xfilme
04-02-09, 17:55
Hello all,
Let me introduce myself. I am Naomi and I am 31 years old and living in the UK.
I have always suffered from social anxiety and depression. I saw a hypnotherapist,a counsellor and a psychiatrist for varying periods and spent the best part of two years being prescribed increasing doses of citalopram and lustral SSRI anti-depressants and beta blockers.
Four years ago, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. At this point, my anxiety and depression were put into context and I became a pillar of strength without the additional help of medication or any form of psychiatric assistance. My stress and anxiety almost disappeared.
Over the years to follow, my mums breast cancer progressed to her spine, then later to her kidneys, liver, and head. In the process her liver completely packed up and her skin turned completely yellow and she became bedridden and unable to look after herself. In June 2008, she was sent home from the hospice to be taken care of in the family home... I was present in the hours leading up to her death. It was my first real encounter.
In the months following her death, I felt I was doing fine. I was still feeling strong and confident. In November 2008, we had our first opportunity to take her ashes to scotland to scatter them as a family.
On returning, I found my smear test results had been posted to me. The letter informed me I had borderline changes to the cells on my cervix. The person who had typed up the letter had not paid attention to the grammar, and instead of informing me that on odd occasions it can be an indication of precancerous cells, they had worded it accidentally implying it was more than likely cancer. Enclosed with it was a leaflet from the Cancer Research Department. Naturally, I freaked out. (Since then I have contacted my gp and gynocologist who both inform me it is common and usually rectifies itself).
This is when my health anxiety began. I convinced myself that my mum had gone and now it was my turn. I was working in a job with a manager that treated bereavement like the flu, expecting it to pass after a good sleep and a cup of tea. I was crying most days at work. Suddenly, patches of my hair turned white and I developed a bladder infection... the whites of my eyes started turning grey/blue. The doctor prescribed me antibiotics and signed me off work. I felt reassured. After taking the second tablet (of 14 to cover the week), I noticed my entire torso was covered in a rash. I thought again, I was dying. Over christmas the doctor was totally booked so I could only call on NHS Direct (who I recommend to ALL people suffering Health Anxiety). I called them about 20 times over christmas. All of them told me my hair turning white so rapidly was due to getting older. Why that would happen so fast made no sense to me. My doctor was too busy to see me so she prescribed me different antibiotics over the phone, which eventually cleared my bladder infection.
At this point, I was so worried about my hair changing colour so suddenly that I began to do my own research. My hands and feet were now becoming white and constantly feeling cold and numb.
Whenever someone looks for health info on the web they are naturally presented with worst case scenarios. This was the case for me.
I now began to convince myself I had and STD. I went straight to the GU clinic and had a full check up. They gave me the results the same day saying I was all clear. They asked me if I wanted an HIV test while I was there so I figured I may as well. The results would take a week. So naturally, I spent the next week believing I had HIV. The results came back negative and I was all clear.
Not satisfied with still no answer to my whitening hair and pins and needles, I researched more and discovered many of my symptoms coincided with anaemia.
Back to the doctors I went. This time asking for a deficiency test. I was all clear for anaemia... which I thought odd...so were my kidneys, my bones, my liver, my thyroid and I wasnt diabetic. My copper, zinc and selenium levels were fine. I was given a separate test for my B12 levels and my Serum Ferretin. Although they were within normal ranges.... they were only just above normal, but not enough for my doctor to be concerned about anaemia.
On further research, this is what I found, which may be of interst to some of you as it was me. I am no doctor, so consider this just food for thought.
When I panicked over my health, my body responded with the "Fight or Flight" reaction. This reaction causes a depletion of iron. The more stress, the less iron. So my worrying, caused my hair to turn white, my hands and feet to go numb, my eyes to turn blue and I lost all energy. I was not anaemic, but my stress had caused an iron deficiency. Iron deficiency has strong ties with anxiety. In my case it led me to being stuck in a viscious circle where the anxiety caused an iron deficiency and in turn the iron deficiency caused anxiety.
I am not saying this is the case for everyone, but it has taught me that the worry you experience can actually cause symptoms that your brain recognises as abnormal to you... which makes you believe you are ill.
Since November when my health anxiety started, I have associated many symptoms within my body with that of my mum prior to her death. I know most of it is trauma induced. It was only with her dying that I truly realised for the first time that I wasnt going to live forever. It made me feel fragile. Since she died, I have beleived wholehartedly that I am suffering from: Hepatitis, HIV, Syphallis, Cervical Cancer, Bone Cancer, Breast Cancer, Vitamin Deficiency, Leukaemia, Brain Tumors, Bed sores, Reynaulds Syndrome, Jaundice, Liver failure, Poor circulation, Anaemia, Banana Allergy, Strep Throat and now Tongue Cancer (due to discomfort at the back of my throat).
Fear has become a compulsion. Every night before I sleep I fear I may not wake up. Every time I shower I am afraid of my body. I have become more like a medical journal than a person.
The one thing I have learnt is how to try and prevent myself from panicking, because the panic itself is usually more destructive than the actual medical problem.
I cannot offer advice as to how to cope as everyone deals with it differently. Counselling has helped me a lot. I just hope telling my story might put things in perspective for someone else out there. Sometimes Health Anxiety is Past truma in desguise. I know it is for me.
