this is my life

[beckles]

hi there my name is beckles (becky) and i suffer from anxiety disorder. my bouts of anxiety used to be very occasional but recently i'm finding that my anxiety is getting worse. like many people on this forum, i suffer from health anxiety. over the last few years i have suffered from palpatations which i find very scary. not only do i have palpatations but i experience chest pain (which i'm terrified is angina) even tho i'm only 21 and also breathlessness. my mum and nan both suffered from high blood pressure and i got mine checked out at the age of 14. it was v high on numerous occasions and i was assessed in a heart clinic, had a few ECG's etc and they claimed that i had a heart murmur. this was quite scary but i wasnt suffering from anxiety attacks at this time. however i have since been back for numerous check ups and doctors say that my heart murmur is not a threat to my life and as long as it doesnt get any worse then i shouldnt be worried...yet i am!!! what if they have got it wrong? what if i'm gonna have a heart attack tomorrow? i'm so panicky about this...
another thing that i'm terrified about is the thought of people i love ,dying. the thought of me dying is incredibly scary, but the thought of my close friends, family and especially my fiance dying devastates me. i'm in turmoil almost everyday, eg if my fiance is a few minutes late picking me up from work then i worry that he's had an accident or something. i feel really abnormal-am i ? surely i shouldn't be worrying about things like this but i am and i dont know how to stop it.
thanks for reading my post. x x

[weeble40]

Hi and a big welcome to NMP its great to have you here, hope to see you in chat sometime,

Take care

Emma xxx

[Getting by..]

Hi Beckles

You are not abnormal, please don't think like that - everyone here feels exactly the same as you (some with much less reason - myself included). You have obvioulsy had a really rubbish time and that's bound to leave you feeling a little strained but that doesn't make you any different from the rest off us and yes maybe you shouldn't worry about these things but you do and that's what is important not how you or others think you should or shouldn't feel. I really hope that you find some comfort from this site I am a new member but have been peeking for a while and find everyone's else expereinces and support makes such a difference.

X

[sunshine-lady]

Hi and:welcome: to NMP, pleased you found us. I'm sure you will like it here as there is so much advice, information and support.Please remember you are never alone.

chat is fun too and a great place to make new friends:biggrin:

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Becky,

Welcome to NMP. Many here will understand how you are feeling and you will get support.

Take care,

Laura