Was it a good idea... I faced my fear this morning

[mjh74]

Hi all....

As some of you who have read my posts will know, I have a fear of vomit and am obsessed about my throat. Feeling almost as if I can't speak because my it feels so sensitive and like I want to heave a lot of the time.

Well things have started to get a bit better but because I also felt a bit braver I thought I'd try and face the fear so this morning I rubbed my tongue around the back of my throat until I heaved. This wasn't too bad but that wasn't the end of it and I then had a really hard involuntary heave that almost make me sick. It's actually left my gullet and down into my stomach feeling a bit burny now and I still have the notion that I want to heave a bit.

Did I do the right thing or have I just unnverved myself even more? My heart is racing a bit and I feel a bit nervous now...


Mark

[Meg]

I'm very pleased that you are making headway .

I think doing a bit of exposure therapy is not a bad idea providing you can couple it with some self CBT too..

So whilst you're doing it - reassure yourself and comfort yourself that vomiting is a natural self preserving thing and it takes quite a bit of triggering to actually make you sick.

The burny is just the natural acid in the stomach coming up the gullet - no problem.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[mjh74]

It's left me feeling quite panicy now Meg. I'm worried that my mind could trigger this heaving at any time now.

I was feeling quite brave and put the thought into my mind of heaving and it only took a bit of rubbing my tongue around at the back of my throat and I did, it's the second involuntary one that came after that made me feel scared, it was very long and drawn out and I actually thought I was going to be sick.

My theory was that if you do something that scares you enough times, it will be less of an issue and in time not scary at all.

Have I done the right thing?

Mark

[angieb]

Mark I think you have been very brave, facing our fears is so scary but agree that the more you face them the less scary they become.

To be fair, you achieved something, you made yourself heave, voluntary and involuntary and still were not sick!!! The body generally does not go around vomming all over the place it just expels stuff that will make you ill, you are not ill so why should you vomit - short of sticking a toothbrush down your throat that is!!!!

Sound slike you are making great progress to me hun [^]

[mumof4]

i know how u feel i used to have the same phobia it was so bad that i stopped eating for 2 years and dropped to 6 stone.

if my kids were ill i wouldnt go near them just incase i caught it.

i went to the doctors and even councelling untill i feel pregrannt last year and i dont know how but i caught a stomach bug and i was ill.

then i realised that being sick wasnt that bad at all. i havet been sick since but i no longer starve myself so i wont be ill but i still watch what i eat and still have safe food.

i no longer cry when the kids are ill but i still dont like it and i still dont like being sick but no to the extent of panicing over it and it took me 15 years to get over it.

[mjh74]

Thank you for your replies angie and taylor. I'm starting to calm down a bit now that I'm sharing it with the world. I'm so glad you're better taylor after dropping to 6 stones! I've suffered from the fear of vomit since I was 7 years old after an incident at school and it's been through varying levels of intensity but I'd pretty much got over it until a panic attack 7 months ago which lead me to heave. It's since then that I have constantly felt like I've wanted to gag and been petrified that I'm going to be sick. I guess it didn't help that I wasn't a very sickly child and have only probably been sick about 4 or 5 times in 31 years!

Mark

[mumof4]

im the same im very rarely sick and i think thats what makes it worse.

have u tried councelling for it?


it is worth a try and see if that helps.

[denise84]

hi i feel you have done the right thing as we are always told to face our fears.i was advised to make me get better to face my fear and to actually invite a panic attack on so that in the end i was in control and not the other way round, i think if you keep doing this you will get better eventually.x.

dmcgovern

[mjh74]

Hi Denise and thanks for that....


I've just done THE worst thing I could have EVER done. I went to have a look at some information about GERD as I also have quite a lot of stomach acid which also makes me feel the want to heave...

At the top of my search was this :(

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/gastro/messages/36632.html

[mjh74]

I am feeling so bad right now. I wish I hadn't found this b****y site. I truely believe I could end up like that now and I'm sitting here waiting for it.

I'm just starting out with someone and have my first date on Monday, he knows about my issues but the more I go on today the more I feel like I'm driving him away and I'm just sick to death of this. Day in day out watching every swallow for 7 months and now this. I feel like the tables have turned...

Sorry for the negativity, just feel really bad...

Mark x

[mjh74]

I'm sorry for my irrational postings but does anyone else get the feeling like they want to heave when cold and shivering? I think it's something I've always had but only remembered this morning when I woke up shivering, my throat was tense and I felt as if I wanted to heave for a short time.

Damn listen to me.... I'm obsessed... *sigh*


Mark

[Meg]

Mark,

I hope you go on Monday and have a good time..

The cold thing, is this further suggestion from that post ?ugh , you really didn't need that extra power of suggestion.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[mjh74]

I am definitely meeting on Monday Meg, he's coming down all the way from Norwich!

I just feel so hopelessly scared today, I've had a couple of valiums which seem to have helped. I just have this fear that I will be so nervous tomorrow that I will just be heaving all over the place. All the work I've done over the past months feels like it's been a wasted now I've found a post that is THE worst possible comparison I could ever find!

I am trying to tell myself that I know hundreds of people and none of them have been like that so why should I, just because I have an anxious condition which just happens to be concentrated on my throat (as a fair few others that post here have too!)....

Ohhhh I don't know anymore...

Mark

[mjh74]

Well I went on my date and despite feeling really ill it was enjoyable. I feel even worse today though and am back with the fear that I can't go out :(. I have the continual notion that I'm on the edge of a retch and I'm holding back for all I'm worth. This is REALLY scary and I don't know what to do anymore. :(

[nomorepanic]

Mark

I am glad the date went ok.

Try not to think about it too much and it will go in time. I know it scares you but you can overcome this ok?

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"