Naomi xx
Let me introduce myself. I am Naomi and I am 31 years old and living in the UK.
I have always suffered from social anxiety and depression. I saw a hypnotherapist,a counsellor and a psychiatrist for varying periods and spent the best part of two years being prescribed increasing doses of citalopram and lustral SSRI anti-depressants and beta blockers.
Four years ago, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. At this point, my anxiety and depression were put into context and I became a pillar of strength without the additional help of medication or any form of psychiatric assistance. My stress and anxiety almost disappeared.
Over the years to follow, my mums breast cancer progressed to her spine, then later to her kidneys, liver, and head. In the process her liver completely packed up and her skin turned completely yellow and she became bedridden and unable to look after herself. In June 2008, she was sent home from the hospice to be taken care of in the family home... I was present in the hours leading up to her death. It was my first real encounter.
In the months following her death, I felt I was doing fine. I was still feeling strong and confident. In November 2008, we had our first opportunity to take her ashes to scotland to scatter them as a family.
On returning, I found my smear test results had been posted to me. The letter informed me I had borderline changes to the cells on my cervix. The person who had typed up the letter had not paid attention to the grammar, and instead of informing me that on odd occasions it can be an indication of precancerous cells, they had worded it accidentally implying it was more than likely cancer. Enclosed with it was a leaflet from the Cancer Research Department. Naturally, I freaked out. (Since then I have contacted my gp and gynocologist who both inform me it is common and usually rectifies itself).
This is when my health anxiety began. I convinced myself that my mum had gone and now it was my turn. I was working in a job with a manager that treated bereavement like the flu, expecting it to pass after a good sleep and a cup of tea. I was crying most days at work. Suddenly, patches of my hair turned white and I developed a bladder infection... the whites of my eyes started turning grey/blue. The doctor prescribed me antibiotics and signed me off work. I felt reassured. After taking the second tablet (of 14 to cover the week), I noticed my entire torso was covered in a rash. I thought again, I was dying. Over christmas the doctor was totally booked so I could only call on NHS Direct (who I recommend to ALL people suffering Health Anxiety). I called them about 20 times over christmas. All of them told me my hair turning white so rapidly was due to getting older. Why that would happen so fast made no sense to me. My doctor was too busy to see me so she prescribed me different antibiotics over the phone, which eventually cleared my bladder infection.
At this point, I was so worried about my hair changing colour so suddenly that I began to do my own research. My hands and feet were now becoming white and constantly feeling cold and numb.
Whenever someone looks for health info on the web they are naturally presented with worst case scenarios. This was the case for me.
I now began to convince myself I had and STD. I went straight to the GU clinic and had a full check up. They gave me the results the same day saying I was all clear. They asked me if I wanted an HIV test while I was there so I figured I may as well. The results would take a week. So naturally, I spent the next week believing I had HIV. The results came back negative and I was all clear.
Not satisfied with still no answer to my whitening hair and pins and needles, I researched more and discovered many of my symptoms coincided with anaemia.
Back to the doctors I went. This time asking for a deficiency test. I was all clear for anaemia... which I thought odd...so were my kidneys, my bones, my liver, my thyroid and I wasnt diabetic. My copper, zinc and selenium levels were fine. I was given a separate test for my B12 levels and my Serum Ferretin. Although they were within normal ranges.... they were only just above normal, but not enough for my doctor to be concerned about anaemia.
On further research, this is what I found, which may be of interst to some of you as it was me. I am no doctor, so consider this just food for thought.
When I panicked over my health, my body responded with the "Fight or Flight" reaction. This reaction causes a depletion of iron. The more stress, the less iron. So my worrying, caused my hair to turn white, my hands and feet to go numb, my eyes to turn blue and I lost all energy. I was not anaemic, but my stress had caused an iron deficiency. Iron deficiency has strong ties with anxiety. In my case it led me to being stuck in a viscious circle where the anxiety caused an iron deficiency and in turn the iron deficiency caused anxiety.
I am not saying this is the case for everyone, but it has taught me that the worry you experience can actually cause symptoms that your brain recognises as abnormal to you... which makes you believe you are ill.
Since November when my health anxiety started, I have associated many symptoms within my body with that of my mum prior to her death. I know most of it is trauma induced. It was only with her dying that I truly realised for the first time that I wasnt going to live forever. It made me feel fragile. Since she died, I have beleived wholehartedly that I am suffering from: Hepatitis, HIV, Syphallis, Cervical Cancer, Bone Cancer, Breast Cancer, Vitamin Deficiency, Leukaemia, Brain Tumors, Bed sores, Reynaulds Syndrome, Jaundice, Liver failure, Poor circulation, Anaemia, Banana Allergy, Strep Throat and now Tongue Cancer (due to discomfort at the back of my throat).
Fear has become a compulsion. Every night before I sleep I fear I may not wake up. Every time I shower I am afraid of my body. I have become more like a medical journal than a person.
The one thing I have learnt is how to try and prevent myself from panicking, because the panic itself is usually more destructive than the actual medical problem.
I cannot offer advice as to how to cope as everyone deals with it differently. Counselling has helped me a lot. I just hope telling my story might put things in perspective for someone else out there. Sometimes Health Anxiety is Past truma in desguise. I know it is for me.
Naomi xx