol)

I am going to go on date!! I dont take any medications as my physical symtoms arent to bad (apart from ibs meds) its just more my thoughts but as soon as start thinking neg my stomach churns and its a circle.

I am going to think postiive- ill be honest he knows everything about my anxiety etc and still wants to go lol i think i just think to much about things!!

ill let you know how i get on!!

x

[sunshine-lady]

Him knowing about your anxiety is half the battle. When is the date? Please let us know how it goes!

Good luck xxxx

[thoughts and actions]

hi guys

just an update!!

Friday morning woke up and just couldnt face it- there was no way i was going on a date- felt bad and really down but just couldnt bring my body to work with me- so i txt'd him apologising etc

Spent friday afternoon with family and had good talk to them about things- so felt bit more optimistic friday night and then yesterday morning woke up and thought right am doing this- and i txtd him yesterday adn went out!! was only for few hours but i did it- was so pleased with myself.

It went well but am trying not to think to much abotu things or analyse it- just take each day at a time and see what happens

thank you all so much for your kind word and advise though

x

[Anxious_gal]

aw thats so good tyou went out! well done! X X I know how it feels not to be able to do things because of your anxiety and ending up feeling really down, but you went in the end,
hope you had a good time

[Forrest Gump]

Good for you, I'm happy to hear that you went there, it seems you have it covered :)

[Lynnann]

So glad it went well,

I think the one day at a time is the way to go.

Lynnann